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MIL pawning off old dusty baby clothes on me

(234 Posts)
GetTheSprinkles Thu 17-Oct-19 22:53:18

Maybe I'm an ungrateful cow but...
I'm 36w pregnant with first DC and I have bought some lovely new clothes for him (as has my DM). The other day MIL ambushes me downstairs with a small pile of clothes she has apparently been saving for the last THIRTY years. She hands me some of DP's old baby clothes, very proud of herself. There are three baby grows that look like they'd fit a tiny doll and are now a dirty yellow (presumably were once white), a really scratchy bright orange and black wool jumper for ages 2+, a tatty/dried out brown dressing gown for ages 1-2 and an old-fashioned, neon snow suit. All smell clean but dusty. She chuckles that I may want to wash them. I'm thinking I may want to burn them. Is it rude to flat out refuse them? I was about to tell her I didn't want them when DP who was nearby piped up saying how cute they were and of course we'd use themshock
I'm planning to take them and leave them in a wardrobe forever... although I hate clutter so really just want to throw them away. AIBU?

Greenleaveslaughing Thu 17-Oct-19 23:00:33

Keep them, wash them, and then in a few weeks, return them.
They mean something to his mum.
If it wasn’t for that I’d say throw them out.
Don’t put them on your baby.

Two relatives gave me baby stuff, one gave me scratchy awful tartan dresses, lots of them.
The other gave me stained and stretched vests and baby grows.
( all landed straight in the dustbin, they weren’t fit to wear)

Pilot12 Thu 17-Oct-19 23:05:14

Take them, say thank you, put them in the back of a cupboard and never use them. Find them again in about 15 years time and have a laugh with your child about what Daddy wore as a baby!

Anychance123 Thu 17-Oct-19 23:06:29

I would keep them and say thank you. You don’t have to use them. It probably means the world to her thinking about her grandchild in something that was once her dcs. My mum dusted one of my old baby grows off and my Dd looks really cute in an 80’s outfit that was once mine. I don’t think it’s worth hurting her feelings for something so minor.

AllFourOfThem Thu 17-Oct-19 23:08:00

Take them, be polite, once your baby arrives take a few pictures in the outfits to send to MIL and then ask her if she wants the outgrown clothes back again. They clearly mean something to her and maybe in 30 years’ time you’ll be more understanding.

Yoohoo16 Thu 17-Oct-19 23:11:10

I appreciate you don’t want your pfb in manky old clothes but those clothes mean something to her just as your babies clothes will mean something to you.
I found an odd one of dds newborn socks today, it’s so small I nearly cried, over a sock!

Camomila Thu 17-Oct-19 23:14:19

MIL did this, I said thank you and put them in the cupboard. They take up room but they obviously have sentimental value and I'd hate it if in 30 years time someone threw away DSs things.

SuchAToDo Thu 17-Oct-19 23:14:40

Wash them, put them on baby, take photos, take off baby and change baby into regular clothes...and send photos by text/WhatsApp etc to MIL saying thank you for the clothes, look how cute baby looks, I know they have sentimental value to you, so when baby grows out of them I will return them back to you...then leave them in a bag in your wardrobe, and return once it's believable that the baby would have outgrown them...that way everyone is happy, it avoids any hurt feelings

stealthbanana Thu 17-Oct-19 23:14:48

Oh god she’s remembering babies in that stuff. Just take it and smile and if you need to dress them up in it once or twice. I am putting away a couple of outfits from dcs now and even thought objectively I know they’ll be horribly out of date there’s something about the continuity....

Just take it in the spirit in which it’s intended....

Cryalot2 Thu 17-Oct-19 23:19:11

Wash them well .( maybe a photo ) speak to your dp . Don't criticise them , even you have to put them in a box in the loft . Could be wrong fit, or you were afraid of destroying such ( they mean something to her)
Its one of those to tolerate.

Hidingtonothing Thu 17-Oct-19 23:20:32

I would also wash them and put them away in the back of a cupboard somewhere. I actually think keeping stuff like this is like preserving bits of family history though, I'd love it if my DM had kept some of my things and I've deliberately kept a few things of DD's for that reason. Not for anyone to wear though, just to look at sometimes because they bring back happy memories smile

Superlooper Thu 17-Oct-19 23:26:53

I was given sentimental stuff like that and I passed them along to the next family baby (sorry SIL!) grin

PlasticPatty Thu 17-Oct-19 23:31:01

She's cherished that stuff for years!

Perfectly reasonable that you don't want to use them on your fresh new baby, but have some thought for the poor dear who really thought it would be nice for you to have them.

I was that mother. I've been well-trained since. But I remember, and I know where she's coming from.

SandyY2K Thu 17-Oct-19 23:31:32

I would just leave them in an infrequently used draw/cupboard and never use them.

Then throw them away in a couple of years time.

whattheheckisgoingon Thu 17-Oct-19 23:35:16

Aw, yes YABU I’m afraid. Agree with other people on here: accept these sentimental gifts, give them a wash and take a few pics. That’s it. No biggie.

In turn, you yourself may well hold on to some special items of baby clothing and proudly wheel it out when future grandchild arrives. “I’ve been holding to this”.

Osirus Thu 17-Oct-19 23:37:12

One day, you’ll get it OP. My daughter is 3, and I really struggled to hold my emotions when sorting out her baby clothes last weekend. I’ve kept a bin bag full!

Puddypuddy Thu 17-Oct-19 23:39:37

It wouldn't hurt to be nice!🙄

SandyY2K Thu 17-Oct-19 23:40:43

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

elliejjtiny Thu 17-Oct-19 23:41:34

Wash them, put your dc in them briefly and send a photo to your MIL. It will mean so much to her. I put my babies in a couple of things I had worn as a baby. My mum gave me a teeny tiny babygrow that was much too small for my nearly 9lb ds. Either it shrank or babies were much smaller in the 1980's!

catyrosetom2 Thu 17-Oct-19 23:43:54

She’s just being nice OP. It’s her baby mementoes. Won’t you keep anything? I was given one or two bits of clothes from 30 odd years ago. I put DD in a couple of outfits for fun then put them in a box to show the kids when they are older.

AhNowTed Thu 17-Oct-19 23:44:03

Like any other gift you accept them graciously whether you want them or not.

MarthasGinYard Thu 17-Oct-19 23:45:22

'Pawning off'confused

catyrosetom2 Thu 17-Oct-19 23:45:39

Is she quite old? A bit senile maybe?

Nice. hmm

CurlyhairedAssassin Thu 17-Oct-19 23:45:58

People dress their babies up in all sorts of daft outfits they only wear a couple of times. DS1 had a Christmas pudding baby grow and hat when he was 2 weeks old. Looks tiny and cute on his photos and I smile looking back. I didn’t keep them as unlikely any future grandkids would be a newborn at Christmas time but I guess it’s the same sort of thing for your situation. Wash them, dress up your baby, take a few photos or visit Grandma for the afternoon. Result: happy, smiley grandma having lovely memories of being a young mum again, while cuddling your baby. Warm fuzzy feelings and round. smile. Job done, outfit can go back in the wardrobe. Babies grow fast and you can soon hand it back to grandma.

CurlyhairedAssassin Thu 17-Oct-19 23:46:37

Martha: I assumed OP meant “palming off”

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