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To never want to share food with DH again?

(283 Posts)
NewNameOnSunday Sun 20-Oct-19 15:07:59

DH is always buying food for us to share (eg big packets of crisps, tubs of ice cream) but then has a go at me when I take my half saying that I have taken more than half.

Sometimes I weigh it out and he still asks "Are you sure that's only half?" repeatedly and incredulously.

He's just done it again today and I'm fucking sick to death of it. We only live 10 minutes from the shop so it's easy to buy more of anything he wants. He just is always acting like I'm a greedy bitch and it makes me feel upset and insecure.

Michellebops Sun 20-Oct-19 15:13:52

Just tell him you don't want to share anymore. Or ask him to buy 2.

I have to share everything with a 4 year old so I know how you feel 😳

LookingForAlaskas Sun 20-Oct-19 15:14:27

Sometimes I weigh it out and he still asks "Are you sure that's only half?" repeatedly and incredulously.

Seems odd behaviour to have to actually physically weigh the portions confused

Either tell him how you feel OR ask that he buys 2 of each thing.

Lulualla Sun 20-Oct-19 15:15:40

He knows you've taken half. He knows it. It's pretty easy to see when someone has half.

He's doing this repeatedly because he wants you to take less, and he's trying to shame you into it.

How do.you usually respond to him? Have you told him what a greedy, controlling pig he is being?

GrumpyHoonMain Sun 20-Oct-19 15:15:45

Honestly just tell him to shut up every time. He’s being petty

TheMustressMhor Sun 20-Oct-19 15:16:45

Is he like this in other areas of your relationship?

He does sound a bit strange, if I'm honest.

Celebelly Sun 20-Oct-19 15:18:38

That sounds weird! When we share stuff, we don't police it to make sure we each get 50%. Sometimes one of us eats more of one thing, then next time the other will eat more. If we share a big bag of crisps or ice cream then we just help ourselves till it's gone!

pudcat Sun 20-Oct-19 15:18:46

Get him to divide it in half then take weight it.

Oblomov19 Sun 20-Oct-19 15:18:51

I'd hate that. I'd refuse to share. When he offers next time just say no thank you, you have it all, every time I share with you, you zapp all the joy out of it.

FizzyGreenWater Sun 20-Oct-19 15:20:20

'No thanks, you have it all. In fact enjoy it, as I'm off out for the evening instead with some friends who don't get off on very subtly negging me'

JigsawsAreInPieces Sun 20-Oct-19 15:20:42

One cuts the other chooses! Worked with children in my family grin you could ensure precision measuring then!

cstaff Sun 20-Oct-19 15:21:05

Oh tell him to grow the fuck up. That's the kind of shit we used to pull with our mam when we were kids. Ffs

Shinyletsbebadguys Sun 20-Oct-19 15:21:19

I'm honestly not the kind to jump at shadows but this can (dependant on further information) be the sign of an incredibly nasty side of someone.

My df used to pull this stuff. He would tell dsis or I we could have say half a bag of sweets and then go on about being greedy when we had exactly half. When we were older he sometimes finally explained that he wanted us to have less than half to show self discipline. However he would never express this at the time and use it as a way to show how awful I was.

As in "have half the bag of sweets" meant " choose to have less than half and read my mind that's what I meant "

It was most definitely a control thing . He would deliberately offer the treat to us to be able to have something to tell us we were wrong in.

Now it could be weird food stuff your partner has inherited but it could also be a subconscious setup to make you feel crap.

Took me years to resolve and although for health reasons I'm careful about what I eat , if I do have a treat I sodding own it. If I want to damn well eat half a tub of ice cream I refuse to allow someone to make me feel bad.

If it's anything like my df it was couched in terms of health worries (my arse was it....pure control)

Shinyletsbebadguys Sun 20-Oct-19 15:21:57

Sorry husband not partner

rededucator Sun 20-Oct-19 15:22:50

As kids my mum would have one of us half it and the other gets to choose. That means they are slit as close to a half as possible. Try that with your husband

NewNameOnSunday Sun 20-Oct-19 15:23:13

I have talked about it to him loads and again today I said "I don't think I want to share food with you again." and he was just like "I haven't done anything wrong. I just wanted to make sure that I get some too." He says he can't remember this happening that often but he does it at least once a week. Sometimes he says he's doing it as a joke but today he said he was being serious and thought I had only left him an eight of something.

He also prefers me to eat at the same time as him so eg he likes ice cream late at night on the weekend, I prefer it during the day, he'll pressure me to have it at night and act like I'm unreasonable having it at a different, "inappropriate" time. I have said to him I'm not putting up with that.

I'm never sure where I am with him. Like last night he opened some crisps whilst I was putting DS to sleep. We both took some later on but I have no idea how much he's had earlier. There are some left today but am I allowed them? Or does he think that we should share the leftovers equally even though he had more yesterday.

This is all such a head fuck.

Snipples Sun 20-Oct-19 15:27:39

Just don't share with him again. He's a controlling dick. It's meant to be a bit of fun having a nice treat - not you tiptoeing round and following his precise instructions or he kicks off. Honestly I'd rather have my own stuff than do as I was told!

Shinyletsbebadguys Sun 20-Oct-19 15:28:49

I'm really sorry op but it's really really not healthy for anyone else to try to have that level of control over your food.

My dp grew up really really poor and he himself has some issues around food because he didn't have a lot of it growing up and went hungry but he would never ever consider it OK to comment on what dc and I eat or when

I would argue this is a serious sit down talk that he backs the funk off what you eat and when.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Oct-19 15:28:54

Refuse to share with him, let him eat it all and you have your own, whatever it is.

It sounds exhausting. I'm not sure how much of a problem this actually is for you but I couldn't live with somebody like that, the resentment and lack of authentic behaviour in my relationship would finish it for me.

Ignore the joy-sucking twat; find somebody better.

Celebelly Sun 20-Oct-19 15:28:58

Oh dear, he sounds quite controlling if you've reached the stage where you're worried to have some crisps in your own home! Is it just food he's like this with? Maybe it's some form of eating hang-up from childhood or his upbringing. But even if it is, it's totally inappropriate to put that on to you. You're an adult and can eat what you like when you like without needing his approval.

Andysbestadventure Sun 20-Oct-19 15:29:33

Err OP, tell him to outright fuck off or to buy what he wants and you buy what you want and neither touches the others. Men who are like that probably had mothers who do women's portions and huge unrecognised eating disorders with food.

TheWernethWife Sun 20-Oct-19 15:31:20

FFS, why are you putting up with this fuckwittery.

Costacoffeeplease Sun 20-Oct-19 15:31:22

I’d take more than half just to spite him, but I’m mean like that

He’s a twat, don’t share anything again, each have your own individual treats and remind him every time why

Pharlapwasthebest Sun 20-Oct-19 15:35:22

When he does it next time just grab as much as you can and shovel it into your mouth (yes, it’s disgusting).

steff13 Sun 20-Oct-19 15:35:27

What would happen if he didn't get some? What if you ate all the ice cream or the entire pack of cookies? I can't imagine being so petty, as an adult, to be upset that I didn't get my "fair share" of food.

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