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That my other half remains a 15 year old child

(83 Posts)
Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:02:16

So I've been with dp for 10 years, 3 kids and multiple ups and downs. The one thing he hasn't stopped is fucking off secretly (as in going to the toilet Nd coming back the next morning) I thought once we had bought our house and settled he would change... Yes I know he hasn't and never planned to, the fact is that I've realised that now. So how do I.... As an unmarried mother of 3 kids, living in my Partner of 10 years bought house approach this without losing everything.

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:03:06

There is a lot more to this story but don't want to drip feed x

Pandaintheporridge Sat 19-Oct-19 01:03:51

Say a bit more about what he does that is upsetting you? Don't really understand the toilet bit!

pallisers Sat 19-Oct-19 01:04:02

why is only his name on the house?

steff13 Sat 19-Oct-19 01:04:31

I'm sorry, what is he doing?

Is your name on the house? Do you work?

apacketofcrisps Sat 19-Oct-19 01:05:15

He goes to the toilet? Eh?

usersouthcoast Sat 19-Oct-19 01:05:35

I reckon he needs a GP appointment

TwoIsNotBetterThanOne Sat 19-Oct-19 01:06:04

He's sleeping in the loo....?

steff13 Sat 19-Oct-19 01:06:05

He goes to the toilet? Eh?

I read it as he was going to the toilet next door and not coming back until morning. But that doesn't make sense. 🤷

ShippingNews Sat 19-Oct-19 01:06:29

I can't get my head around why you'd have three children in 10 years with a man who behaves like this. Why on earth did you think that buying a house would make him change ? You've been living in la la land .

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:06:38

No Im a stay at home mother since we had our youngest, (hoping to make use of my degree when he starts pre school at 3) X

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:07:48

Honestly he goes through stages where he is absolutely perfect, and these stages can last for years. I honestly thought he had grew up, I obviously was wrong

TottieandMarchpane Sat 19-Oct-19 01:08:23

If it’s his house, you need to stop thinking things like “we bought our house”, for a start.

You’re lulling yourself halfway into a false sense of security.

Do you work? Earn well? What are your prospects for housing yourself and the DC?

TottieandMarchpane Sat 19-Oct-19 01:08:49

X post. What’s your degree in?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Sat 19-Oct-19 01:09:23

He goes to the toilet and comes back the next day? Where is the toilet? confused

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:09:31

He does by the way earn more than enough to support us, we moved recently... Away from my family ( I know a red flag) I just want to know where I stand if he decides to come back in the morning when I have now given up all fucks for him

UndomesticHousewife Sat 19-Oct-19 01:09:38

So he says he's going to the toilet then leaves the house and doesn't come back til the next morning?

TottieandMarchpane Sat 19-Oct-19 01:09:53

When you say he remains 15yo, is that how old you were when you got together? You’re both 25 now?

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:10:40

My degree is in forensic psychology, it was for me to get a bit of freedom, seems funny now

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:11:13

No we are both reaching 30 x

TottieandMarchpane Sat 19-Oct-19 01:11:41

just want to know where I stand if he decides to come back in the morning when I have now given up all fucks for him

Worst case scenario he can kick you out if your name’s not on the house.

Can you rewind and try telling us the whole story?

He says he’s going to the loo (in your house?) but sneaks off gallivanting all night?

Mammyloveswine Sat 19-Oct-19 01:13:38

Wtf? Op you say you don't want to drip feed but you need to give more details/context.

What do you mean he's "going to the toilet nd and not returning?

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:14:14

I have went through a shit few years and in tears writing this. My anxiety stops me seeing my friends, I look like an arsehole. The one person I need is him and he just takes off like that. I left my private rented house (we had together but I was main name) now if I leave h I have nothing.

steff13 Sat 19-Oct-19 01:16:19

I'm still not sure what he's actually doing. However, the fact is that you don't have a lot of recourse here. If you want to leave the relationship I'd start looking for work ASAP.

Loopydizzylove Sat 19-Oct-19 01:17:03

Sorry. I'll give as much info as I can.... Example... A Friday night getogether with family.... All going well, dp will say he is going to the toilet.... Not appear again until at least 10am next day... Me and dp family are close, they don't know why the fuck I put up with it but as naive as I sound, I do think he is capable of change, just not with me

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