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Rich house poor house....confusion

(69 Posts)
ChangeAndThenChange Mon 21-Oct-19 22:06:43

I watched one recently from a few years ago a couple were in the bottom 10% the man worked but the lady did not despite having children that were in school, I could not see any reason why she couldn’t get a job to get them out of the bottom 10%.

AIBU to think this?

ParrotsForLife Mon 21-Oct-19 22:10:03

Cos school hours term time jobs are like hens teeth
Cos wrap around care is expensive
Lack of skills/education
A myriad of things not included in a poor people baiting programme

BillHadersNewWife Mon 21-Oct-19 22:11:41

Yes YABU because you're not just 'thinking it' you're judging. Some people don't have jobs because once you've looked after your children for 7 or so years, then it's hard to get a job at all.

Low skilled women are bottom of the pile....add "mother' to the equation and they're practically unemployable.

Most employers would choose a young (cheap) person without children as they're less likely to need time off.

Of course, there are people who just don't want to work. If their partner is happy to support them then fine. If that means they're poor but happy...fine again.

ChangeAndThenChange Mon 21-Oct-19 22:14:07

I guess your both right it just made me wonder, some employers offer flexible working I am probably being narrow minded to think she should perhaps consider employment

1Morewineplease Mon 21-Oct-19 22:15:15

I often think this. Plenty of flexible jobs available around my area.)

ParrotsForLife Mon 21-Oct-19 22:18:43

Did she say she hadn’t considered employment?

Myusername101 Mon 21-Oct-19 22:19:31

Some employers do offer flexible working, I don't know single low/no skilled job that does. How many children did she have? How much would childcare cost for all of them? I bet it would nearly wipe out her wages. Not to mention as PP said employers pick young single people for those type of jobs rather than mothers because they can be more flexible.

sleepyhead Mon 21-Oct-19 22:20:35

Have you not seen the threads or read/watched the reports about "flexible" "part time" jobs where you sign up for 20hours and find they want 40.

The flexibility is on the employee these days and the contracts want you to be "fully flexible" even if your life isn't.

There are of course still jobs with decent conditions but they're getting harder to find.

RainbowMum11 Mon 21-Oct-19 22:22:45

Really? Flexible jobs that REALLY and ACTUALLY work around the realistic flexible needs of everyday childcare?
I Know of very few that are truly flexible, if you're lucky you have been able to obtain hours that suit due to flexible working requests, but what an employer will say is flexible, is not necessarily what will work in real life for a normal working parent.

Lemmywinks Mon 21-Oct-19 22:23:50

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChangeAndThenChange Mon 21-Oct-19 22:25:33

@ParrotsForLife yes it said she was a stay at home mum kids were 6 & 9 I believe. In my employment people are offered flexible working or school hours in sure supermarkets would offer this too. I was more curious rather than judging. Her partner worked part time rather than full time so it just made me wonder why they couldn’t both work part time to boost income

Floofffs Mon 21-Oct-19 22:27:10

I'm sort of with the OP here, as a single parent I had to work despite having 2 school age kids

It can be done and be financially worthwhile.

ChangeAndThenChange Mon 21-Oct-19 22:28:29

I just think if you can’t afford basic things for your children or are struggling to keep hold of your accommodation things need to be considered

WagtailRobin Mon 21-Oct-19 22:29:20

Clearly you're not familiar with the life the "working poor" have to live; Even if she did get a job, it's unlikely to take her out of the "bottom 10%" or in the least not too far out of it, the "working poor" have jobs but are still on the breadline.

Obviously you have no understanding of how the real world is for most of society and your whole post is judgemental and distasteful.

MollysMummy2010 Mon 21-Oct-19 22:29:44

My job is fully flexible! Lucky me - but I had already worked there for ten years when I got pregnant and for fifteen when I requested a proper change in hours. I can’t leave until my daughter starts high school as nowhere else would offer me this. Very difficult to walk into work that pays enough to cover the childcare and the hours you Ned to work. I also work long into the evening to make sure I got my job done - unpaid of course.

holidays987 Mon 21-Oct-19 22:32:30

Well I'd agree. She could find work. Probably not ideal work and I am dubious about 'flexible' working. I've never seen a decent job allowing the 13 weeks of school holidays off (other than in a school). But there are options. I don't know if it would be financially better than benefits.
.......& having said that, perhaps location plays a part. I'm in London so jobs are not hard to come by if you are actively seeking work. But perhaps smaller towns and countryside places don't have so many options. ?

MereDintofPandiculation Mon 21-Oct-19 22:32:45

some employers offer flexible working Flexible working at that level expects all the flexibility to come from the worker. Eg different rota every week, communicated to you about 3 days beforehand - how do you work childcare around that?

ChangeAndThenChange Mon 21-Oct-19 22:34:41

@MereDintofPandiculation no flexible working is giving employees hours they can work. It’s exactly that, I work with a lot of people who are on flexible working the idea is to give them hours that suit them & us!

NormaBean Mon 21-Oct-19 22:36:05


ChangeAndThenChange Mon 21-Oct-19 22:39:56

@WagtailRobin no your actually pretty far from the truth I grew up on a council estate with a single mother who worked an awful lot to provide for us. My mum never claimed benefits she preferred to go out to work. My mum has to take a loan out so her house wasn’t repossessed & we had Xmas presents or anything to eat. Took her 5 years to pay this back.

KatyCarrCan Mon 21-Oct-19 22:40:33

I just think if you can’t afford basic things
You don't seem to be 'thinking' that much tbh. You have no idea of their health or that of their DCs. Very little employment offers the flexibility to cope with school hours, school holidays and a DC that's prone to illness.
It's easy to judge and to be a gf but it's neither original nor compassionate.

Superlooper Mon 21-Oct-19 22:41:19

Supermarkets around here would never take on people for school hours coz those are the hours everyone is in school/work and they are quiet.

Evenings / weekends would be a different story.

MadamePewter Mon 21-Oct-19 22:43:40

YABU. It’s not easy to get a school hours job that doesn’t require holiday time work, and how to pay for holiday childcare for two children?

DNR Mon 21-Oct-19 22:45:06

Not up to you if she should stop being SAHM. Bottom 10% very different to being very few % where you cant get by. Were they complaining about their lot? Maybe they decided lower income was worth it to have her around. Hate this pressure on women to be all and do everything

lyingwanker Mon 21-Oct-19 22:45:13

Supermarkets definitely don't offer "flexible working", they advertise vacancies and the only flexibility they offer is additional overtime when they choose.

I don't work and have 4 children. I used to work until I was made redundant 4 years ago and it's just easier and cheaper for me to stay at home. I'll definitely be classed as bottom 10% but my kids have got food in their bellies, nice clothes and toys, a warm, clean home and a less stressed out and always available parent.

I have seen both sides of the coin and worked full time when my oldest 2 kids were young. I ended up working night shifts and barely sleeping just to pay the bills and also be there for school stuff and holidays

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