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AIBU?

You're just anxious, you dont 'have anxiety' stop it.

208 replies

GreenyEye · 22/10/2019 13:42

Anxiety is a diagnosable medical condition.

Being anxious is normal, everyone gets anxious/worried.

Anxiety is when it takes over your life and affects your ability to function day to day, when it becomes abnormal.

AIBU to tell people to stop saying you 'have anxiety' unless you have actually seen a Dr or someone professionally qualified to diagnose it.

You're making it much harder for those of us with medically recognised Anxiety Disorder to be taken seriously.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

203 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
47%
You are NOT being unreasonable
53%
Cheeserton · 22/10/2019 13:47

Sorry, but the word anxiety isn't just medical property. In a medical context you'd be right, but it's a perfectly normal word for being anxious in normal parlance. You're being precious and unreasonable.

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BlastEndedSkrewt · 22/10/2019 13:47

I'm pretty sure people are allowed to say they have anxiety if they are actually feeling anxious about something.

When I started the menopause I felt extremely anxious just before starting on hrt medication but didn't need a doctor to tell me that as I could feel it

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DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 22/10/2019 13:48

Nah I'm not with you on that one.

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ChilledBee · 22/10/2019 13:49

I don't think it takes a doctor to distinguish chronic anxiety from someone being acutely anxious.

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DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 22/10/2019 13:49
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MrsMaiselsMuff · 22/10/2019 13:51

The symptoms of GAD are easily identifiable by a lay person. You don't need a GP to tell you you've got it (unless you're looking for treatment).

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FeelingUseless100 · 22/10/2019 13:51

Yes, but anxiety is a scalable human condition. People can suffer deeply with anxiety without a medical diagnosis.

Those who happened to have secured a diagnosis do not get to deny the experience of others.

How do you have the right to tell someone their experience is not ‘as bad’ as yours?

Focus on yourself and leave others be.

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TiredSloth · 22/10/2019 13:51

Anxiety follows me around everywhere I go. Going to the doctor is something I avoid at all costs so it will never be ‘diagnosed’. So I think yabu.

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PookieDo · 22/10/2019 13:53

You don’t just get to be anxious with a diagnosis, also anxiety is often fluctuating and can be triggered by certain situations.

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MrsMaiselsMuff · 22/10/2019 13:53

From the NHS page for GAD:

How severe the symptoms are varies from person to person. Some people have only 1 or 2 symptoms, while others have many more.

You should see a GP if anxiety is affecting your daily life or is causing you distress.

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CormacMcLaggen · 22/10/2019 13:54

Anxiety is a diagnosable medical condition

No it's not.

Anxiety as part of disorders are recognised and disgnosed, though. I have no issue with someone saying they have anxiety even if they have't got GAD or a panic disorder.

It's like you're saying that someone isn't allowed to say they feel down and sad if they haven't got depression. (Obviously depression isn't about being sad but I'm trying to make a point).

Why do you want the police how others describe their feelings? Bonkers.

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eenymeenyminyme · 22/10/2019 13:56

YANBU

Everyone seems to have to have a 'condition' these days, we never had the need to label everything 20 years ago. I get stressed and worried and anxious about things but that's life.

Oh, and while we're on the subject, sometimes naughty kids don't have autism / ADHD / whatever either, they're just naughty.

Of course, people who genuinely do have something which affects their ability to have a normal life have my sympathy. I feel that they struggle more though because everyone wants to be like them for some odd reason.

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honeybunlatte · 22/10/2019 13:56

Not everyone who has anxiety or depression goes to the Dr. They may never go to see a Dr ever. Does that mean they don't really have these illnesses just because a Dr hasn't told them so?

It's great that you felt able to go and get 'professionally diagnosed' to help you through this. Not everyone can do that. It doesn't make their illness any less justified.

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CalamityJune · 22/10/2019 13:58

I agree with you OP.

When we feel sad and down within a normal context we don't say we have depression. Being fussy over how you like your house does not mean you have (or "are" Hmm) OCD.

I do think that the overuse of phrases like "this gives me anxiety" when they mean "this makes me nervous/anxious/worried" makes it sound trivial.

