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Rude parents, entitled kids

(214 Posts)
LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 16:24:51

Just back from a day out at a local attraction where kids can trick or treat at various doors round the place. Our kids were waiting patiently and two little kids came and pushed in front of them. Parents said nothing. And many, many kids didn’t say thank you when given sweets, the parents didn’t encourage them to when they didn't either.
My elderly grandparents came to see me recently. We stepped off the path into the road for a lady with a double buggy, no thank you, nothing. This happens frequently. I put them on the (very busy) bus home. It was full of teenagers coming home from school. Not one of them offered either of my GPS a seat. I’m so sick of this kind of shit and might lose my rag at someone soon!
If you are one of those parents who doesn’t make their children wait in line or say thank you can you fucking sort yourself out please, we don’t need more entitled twats in the world.

AIBU?

FriedasCarLoad Tue 22-Oct-19 16:26:08

YADNBU.

TheQueef Tue 22-Oct-19 16:26:45

YANBU.
I remember when it was all fields around here angry

TricklBOO Tue 22-Oct-19 16:29:07

YADNBU. One of the comments made most about DS is his good manners. But it should be the norm in opinion, not something 'remarkable'.

seaweedandmarchingbands Tue 22-Oct-19 16:30:36

Definitely YANBU. I can’t believe how rude and entitled some people’s children can be.

Zeusthemoose Tue 22-Oct-19 16:30:48

I don't think anyone uses the word entitled in RL, I've only ever seen it on MN.

YANBU but as long as your doing the right stuff I wouldn't get too worked up about it.

Autumnfresh Tue 22-Oct-19 16:37:59

I use the word entitled all the time. Just this morning I refused to get out of the way for cyclist on the pavement or buggy with 2 people walking abreast on the pavement. I only move for elderly people otherwise I just stop where I am and let everyone go round. Sick of entitled people. I do let uniformed children cross the road if I’m in a car though, so I’m not all bad.

Liverbird77 Tue 22-Oct-19 16:38:29

Yep. I agree. I wonder when and why it started to happen?

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 16:38:34

@Zeusthemoose I use it all the time! I try not to get worked up about it but today tipped me over the edge. I wish I had said something to the parents who let their children push in but I'm not a confrontational person.

@TrickIBOO exactly it shouldn't be like that! The staff seemed pleasantly surprised when my kids said thank you!

SleepsleepsleepImissyou Tue 22-Oct-19 16:49:54

My partner's children never ever utter please or thank you. It drives me insane. I started trying to install it in them since DP "forgets" and is happy for them to speak to him like dirt. Realise this is his issue, not his kids, however nothing grates on me more than bad manners! Manners cost nothing ! Why are people so rude?!

seaweedandmarchingbands Tue 22-Oct-19 16:56:55

I say entitled all the time. I can’t bear people who allow their children to be rude and selfish.

CinnamonMentos Tue 22-Oct-19 17:00:08

I hate bad manners

The other day dd got 10 housepoints because she saw a teacher struggling with heavy books and helped her carry them in. The teacher was so happy with her and said loads of students had walked past her and not offered. She also held the door open for another teacher which got her another 5 hps.

I can’t believe this isn’t the norm.

Also noticed loads of kids at dd’s party didn’t say please/thank you.

eosmum Tue 22-Oct-19 17:01:47

My SIL uses it all the time “she’s entitled to this that and the other”.

FredaFrogspawn Tue 22-Oct-19 17:03:01

The seat thing - you need to gently prompt the teens to get up and give their seat to someone in greater need. Ask nicely and thank profusely and you have taught them it feels good to do a good thing. Sometimes they simply don’t notice.

itsgettingweird Tue 22-Oct-19 17:03:53

Yanbu. I've always said no one minds when a child ac like a child (pushing/manners etc) and get excited and forget themselves.

But don't excuse it by "they are just excited"

Every kid is.

But it still means you need to be polite.

Ponoka7 Tue 22-Oct-19 17:05:41

Autumnfresh, do you make people with prams step into the road? It's more dangerous for them than someone elderly.

OP, yanbu, my youngest DD (22) is Autistic. She went to a SEN school. All of the parents worked hard to get their children to say thank you. I hate bad manners along with littering.

