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AIBU to think my neighbour is bullying me with her bin

(72 Posts)
Emilyontmoor Sat 19-Oct-19 17:16:24

Help! I think my neighbour is embarking on a campaign of bullying by bin. What can I do? She left her bin next to my car door, it may well have been just thoughtlessness so I moved it in front of her car door to highlight the problem. Except when I next went out she had moved it back in front of my car door. I moved it again back on the pavement but late last night she moved it to block my pathway where it still sits. I fear I have rattled her cage, what should my next move be? She has form as a nasty piece of work. She bullied the perfectly pleasant woman downstairs into leaving her flat of ten years after she dared to complain about the noise she made (including screaming at her 6 year old for three hours which led to a visit from the Police and Social Services ). She reported the neighbour to the police three times, claiming she had evidence that she had tampered with her mail, shattered her wing mirror and cut off her electricity. The Police took her seriously because she led them to believe that she was living in fear for herself and her child because of the behaviour of the "mad spinster" downstairs. The "mad spinster" had lived amicably with all previous tenants and the rest of her neighbours hmm. All the neighbours made a statement to the police for in the event she tries wasting police time again, or starts a similar campaign of paranoia against one of us or a future tenant downstairs. Since then we have been careful to not rattle her cage, the landlord has even not rented out the downstairs flat to avoid further trouble. But now the bin is in my path. This is not a good time to be having a bin blocking our path and car door. My daughter shattered her tibia and is in a wheelchair, the nasty piece of work must know as we have had multiple trips to and from hospital by ambulance. Now she can bend her knee we are struggling to get her out of the house and in the car, it took lots of rehearsing with the physio to get her able to get in the car at all. What should my next move be? I don't want to just move it because bullies like you to back down but I don't want to escalate the situation either. Any attempt to talk to her will on my previous neighbour's experience just lead to a shouting match. My daughter is refusing a planned trip out because she is scared of bin related conflict. Ideas welcome!

Lulualla Sat 19-Oct-19 17:23:16

Take it for a walk down the street, or take it to the local dump. Tell her you thought it was hers, but when you returned it to her house, she put it back infront of yours. This led you to believe that she thinks it's your bin, which it isn't so you've dumped it.

longwayoff Sat 19-Oct-19 17:23:52

Push it out onto the pavement as far away as convenient for you. Don't say anything about it, just shrug if she mentions it.

Batshittery Sat 19-Oct-19 17:28:58

Sorry OP but I think you caused the problem. If you thought she had left it by your car door simply due to thoughtlessness, then you deliberately putting it by her car door 'to highlight the problem' seems unnecessarily aggressive. (That's without the previous history)

SuchAToDo Sat 19-Oct-19 17:30:00

Take it for a walk down the street, or take it to the local dump. Tell her you thought it was hers, but when you returned it to her house, she put it back infront of yours. This led you to believe that she thinks it's your bin, which it isn't so you've dumped it

Do this op, if she complains about your removing her bin and moving it at all, you can do as the poster has said and say you thought it was her and returned it but when you saw it pushed by your house you assumed it's not here, and since it's not yours you got rid of it....she can't complain, because then she will have to admit she was deliberately trying to harass you by putting the bin there in the first place

If she is that bad and the rest of the neighbours are pleasant and police and landlord knows what she is like, can't all the neighbours band together and ask the landlord to remove her if she is bothering the other neighbours..?

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail Sat 19-Oct-19 17:37:48

Does it not have a place it usually lives? Can it not be repeatedly put there? Where is your bin, can it be put side by side with yours? Sorry nice you/she live in flats is there not a bin area?

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail Sat 19-Oct-19 17:38:03

Sorry nice?? Since you!!

Alicadabra Sat 19-Oct-19 17:46:18

It seems that you're starting on the assumption that she's being aggressive, but you don't seem to have much evidence for that other than her past history.

Let's assume for a minute that she didn't deliberately put the bin by your car door - it could have been a mistake, or perhaps someone else could have moved it there. But you deliberately put the bin by her car door. If she was innocent of the first incident, you can't blame her for doing exactly the same back to you!

I appreciate that this woman has form but I really wouldn't escalate this further. It's pretty trivial right now, so why risk aggravating someone who you know is likely to react badly? Just put the bin back near her house (not by her car) and see what happens next. You'll soon know whether this is the start of a campaign of intimidation or just a one-off.

Spats between neighbours can be extremely distressing and time-consuming. If you can keep things civil, even if it means giving her the benefit of the doubt when you're sceptical, that's far easier in the long term than getting into a tit-for-tat war.

Emilyontmoor Sat 19-Oct-19 17:53:31

I am not sure about the current situation with the Landlord, I understood from him he hoped she would leave at the end of her year's tenancy in July which he was not going to renew but she is still there. All the neighbours acted as witnesses to the noise which the downstairs tenant complained about (with recordings) and he was clearly frustrated with her. However she has previously reported him for harassment so she may have him over a barrel.

Battshittery She had actually wheeled her bin out of her alley and to the right around a tree to put it next to my car door, she could have wheeled it straight out and left it where there isn't a parking bay and it would not have been a problem for anyone. So I am probably being charitable attributing it to thoughtlessness. I had to move the bin and her car was parked in front of mine so it was a perfectly legitimate place to put it. In fact the parking is another issue, if she can she parks in the middle of the space, so that I often can't park there. Again possibly thoughtless but equally possibly not so......