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Mollymoo01 · 22/10/2019 13:58

It’s ok for someone to say they are feeling anxious. There are various scales of anxiety and all of it is real.

It doesn’t devalue someone else’s personal battle just because yours is harder to deal with, it’s not a competition to the bottom.

I feel thankful other people feel less anxious than I do it gives me something to aim for!

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MagicMojito · 22/10/2019 14:00

Omg I couldn't agree with you more OP. Anxiety and ofcourse all other mh conditions are important and it's so good that people are talking about them. HOWEVER going to get flamed I think it's been turned into something almost fashionable to "have anxiety" last week's TV campaigns actually really triggered me and made me not only feel anxious but also very very angry (I'm not an angry person usually!) It seemed to really dilate something that negatively affects my life to to such a degree sometimes it just SEEMS unliveable long term.

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Thescrewinthetuna · 22/10/2019 14:01

I understand some people do say they have anxiety when they are just feeling temporarily anxious but really we don’t know what people go through and they may well have anxiety to a lesser or greater degree. It can be very debilitating but you can still have it but have your own coping mechanisms you’ve developed yourself without being diagnosed. I broke my toe once. I didn’t go to the doctors for it - I knew it was broken and I knew how to cope with it so I wasn’t diagnosed. The lack of diagnosis did not mean my toe wasn’t broken. Same with anxiety for some people. I have been diagnosed with PND and general anxiety disorder but I coped (quite badly with great difficulty) for YEARS with them before I sought help via a doctor. Many people do this, they do have it but they get through life as best they can for as long as they can. We don’t see what goes on behind closed doors and we can’t read their thoughts. Many people I know had absolutely no clue how bad I got.

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Baguetteaboutit · 22/10/2019 14:04

YABU. You can't commandeer words and police the voracity of their usage for your own purpose.

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larrygrylls · 22/10/2019 14:05

There are always people who act selfishly because they need to ‘put their MH first’ or because they ‘suffer with anxiety’

Meanwhile loads of people with diagnosed and treated MH conditions soldier on without complaining.

I think on just about every thread where someone admits to behaving badly, ‘anxiety’ or ‘MH’ is brought up as a justification.

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HalfPintPixie · 22/10/2019 14:05

How exactly would you know whether someone who says they 'have anxiety' is diagnosed or not?
Do you make your friends produce doctors notes?

I see where you're coming from, it is annoying, but there's no way to stop dramatic people from being over dramatic, and there's surely no way to tell whether someone has a diagnosed medical condition without explicitly asking.

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Blubluboo · 22/10/2019 14:06

I definitely suffer with anxiety, I get up and down days but the down days can be really tough. I don't need to see a doctor to get a diagnosis because I know I have it. I have ways to cope with it and usually push through the tough days. I also have some very lovely close friends who know that I have anxiety (and on occasion, mild depression) and I always try to talk to them on my bad days. They help and get me through them.
It annoys me actually when people like yourself, make statements like this because it is people like you who actually make it hard for people with anxiety to speak up and get help (whether that be from a doctor or a friend).
Many people have anxiety, that is unfortunately life. Let's encourage people to speak up instead of shaming them into thinking they don't have it.

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Brian9600 · 22/10/2019 14:06

OP, what you’re calling anxiety I think a lot of people would call an anxiety disorder.

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ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 22/10/2019 14:06

I’m not specifically diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, although I have been treated in the past for severe panic attacks. I do have another chronic condition that can often lead to anxiety. Sometimes it sneaks in and the anxiety paralyses me. Why shouldn’t I use the term that describes how I feel (and helps people understand when I really can’t cope) just because I don’t have a current diagnosis? I’ve only just started being able to talk about it, and posts like this really aren’t helpful.

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rainingallday · 22/10/2019 14:07

@GreenyEye YABU.

You don't get to assume and dictate how people feel.

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Drogosnextwife · 22/10/2019 14:07

I was just thinking the same the other day OP. My neighbour suffers with actual anxiety and she can't leave the house most days, it's ruining her life.
Everyone throws around the term "I suffer with anxiety" on MN. Especially if they have posted on AIBU and they know they Abu.

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