WagtailRobin Tue 22-Oct-19 17:07:16

People are certainly lacking in manners and basic etiquette but unfortunately it is not an issue exclusive to the young/parents of the young.

I had a "run-in" with a much older man in Tesco's of all places last week, he was obnoxious and downright ignorant, a prime example of someone who felt "entitled" but I'm pretty sure I can't blame his parents for it.

readingismycardio Tue 22-Oct-19 17:10:32

I agree with @WagtailRobin. People are just rude and they're getting worse.

We just went to a wedding a few weeks ago and gave as a gift £300 which I believe is really generous and didn't even get a thank youshock

You hold doors and they don't even say thanks.

People cut queues and don't even apologize!

Etc. I'm sick of it too.

ChevalierTialys Tue 22-Oct-19 17:10:48

I don't think anyone uses the word entitled in RL, I've only ever seen it on MN.

I use it all the time. When entitled people behave in an entitles manner.

YANBU OP, I see this all the time. DS has to ask nicely (say please) before we give him things, he has to thank people when he is given things, or when people let him pass, thanks bus drivers or drivers who stop for us to cross the road. He knows he has to wait his turn for things and that his turn will also be over at some point and not to hog things.

I teach my little lad manners and it really irritates me the way other kids are allowed to do as they please, demand things and behave like spoilt brats.

ASilhouetteAndNothingMore Tue 22-Oct-19 17:14:29

Last time I took my two dc on a bus, I made them wait in line for the doors to open, only for us to be trampled by a load of pensioners pushing in as they opened.
It's definitely a me me me culture now.

m0therofdragons Tue 22-Oct-19 17:19:02

I'm regularly told I'm so lucky my dc are polite. Er well they don't get things if they speak to me like dirt. It's not rocket science

SnuggyBuggy Tue 22-Oct-19 17:23:02

There are so many rude adults so why do we expect better of children?

missyB1 Tue 22-Oct-19 17:26:55

I've noticed people are more self absorbed and self obsessed in general. They seem to think manners are not required because they are so precious and special - and so are their little darlings. It's quite depressing really.

missyB1 Tue 22-Oct-19 17:28:34

Oh and don't get me started on parents who insist their kids "shouldn't be made" to say please, thank you or sorry. I work in a school we bloody make them say those things whether their parents approve or not!

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre Tue 22-Oct-19 17:30:46

I don't think anyone uses the word entitled in RL

I use the derivative entitlement when discussing my in-laws heightened sense of same.

I'm not unnecessarily in-law bashing. My husband was the one who introduced me to the phrase when describing his siblings.

PolPotNoodle Tue 22-Oct-19 17:34:05

Forget kids, I still have to ask adults to 'say the magic word' far too frequently.

JMKid Tue 22-Oct-19 17:34:39

Im a teacher and use the word entitled on a regular basis.

crazycatgal Tue 22-Oct-19 17:35:34

As a teacher I see this a lot.

My TA dropped something the other day and a child pointed and laughed.
If someone drops something most kids will just walk over what has been dropped and only a select few will stop and help.
I asked a child to pick a wrapper up from the floor the other day and had the reply "It's not mine" and she tried to walk away.
There are about 5 out of 30 children in my class who say please and thank you.

It is really quite sad and I try my best to change this.

tigger001 Tue 22-Oct-19 17:35:36

While I dislike the word entitled being used for young kids as it is so over used at the moment,I have to whole heartedly agree with you OP with rude and ill mannered people.

I have people tell me all the time how rare and lovely it is to see my DS say please and thank you, as it appears to have become a rarity. He's only 2 but always says thank you and please, surely that's just the Basics. I can't abide bad manners and to be rude to someone face to face or online just shows you were brought up badly.

Awaywiththepiskies Tue 22-Oct-19 17:37:45

If you are one of those parents who doesn’t make their children wait in line or say thank you can you fucking sort yourself out please, we don’t need more entitled twats in the world

BRAVA!!!

YADNBU. I'm a bit sick of it all too.

ElizaDee Tue 22-Oct-19 17:40:53

We just went to a wedding a few weeks ago and gave as a gift £300 which I believe is really generous and didn't even get a thank you

That's disgraceful. I sent thank you's to everyone that came to ours, whether they gave a gift or not.

Mitzicoco Tue 22-Oct-19 17:41:37

Just to say, that MN seems to have the rudest and most 'entitlted' people on the planet on it. Just read through some threads Geesh.