AllFourOfThem Sat 19-Oct-19 17:56:48

I would also dispose of the bin and at the same time, write/paint your number in massive digits on your one so she doesn’t take it.

HappyHammy Sat 19-Oct-19 18:05:41

Move the offending bin, if it has no flat number on it you claim you didnt know who it belonged to so moved it out of the way. Do you have a residents association who sorts these issues out or is it all through your landlord. Do you have dashcam that picked up her putting the bin there. With the parking, do you have allocated parking bays which you all pay for. If shes parking over 2 bays then that's encroaching on others property. Is there CCTV at the block. There might be something in the lease that says paths cannot be obstructed, if shes breaking the lease then ll should give her notice.

Crispyturtle Sat 19-Oct-19 18:05:58

I feel like I must be missing some vital part of the story here. If you’re going to use your car, just move the bin far enough away so that you can get in the car. Otherwise, just ignore. If you don’t acknowledge it, it will run out of steam. Make it into a non-issue. It’s just a bin on a pavement.

Also, have to say, you really didn’t help yourself by ‘highlighting the problem’.

WorraLiberty Sat 19-Oct-19 18:11:25

I feel like I must be missing some vital part of the story here. If you’re going to use your car, just move the bin far enough away so that you can get in the car. Otherwise, just ignore. If you don’t acknowledge it, it will run out of steam. Make it into a non-issue. It’s just a bin on a pavement.

This ^^

Just move the bin and then get your DD into the car.

There really isn't anything else you can do if you don't want to (understandably) front her up about it.

Ponoka7 Sat 19-Oct-19 18:15:09

I also think you've kicked this one off.

" or take it to the local dump."

Weelie Bins are property of the Council, even though we pay for them. If you think there's a rogue bin by your property, you should phone the council, not dispose of it.

Put the bin by her alley. If it gets put by your car, then report it to the LL. He can't just decide he's going to do nothing about her.

It can't hold up your DD from getting in the car by that much, if at all.

Emilyontmoor Sat 19-Oct-19 18:15:47

Back We are in a row of semis, the adjoining house to us is split into flats and she is in the upstairs one. My bins coexist peacefully with the next door neighbour's on the other side in the alley between our houses, we take it in turns to put them out and in and leave them at the end of the alley where there is no parking space. She could do the same with hers because the end of the alley she shares with her neighbours also has no parking at the end of it. My neighbour took ours back in yesterday morning after the collection so no chance of retaliatory binning.

Ironically because we adjoin we take the brunt of the noise in our bedrooms but have less direct contact than the neighbours who share the alley and have to put up with constant complaints from her about their children coming and going.

TheCanterburyWhales Sat 19-Oct-19 18:18:10

Quite. Why escalate what is, between you and her, a non-issue?
Pavements and bits of pavement don't belong to the person who has parked their car at the side of a specific bit of it.
If you do all the silly things recommended above, then the "bully" won't be her.

MoaningMinniee Sat 19-Oct-19 18:21:09

Where's the diagram? Although OP only mentions 'bin' this is clearly also a parking thread!

Seriously OP she sounds box of frogs level mad and it's good to hear that landlord is on you and your neighbour's side.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre Sat 19-Oct-19 18:22:24

I don't understand the hoo-ha. If a bin is in your way, then move it. Move it aside out of your path. If it's her bin she will come looking for it when she needs to put stuff in it.

Just push it aside and use your car!

DontCallMeShitley Sat 19-Oct-19 18:22:28

Paint someone else's number on her bin and move it along the road. Or paint yours on it and put it in your bin space. Deny all knowledge.

LittleSweet Sat 19-Oct-19 18:23:41


LittleLongDog Sat 19-Oct-19 18:28:01

I would:

Step One: kill her with kindness. Knock on the door, bin in hand and claim confusion over whose bin it is. Be overly cheery.

Step Two:
If that doesn’t work I would wait until she wasn’t around and take her bin far far far away. Make sure yours is very clearly numbered so she can’t take yours in retaliation.

Emilyontmoor Sat 19-Oct-19 18:37:45

Our Council don't provide the bins, they are our own. So if I dumped it it would technically be theft as well as escalating the issue. They have pretty strict rules about leaving your bins out, they can't go out until after 6pm the night before and should be brought back in the next day. She is actually risking a £3000 fine for blocking the pavement. If it is still there on Monday the Council traffic wardens will slap a warning on it.

Yes it does add to the challenge of getting my daughter to the car. After she has come down the stairs on her bottom, got into her chair to get to the door, got up on her crutches to negotiate the front doorstep and then back in her chair, she then needs to get back on her crutches to swivel herself and lower herself into the car seat, and all in considerable pain. Sticking a bin in her path is actually a final insult. It is temporary but it is quite an insight into how difficult life is when you are disabled.

The pavement is narrow and punctuated by street trees, pushing the bin to her car door was actually the quickest option

Oakmaiden Sat 19-Oct-19 18:39:05

Just move it?

Emilyontmoor Sat 19-Oct-19 18:39:42

I will attempt a diagram!

HappyHammy Sat 19-Oct-19 18:41:59

Let her get a fine.

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