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Should this event that happened at school be punished?

(89 Posts)
Mortifiedmummy12 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:35:55

Ds borrows friend his phone and friend runs off as to make ds miss the bus as he can’t leave without his phone. Ds pleads to have it back but friend carries on taunting him and putting it in his bag ect. Ds snaps and kicks him in the leg so friend drops it ( friend usually kicks ds for no reason). Friend then kicks him back and throws phone on floor and walks off too his detention. Who is in the wrong and should this be punished?. Both are sorted now however , a teacher witnessed some of it.

thisisthend Thu 17-Oct-19 19:37:42

Both did wrong. But they are kids. They must have learnt this violence from somewhere. Usually the home.

DCOkeford Thu 17-Oct-19 19:37:58

Sorry, what happened to the phone? Did your son lend it to the other boy?

Jeezoh Thu 17-Oct-19 19:38:19

Both should be, although the friend more strongly than your DS. Most schools have a zero tolerance policy to any violence and your DS did kick out, albeit he was being provoked.

Bluntness100 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:38:52

Well both of them. Violence is never the answer. Both boys need to learn this,

Bluntness100 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:39:44

Dc, yes I think she means he lent it to the other boy,

Mortifiedmummy12 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:40:04

Yes my son lent it to the other boy as other boy has no phone (broken) and needed to text his dad about the detention apparently.

Poppinjay Thu 17-Oct-19 19:41:30

They must have learnt this violence from somewhere. Usually the home.

They're just as likely, if not more likely, to have learned it in school.

Your DS put himslef in the wrong when he kicked his friend but you know that.

I'd forget punishments and start talking to DS about what makes a real friend.

LolaSmiles Thu 17-Oct-19 19:42:23

Both should be sanctioned or both should be told to stop acting ridiculous and leave it be.

They're friends winding each other up in a way that seems consistent with how they annoy each other and interact (I'm not sure on the idea of being friends and yet the friend regularly kicks DS for no reason, in my experience horse play with annoying each other, shoving, kicking etc tends to be in both directions within some friendships)

Croquembou Thu 17-Oct-19 19:42:52

I think if schools punished every incident of (presumably teenage?) boys scuffling and/or being dickheads to each other, they wouldn't get much done.

PotteringAlong Thu 17-Oct-19 19:44:31

I assume they’re secondary age. They both deserve to be punished.

starfishmummy Thu 17-Oct-19 19:44:51

They sound delightfulhmm

Bezalelle Thu 17-Oct-19 19:48:06

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LolaSmiles Thu 17-Oct-19 19:48:44

They probably are nice boys.

Some boys at secondary do wind each other up, have horse play, tease each other and it's all good humoured. They're not bad kids; they're just silly.

Mortifiedmummy12 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:50:56

Sorry my ds lent (gave phone for a few minutes just so they could text dad) the other boy phone.

ThatMuppetShow Thu 17-Oct-19 19:51:41

They must have learnt this violence from somewhere. Usually the home.
how stupid is that comment.

WhiskeyLullaby Thu 17-Oct-19 19:52:55

Technically both are in the wrong and both should have a consequence at school.

However I'd just have a chat with your son, remind him about how friends actually treat each other and how they act, that he should never lend items of high value or that he's not willing to lose/have them broken ,tell him he's a dumbass and move on.

thisisthend Thu 17-Oct-19 19:53:13

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Stompythedinosaur Thu 17-Oct-19 19:56:11

Your ds started the violence so is more in the wrong from my perspective. His friend was being a dick with the phone (and your ds shouldn't lend to him in future) but your ds can't react by kicking him!

Wildorchidz Thu 17-Oct-19 19:56:29

You posted yesterday about your son having 25 detentions in 6 weeks of school. Is this the same boy? And is this the type of behaviour that is resulting in detentions?

Kaddm Thu 17-Oct-19 19:57:54

OP if your co-worker did this to you with your phone and you kicked them for it, who do you think would be charged with assault? There is your answer.

Unfortunately provoking someone by being a dick isn’t a crime. Physical assault is.

I’d expect the school to punish both but wouldn’t be surprised if they only punished your ds.

Witchinaditch Thu 17-Oct-19 19:58:32

Sounds very juvenile (as it should be if they are in school) I see no real reason for you to get involved. Both are wrong.

ThatMuppetShow Thu 17-Oct-19 19:59:32


I am more worried about how your goady attitude translate at home.

user1493413286 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:59:48

Both; I appreciate that your DS was wound up but it’s an important life lesson that you can’t deal with disagreements with violence

LolaSmiles Thu 17-Oct-19 19:59:49

ThatMuppetShow- hit a nerve regarding your own home life perhaps?
Not really.
The vast majority of the silliness I've seen between students is just that, silliness. There's no mallice and they're just joking around with each other. Perfectly nice parents and home life.
Your comment was stupid.

I hadn't spotted the same user name.

They've started another identical these to this one too.

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