I8toys Tue 22-Oct-19 17:45:56

Just use the line "Excuse me - did you mean to be so rude?"

woodhill Tue 22-Oct-19 17:47:43

Yes there are rude people but I just carry on being polite.

I remember being told off at school for forgetting my manners at timessmile

FindaPenny Tue 22-Oct-19 17:48:10

I have in-laws whose children are like that. The mum thinks it's reasonable that the 5 year old argued with her teacher about a complete non issue and told me that she thinks her children's rude attitude will serve them well in life as compared to my daughters polite one😒

SoftBlocks Tue 22-Oct-19 17:51:05

YANBU.

Beveren Tue 22-Oct-19 17:53:02

Slightly off topic, but WTF is it with kids trick or treating so long before Hallowe'en? I was on a train last week when someone got on with three small girls dressed in party frocks and with some sort of make-up on who were parading up and down the carriage trick or treating. Since obviously few if any people had sweets on them, they were making really quite a lot of money. I was tempted to tell them to wait, but didn't feel that I could be that mean to children. However, I was tempted to ask their mother why she was sending her children begging.

Pinkblueberry Tue 22-Oct-19 17:53:32

Although I agree with you over all OP in terms of being consirate etc, I think there’s also something quite ‘entitled’ about people who constantly expect to be thanked by everyone and then get in a huff when they’re not. My mum is not British and I wasn’t brought up to constantly say ‘thank you’ like a robot like many young children who have no real understanding of gratitude - it’s seen as quite OTT, insincere and unnecessary in her culture.

Beesandcheese Tue 22-Oct-19 17:54:28

If you're doing it for grovelling thanks you are as manner less as the next person. I'd get over your anger issues.

7salmonswimming Tue 22-Oct-19 17:57:36

This morning, I opened the front door to my children's school, let my small children pass under my arm, then went in after them but held the door open for the next person behind me (there was a line of people climbing the steps up to the door). It was a busy time of morning with teachers/staff/children trying to get where they needed to be.

The young fellow behind me (easily a foot taller than me, and much heftier than me) didn't take the door 'off me' i.e. take over holding the door open, walk through and hold it open for the person behind him. Oh no, he let me hold it, waltzed around me, pushed over my youngest child - and not a word of thanks or apology out of him!

Teenagers generally get a bad rap, in my view. On the whole, I find them interesting, funny, clever, and still quite cute with their big feet and smart attitudes and pretending-to-be-adults. But this lad! Security guy gave him a sharp word, thankfully. It's okay for teenagers to be a bit self-absorbed and not see the world around them, but outright rudeness isn't on.

Manners need to be instilled from the very beginning, so they become automatic by the time children are pre-teens. They've got too much other stuff going on in their lives after that to learn, which is how we end up with rude adults.

Cherrysoup Tue 22-Oct-19 18:00:20

I loved a video the students asked to make at my last school about use of public bus etiquette. Little bit stereotypical, but they made a big show of giving up seats (in a half empty bus because they filmed during school time!), allowing vulnerable people to get on/off first then berating a friend who shoved another passenger. Absolutely hilarious, but made the point.

OneWildNightWithJBJ Tue 22-Oct-19 18:00:37

We were queuing in a restaurant at the weekend when a family came in after us, walked around us and almost stood in front. I shuffled forward a bit, thinking there's no way they'd push in, but yes, they did. Was so shocked I didn't say anything to the waiter but did call out something about queueing as they walked past to their table and one of them looked rather sheepish.

Held the door open at the swimming pool the other day, 3 people walked through it without uttering a word. The last bloke said 'thanks very much'. If he hadn't I would have said a loud sarcastic 'you're welcome'.

My Y1 class this year aren't great at saying please and thank you. Am giving out secret stickers during the lunch register to those who say please this week when choosing their lunch options. They won't know what they're for at first. They will have to guess and see if they can work it out!

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:00:48

Yanbu and neither are the pps pointing out that adults, (parents and childless), who are fucking rude and entitled too. I see it A LOT. It's these rude adults who end up raising rude children.

Although, I have to say that my four year old can be incredibly cheeky occasionally. She can also be very very polite and kind. If she is rude, I always pick her up on it and correct it, but I dread to think of some of the things she does at school, when I'm not there to say anything. I've only had lovely comments from her teachers, but yeah, picking up a sweet wrapper, I can absolutely imagine her saying "it's not mine". I wouldn't let her away with it and I hope her teachers don't either.

