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Why people get annoyed at no children wedding a

(230 Posts)
Irishmumtogirls Sat 19-Oct-19 13:40:36

I'm a bit miffed at why so many threads are about no kids at weddings. Mabey it's an Irish thing but Aby wedding invite I've had never mentioned kids and I wudnt expect it.
I was married last year onky children invited were me and dh neices and nephews and r own daughter. Al kids were sent home after the dinner to their other grand parenmnts for the night. My daughter was minded in hotel room by wokrer from her creche. We al had a fab night with no worry.
Never once wud any of my friends expect their kids to be invited to a wedding and personally wud Prib be horrified at the thought of it. Why not enjoy a night off.
I get ebf but come on there is ways around this.
Ready to be roasted lol

GreenTulips Sat 19-Oct-19 13:42:57

because kids are part of the family?

PuppyMonkey Sat 19-Oct-19 13:43:30

A proper old school Irish wedding is one with millions of kids there, all being left to their own devices imho.

Irishmumtogirls Sat 19-Oct-19 13:44:05

Stil I wud never expect my kids to be Invited d to a friends wedding. Why sud they be in my eyes u invite kids who are related Noone else

Irishmumtogirls Sat 19-Oct-19 13:44:44

Yes but thank god we are not old school. I wud much rather my kids were not around a load of drunk people but thats just me

TottieandMarchpane Sat 19-Oct-19 13:45:02

Weddings are family occasions to celebrate the formation of a new family. It’s just miserable to exclude children.

ittooshallpass Sat 19-Oct-19 13:45:49

Because we can have a fab night with no worry with our children at the wedding too.

TheKitchenWitch Sat 19-Oct-19 13:46:22

To be fair, in many (most?) parts of the world, a wedding is very much a family and community event which you would celebrate with all your nearest and dearest, and people would be absolutely horrified at the thought of not including children.
The anti-children thing is very much a British (and from what I could decipher of the OP's post) Irish point of view - children not being allowed or welcome in certain restaurants or pubs, or after a certain time in the evening etc.

Irishmumtogirls Sat 19-Oct-19 13:46:39

We had r neices and nephews. They were aloud to stay for a wee dance after dinner then sent home abt 8pm. Noone else kids were there. And any wedding I've been too (non related) r kids were not invited and we were glad to be honest. Day to let the hair down

SamBeckettslastleap Sat 19-Oct-19 13:46:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BeyondMyWits Sat 19-Oct-19 13:47:06

I don't get annoyed, just don't see it as "a thing"

When we are invited to family weddings it has always been a family invite, we all go or we don't.

When we are invited to friends weddings, kids don't tend to be invited, sometimes we go, sometimes we don't.

TheKitchenWitch Sat 19-Oct-19 13:47:09

Also, not everyone sees a wedding as an excuse to drink themselves stupid.

lazylinguist Sat 19-Oct-19 13:47:43

I've never been to a wedding where kids weren't invited. It's not compulsory to get drunk at weddings. I've always had a nice time with my children there.

AnOojamaflip Sat 19-Oct-19 13:48:08

Mixture of reasons.

Depending on the age of the child it means childcare needs to the arranged. This can be a biggie, difficult to arrange.

They think they should be important enough to be the exception to the rule, and their children should be included.

They can't bear to be separated from their children. For whatever reasons.

First one is the most usual I think. (Been to many weddings in Irelamd where my children weren't invited though.)

Irishmumtogirls Sat 19-Oct-19 13:48:32

Who said abt drinking themselves stupid?

RasberryRoyale Sat 19-Oct-19 13:49:30

I had kids at my wedding but I kinda regret it due to their piss poor behaviour. Having watched a four year old lay on the floor screeching and throwing sweets during the ceremony (not at my wedding) I can kind of understand why people are reluctant to invite children.

CAG12 Sat 19-Oct-19 13:50:05

I didnt have kids at my wedding because we were very limited on space, and wanted a lot of friends there (I dont have a very big family)

Everyone came and chose to see it as a night away.

It was really fun.

Spikeyball Sat 19-Oct-19 13:50:22

It's fine to not invite children but then don't whinge if the parents don't go.

Venger Sat 19-Oct-19 13:50:33

Each to their own and ultimately the choice lies with the couple getting married but if they make it child free, or limited children, they should accept that not all of their guests will attend as not everyone has access to babysitters or children who are happy to be left with babysitters.

Personally every wedding I've been to, the children have made the day. They're usually the first ones up on the dance floor, it's an opportunity for them to connect with some of the more distant family members, they can be a talking point to keep conversations going e.g., "have you seen how much the little ones have grown?", and it makes for a lovely day.

Purplejay Sat 19-Oct-19 13:50:34

Not everyone has the option of a night off with living, healthy or willing grandparents to take their kids overnight! Lucky you that this was a given for all the attending parents. The assumption that people both want to leave their kids and/or have suitable babysitters is what winds people up, especially if people take offence if an invite is declined.

I invited whole families to my wedding. Some chose to take them home after the meal or bring them/not bring them depending on their circumstances or preference. All fine with me.

AnOojamaflip Sat 19-Oct-19 13:50:52

Weddings tend to be insanely boring for children, unless there's a good amount of other children, or the family don't mind leaving early (early in a wedding reception sense)

AllPowerfulLizardPerson Sat 19-Oct-19 13:51:00

Some people want DC there, some don't.

Some people find it difficult/too expensive to make child care arrangements, some don't

It's a bit of a no-brainer. It just means people have different preferences, and although they will just deal with it in RL, it's nice to have a chanter online

Irishmumtogirls Sat 19-Oct-19 13:51:32

I jst find it strange people get offended over this. If ur not my family or I'm not related to you why wud ur kids or mine be there. Defo isn't a done thing over here mabey everywhere ese if differnt. Each to their own live and let live. But I know by 11pm at a wedding I wudnt want my kids stil hanging about. Suppose we are lucky we gave 2 sets of parents always willing to take kiddies for an entire day and Aware others not so luck

Trafalger Sat 19-Oct-19 13:51:55

Well I can't go if my children aren't invited as I have no one to babysit my children. Also traditionally weddings are family occasions, the symbol of a new family coming together, its only in very recent times that people have to have these picture perfect weddings just for the insta likes that exclude a lot of people. If people remembered that weddings were actually about the marriage and the blending of 2 families then maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

When I look back at all the decades old family photos of weddings there were children at every single wedding. It is only in the past 20 years all this seems to have changed.

Aroundtheworldin80moves Sat 19-Oct-19 13:52:38

Since having children, we have been to at least a dozen weddings. Sometimes the children were invited, sometimes not. A couple DH has gone to alone.
The main reason for not inviting children to the weddings? Numbers. Nothing to do with letting parents relax or child hating. Just simply not having space for another 20+ guests.

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