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To not want to pay this much towards sil bday?

(183 Posts)
thatsmyumbrella Sat 19-Oct-19 18:58:32

It's SIL birthday start of dec her bf is organising a surprise birthday gathering and has decided to go to a bowling type place. He told us about it in advance before paying a deposit. He thought it would be a good activity because our two DCs could also be involved. Will only be in-laws my Dh our dcs and sil and bf. They live 5 hours away so we will be staying over in a hotel. He has messaged today asking for us to transfer money to pay for the activity asking for £30pp totalling £120 and has asked that we also chip in for sil. I have phoned him to say that I am happy to pay for me and dh but I didn't realise I would also have to pay this for the Dcs as they are 2 and 4 and won't be able to do much. He's now really annoyed and said he can't get the deposit back and we had know the cost pp prior to booking. I had checked the package and it specified for over 18s so had assumed that it was not the same price for the kids- would I be unreasonable to not pay this? Mil thinks I should just pay it

frazzledasarock Sat 19-Oct-19 19:01:06

No don’t pay.

You pay for those who will play.

Why is he expecting your little ones to pay?

fedup21 Sat 19-Oct-19 19:01:48

I wouldn’t be paying 60 for two pre schoolers to bowl. Shame the specifics who was actually going to bowl and what it was going to cost wasn’t all discussed before you booked though!

frazzledasarock Sat 19-Oct-19 19:02:20

The bowling place won’t charge for your children either.

Is he trying to get you to cover for him and his wife?

SarahMused Sat 19-Oct-19 19:04:08

Thirty quid each for a two and four year old to go bowling? Crazy. Surely they can’t even lift the bowling balls up.

Witchinaditch Sat 19-Oct-19 19:04:23

120 for bowling seems very steep. What’s included?

PinkiOcelot Sat 19-Oct-19 19:04:49

No I wouldn’t pay. It’s hardly as if your 2 LOs are able to play properly.

Witchinaditch Sat 19-Oct-19 19:04:50

Can you call the bowling place direct and find out what their children’s policy is?

thatsmyumbrella Sat 19-Oct-19 19:05:05

From what I've seen on the website you need a minimum of 8 people to book this package so I think he's included dcs in with the numbers. I also checked and it's only £4 for them to bowl

7yo7yo Sat 19-Oct-19 19:05:20

£30 pp for a game of bowling is ridiculous! Well done for telling him op.

nimski Sat 19-Oct-19 19:05:56

God no don't pay for the little ones, that's madness. I also wouldn't be booking a hotel just to go bowling unless it was a 'big' birthday.

CherryPlum Sat 19-Oct-19 19:06:02

What's included in the package, is there food with it? A game of bowling is usually around £12

LagunaBubbles Sat 19-Oct-19 19:06:06

That is ridicolous, don't pay that for 2 pre schoolers!

PositiveVibez Sat 19-Oct-19 19:06:49

Hell no!!! Do not pay

thatsmyumbrella Sat 19-Oct-19 19:07:19

Pizza and a drink (alcoholic) is included in the price which I still think is very expensive but was fine to pay that for me and dh

Breathlessness Sat 19-Oct-19 19:08:16

You don’t have the 8 people minimum. You have 6 and two preschoolers. Why doesn’t your MIL pay if she’s so keen?

Sexnotgender Sat 19-Oct-19 19:08:30

£120 for bowling confused that’s ludicrous!!

Even if it was 4 adults that’s incredibly expensive.

Breathlessness Sat 19-Oct-19 19:09:38

Why does he ask if he can swap the deposit over to a different package? One that would actually work for 6 adults.

Disfordarkchocolate Sat 19-Oct-19 19:09:49

Surely your SIL has two friends who would come. No way would I pay that much for such young children to pay.

LucileDuplessis Sat 19-Oct-19 19:10:04

So for all 8 of you it will cost £240?! Just for a game of bowling?

thatsmyumbrella Sat 19-Oct-19 19:10:03

Not a big birthday but it's a newish relationship so I think he's going all out. I was fine about going to visit as we don't see sil very often just feels like it's taking the piss

misspiggy19 Sat 19-Oct-19 19:11:09

Nope I wouldn’t pay either.

Irisloulou Sat 19-Oct-19 19:11:27

£120 to bowl, is he out of his mind?
Add in hotel, gift., petrol,
How much will this really cost?

Sexnotgender Sat 19-Oct-19 19:11:47

I’m not sure going bowling with the in laws is going all out.

ItWentInMyEye Sat 19-Oct-19 19:11:58

Jesus, it's not much more than that for a whole kids party! Don't pay, I forbid you grin

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