Hedgehogparty Tue 22-Oct-19 18:03:04

I had people remark that my dc’s had good manners, and were polite. Now as adults it’s good to hear them be polite and appreciative to other people they come into contact with.

Sockwomble Tue 22-Oct-19 18:05:42

My son can't speak and doesn't have the understanding to say it so I do the please and thank you for him.
It is not an issue now he is older because he is clearly very disabled but we did get a few funny looks when he was younger when people didn't seem to be able understand/ accept that he couldn't speak and didn't understand.

Billben Tue 22-Oct-19 18:06:55

I don't think anyone uses the word entitled in RL

Of course they do. 🙄

DontCallMeShitley Tue 22-Oct-19 18:10:05

People with buggies, aaarrggghhhh!!

I was in TKMaxx last week, in the shoe section, narrow aisles. Someone had left a trolley blocking the way, and a woman with a buggy was trying to get through. I moved the trolled out of her way and into the space at the end so she could get through, she just pushed straight through without a word, and so did her friend. It was clearly not my bloody trolley because I had one of those horrible basket things with the collapsing handle that pulls people's hangers out of their hands as you pass them. She was so bloody rude I actually said so out loud to myself.

Buggies in shops are a pain, but especially so with ignorant people like that.

bpirockin Tue 22-Oct-19 18:10:26

I agree wholeheartedly. it used to be that rude/obnoxious kids were the ones that stood out, but these days it seems to be the other way round a lot of the time.

Drabarni Tue 22-Oct-19 18:13:54

I love doing my passive aggressive thank you, at the top of my voice. it makes them stop, they rarely think though, because that's why they do it.

The same as men in top of the range cars pushing in.
It's great driving an old banger because you can freak them out.
Pretending you aren't going to stop. They shit themselves, so funny.

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:14:41

Also, re "losing your rag one day". I think you actually should! I am not naturally confrontational at all a few years on MN has sorted that out. Now I will politely say something if someone is being especially rude. The classic "did you mean to be so rude?" is a good one.

Panicmode1 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:16:37

It's not just entitled parents and children - it is across every swathe of society and daily life; people are much less polite and far more aggressive and entitled!

I often get comments on how beautifully behaved my children are - and people ask me how we''ve done it. Umm, it started before they could talk, and continues every single day (magic word? Sit up straight, hold your cutlery properly etc!) now, despite them being teenagers....it takes a lot of effort!

Greyponcho Tue 22-Oct-19 18:17:14

Working in a secondary school the kids ask “miss I need a pencil”, to which I reply (whilst holding a pencil) “sorry, I don’t have a pencil. I do have a pencil-please that you may borrow”. Queue the momentary look of confusion while they process what I’ve said... then they’ll ask for a pencil please.

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:18:11

The same as men in top of the range cars pushing in.

Yes, it's exactly like this! Those people just don't care. My slightly volatile sister was thinking her horn and flipping off some man in a big 4 x 4 recently (not sensible of her, I know) and apparently he didn't bat an eyelid. Even if you pick up on people's rudeness they sometimes don't care.

But, I think some people are just rude because that's what they see other people do. Like a negative pay it forward. Those people might actually think twice if you politely mention things.

I have noticed that if I am really courteous to previously slightly ignorant people, they will often respond quite well to it.

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:18:46

*honking

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:20:23

Should point out that the 4x4 driver had just done something rude and dangerous to my sister. Not the best reaction from her, but apparently he was pretty pleased with himself all the same!

StrangeLookingParasite Tue 22-Oct-19 18:21:09

m0therofdragons: I'm regularly told I'm so lucky my dc are polite.

But luck has nothing to do with it - it's your hard work and repetition that put it there!

missyB1 Oh and don't get me started on parents who insist their kids "shouldn't be made" to say please, thank you or sorry.

WTF? Why on earth would you teach your children this??? What horrors they'll end up being.

Daytimetellysucks Tue 22-Oct-19 18:22:29

YADNBU

The other week I had a mum I barely know accost me in our local shop to ask if her very, very beginner 10 year old DD can have a ride on my DD’s pony.

DD’s pony is generally quite lovely but is not a beginners pony by any stretch of the imagination so I politely said no, explained why and suggested a fab local riding school.

The mum flipped, called me selfish and the kid had a tantrum. I was shock.

She messaged me twice since - once to tell me she couldn’t believe I could be so selfish then again to tell me her daughter hadn’t stopped crying since and she hoped I was happy with myself

I replied to the last one to say I was very happy that her daughter’s riding accident wouldn’t be on my conscience

She replied ‘fuck off. Blocked’

I am still somewhat bemused by the whole thing

TricklBOO Tue 22-Oct-19 18:24:58

I always think of THIS

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:27:05

@Beesandcheese are you one of the parents we’re talking about?

bakesalesally Tue 22-Oct-19 18:27:36

Ugh. YADNBU.

I even say please and thank you to Siri and Alexa

SnuggyBuggy Tue 22-Oct-19 18:27:44

@Daytimetellysucks

Did this person crap on about "sharing"

It's always the entitled fuckers who talk about sharing these days.

tootiredtothink Tue 22-Oct-19 18:28:21

I was on the bus today and a man in a wheelchair was refused entry as there were 2 pushchairs on already. The lady with one of the chairs was shouting at the drive that there was no room.

When an elderly lady said she should be ashamed as she could have moved (had a friend with her and both sat down in pull down seats) she was sworn at whole the bus driver did nothing.

Honestly never been so ashamed of people. Can bet her child won’t be taught to stand on the bus either.

TricklBOO Tue 22-Oct-19 18:28:52

Thank goodness it's not just me @bakesalesally! I've seen Terminator. I'm keeping the machines sweet grin

bakesalesally Tue 22-Oct-19 18:29:47

@TricklBOO grin

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:30:50

daytimetelly

Sweet jesus.

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:32:59

tootired

What I hate is that the drivers do absolutely nothing. So do the passengers. But, the reason nobody wants to intervene is probably because when they do they end up being the target of the CF's rage. The only way to sort the worst ones out is to be as bad as them really and then we've totally failed.

bloodywhitecat Tue 22-Oct-19 18:33:19

I watched a young teen the other day as she noticed an elderly lady struggle with the door and step up to a cafe, the teen went over, said "Can I help you?" pushed open the door and took the lady's bag inside for her. There are plenty of good children/teens and young people out there, they probably outnumber the entitled ones but they just don't stand out as much in our memories.

danni0509 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:33:42

Ds (6) has asd & learning difficulties he doesn't even understand what please, thank you, sorry means and wouldn't know when it was appropriate to say it but I still make him say it or speak on his behalf.

No bloody need for people to be so rude!

7salmonswimming Tue 22-Oct-19 18:33:45

DD: can I have another one?
ME: another one what?
DD: another one please

DS: I'm still hungry, I want some more
ME: that's interesting
DS: please can I have some more?

DD: can I have some more juice please? [she knows how to say please when it suits her]
ME: here you go
DD: [silence]
ME: you're welcome
DD: thank you

Every. Single. Time.

The message is getting through, and they ALWAYS say please and thank you with strangers.

user1465335180 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:35:03

I find a nice passive aggressive "Please don't thank me, I'd hate you to hurt yourself" works well. Today at my bus stop four people all pulled back from the door to let an elderly Lady on first, the smile of surprise and pleasure on her face was lovely but a sad sign that good manners are dying out

caringcarer Tue 22-Oct-19 18:35:38

I think it is sad when children are rude and their parents do not correct them. We get complimented when foster child always says please, thank you, you are welcome or can I leave the table please. We just accept it is normal good manners and a child will go further with them than without them.

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:37:42

@AgathaTheAardvark I probably will one day! I wish I had politely said something today tbh but I just wanted an easy day out. Then again I’m pissed off now anyway grin

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:39:53

@bloodywhitecat you’re probably right. I Hope so anyway! Think
I was just a bit done with it all today because the place was packed and I saw so many incidents at once.

Jux Tue 22-Oct-19 18:42:14

Sometimes I think that 'please' and 'thank you' are viewed as 'losing' in any transaction whether it be giving way on a narrow pavement or a point of sale.

As Kingsman said, "manners maketh man", but sadly it's not been as influential a might hope.

Elbowedout Tue 22-Oct-19 18:42:24

It isn't universal fortunately. I am a volunteer coach for a children's sports club and I would say that 90% of the children that I coach are well behaved most of the time and the majority of the parents fully support our approach to behaviour. But we do have a few who really test our patience, and their children can be quite hard work too.

MaybeitsMaybelline Tue 22-Oct-19 18:43:28

As well as teaching my children to move out of the way, hold doors open etc i also taught them to say loudly YOURE WELCOME very passively aggressively when not thanked.

Shimy Tue 22-Oct-19 18:44:12

@Daytime gringrin

Few yrs ago on my way to work, happened to notice young lady in front of me had her wallet and credit card showing from her back pocket, infact about to drop out. I called out to her politely, "Excuse me xyz" to so she could tuck it in.She turned round and tucked both items in, didn't once look at me let alone say thank you.

Again few yrs ago, went to on a school visit, on the way out noticed another lady (shall we say parent) about to come in through double doors, with buggy and another older lady who looked very much like her (assuming this to be her mum) so i held the door open wide for them to come in. Lady with buggy sailed past straight through without a backward glance, leaving me holding the door. Elderly lady murmured a "thanks" as she walked past.

SleepingStandingUp Tue 22-Oct-19 18:46:14

Teenage / young men are more likely to offer DS (visible disability) a seat than anyone else. People over 60 are more likely to push in the queue at my bus stop. It isn't always the kids that are the problem

Daytimetellysucks Tue 22-Oct-19 18:47:16

^ Did this person crap on about "sharing"^

No, for once there was no nonsense about sharing

I usually offer if people want to share the vet bills/livery fees/hay costs when they start on with that. Shuts them up pretty quickly.

There does seem to be something about horses that makes people think they are entitled to ride other people’s horses/feed them something unsuitable when they’ve been asked not to. She’s not the first (although the most spectacular) and won’t be the last

MintyMabel Tue 22-Oct-19 18:47:18

You are a wonderful parent / person and everyone else is awful

sarahjconnor Tue 22-Oct-19 18:48:33

There is an upside. DS is 16 and has been offered 9 jobs in the last 3 months, due to his exceptional manners. He is running a marketing event next week earning £8.50 an hour. BINGO!

sarahjconnor Tue 22-Oct-19 18:49:43

I will add that I am disabled and find polite teenagers the very very best of people. Kind, they notice me and help me. People are people, so many rude nasty middle aged people too.

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:50:30

Sleeping

I have noticed both tbh. An older man and I were having a total, very british, rant about another passenger on a bus, who had bundled past both the older man and me with my pushchair and buggy board with two children. CF passenger then barged on to the bus before all the disembarking passengers had got off and had a good old natter with the driver angry. Little fucker.

AgathaTheAardvark Tue 22-Oct-19 18:51:29

Sorry, my point being that it was the older man who was being polite and let me board the bus ahead of him. The CF passenger was a younger man.

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:51:56

You are a wonderful parent / person and everyone else is awful

That is EXACTLY what I meant.

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:55:05

@sarahjconnor agree, I wasn’t saying teenagers overall are like that, my nephew is lovely. They just happened to be in my example. The buggy woman was in her 30s so I guess it’s just a wide range of people! Wasn’t trying to pick on teens. Just meaning there were many able bodied youngsters on the bus rather than loads of elderly people ( who I know can be some of the worst offenders!)

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 22-Oct-19 18:56:57

Oh and well done to your DS!

honeylulu Tue 22-Oct-19 18:57:44

I am in the recruitment panel for trainees at my work (national law firm). Candidates come in for a whole day assessment centre. The assessors very quickly rule out those with poor manners no matter how well they perform on the actual tests. "Poor manners" include those who are impolite or dismissive to our reception/admin staff. No chance I would risk putting someone like that in front of a client.

If children don't learn good manners they could easily be ruling themselves out of top jobs in a few years.

CrotchetyQuaver Tue 22-Oct-19 19:01:52

Rudeness/bad manners drive me mad, I can't abide people like that. I have adopted a range of techniques to get my displeasure across which work quite well generally. I cannot believe the level of thoughtlessness I come across on a daily basis.

schoolsoutforever Tue 22-Oct-19 19:06:54

You are not being unfair. It seems the norm for kids to push in but, yes, I am now noticing it from adults too. I suppose I thought it was just some rude, selfish people (I'm not sure that I really understand the meaning of entitled but selfish seems to some it up). that exist in the world but perhaps there are increasingly more people like this. My children always seem very meek when others push in front of them and I am trying to teach them to make a point of not accepting it if it happens.

GabsAlot Tue 22-Oct-19 19:13:10

Kids are rude because theyre parents prob are-manners cost nothing but some people think theyre above all that

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 22-Oct-19 19:17:37

Bloody hell Daytime she sounds a right charmer.

Rosenspants Tue 22-Oct-19 19:22:45

Yanbu at all. I loathe the pushing and shoving that goes on in public transport and other shared spaces. And the failure to acknowledge when someone puts a person first or holds a door for them. And I agree, if parents are rude then what chance do their kids stand of learning even basic politeness? I get regularly and maybe a bit unreasonably cross when, as a considerate driver, I wave someone on, and they don’t raise their hand in thanks. But I saw a sweetly funny and heartwarming sign of old fashioned manners just the other day, when an elderly gentleman in WH Smith said “Thank you very much” in answer to the disembodied voice of the self checkout. Bless.

JenniferM1989 Tue 22-Oct-19 19:23:44

I always find older people tend to be more rude than younger people. That's my experience anyway

Crusytoenail Tue 22-Oct-19 19:23:46

YANBU
I commented at work the other day how nice and polite a large family with elderly to children were, that we were serving, and another colleague commented that we used to be surprised by bad manners and now we're surprised by good manners. I find that sad. As a pp said, teaching children manners and respect for others in general starts young and continues, my DD is a teen now but I've been complimented a few times over the years how polite and thoughtful she is. I don't particularly think she is, it's just how I think people should be with each other. Unfortunately I think there's a general shift in society and using manners and showing respect for others seems to make you regarded as a doormat. Shouldn't be like that.

@Daytimetellysucks

I've had similar though not quite as cheeky encounters a few years ago with my old but still slightly crazy horse. I competed him when he was younger, and even in semi retirement, he was still a goon. Constant battle with the locals about feeding him and fieldmates crap and going in the field without permission, to the point of electric fence posts pulled up and flung so they could still have access because we tried to double fence to stop it happening. Had gates broken and horses escaping because of people climbing on them. People fashioning string into 'headcollars' and trying to ride them. Luckily the horses were wiser and they'd clear off at the first sign of anyone trying to climb aboard! They did start leaving mine alone though after he threw an almighty tantrum and dumped me on my arse one afternoon in the adjoining paddock (think imaginary hedge monster) but you're right there's something about horses that people seem to think they're entitled to share them, but of course not the poo picking, mucking out, fence fixing in the pissing rain, walking 4 miles home because of a leaf looking at him the wrong way....... Or the bills, insurance and all nighters because of colic!

AnneElliott Tue 22-Oct-19 19:32:20

I agree with you op. I insist on manners in my house. It's something I get told all the time about DS and how well mannered he is. But I don't think it's anything special - it should be the norm.

Swisskit Tue 22-Oct-19 19:34:27

Just wanted to add... A few weeks ago my DH and I got on a very busy bus. A lad of about 14 immediately stood up and offered me his seat. I thanked him, but declined (I'm 50 BTW).

Before we got off, DH went to speak to him, and said how impressed he was with this, and that his parents should be very proud of him. It seems sad that this should have been such a surprising event, but shows that there are some good kids out there.

pollyputthepastaon Tue 22-Oct-19 19:36:42

@Beesandcheese I think you've stumbled onto a thread about yourself ;)

Noeuf Tue 22-Oct-19 19:38:31

God yes :

No thank you or acknowledgement for gifts at the last three weddings we attended

Rude wanker walked straight past me in Aldi where I was unpacking my stuff on the conveyor belt and handed his stuff to the cashier. Then faffed for ages getting change so I had to wait (after being queue jumped)

Etc

HungryForApples Tue 22-Oct-19 19:46:12

@MaybeitsMaybelline Having experienced both the absence of a "thank you" and the sarcastic "you're welcome" in various situations, I definitely think the latter is much ruder!

Why assume the worst about someone rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt? Perhaps someone is too anxious or depressed to say anything, perhaps they're too sleep deprived to notice others around them, perhaps they're distracted by something more important happening, etc

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