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8 year old's friend telling him about sex

(36 Posts)
Harriett123 Mon 14-Oct-19 15:06:45

Overly sexual behaviour like your describing is quite often a sign of sexual abuse. For the sake of the other boy I would report this to at least the school if not social services.

Simkin Mon 14-Oct-19 15:05:41

I think the antidote for your son in all this is a very frank and accurate discussion about what sex is. Much less confusing.

But, again, the long term and repeated sexual references /acts from this boy is something to mention to school.

81Byerley Mon 14-Oct-19 15:05:06

I'd be worried about the other child. Have a word with the teacher.

Lima1 Mon 14-Oct-19 15:00:51

Thanks for the replies.

Booboostwo - I tend to just answer his questions as they come along. My 9 year and 11 years olds would know more - penis/vagina contraception/STDs but that is as a result of questions leading to this information.

DS8 knows his privates are not to be shown to or touched by others/he isn't to touch someone else etc/sex is something adults do, adults shouldn't try anything like that with children. But he doesn't know as much as my older two.

I have never had an issue with the children being told something like this before I have told them.

I worry the child is being exposed to material or conversations he shouldn't be but like I said I don't know what is normal.

Boo - would your children tell other children what they know, I would imagine if a child is being told all this info in genuine circumstances then they wouldn't be talking the way this child is?

Velveteenfruitbowl Mon 14-Oct-19 14:57:57

You really need to have a word with the school. I’d be very concerned for the boy.

JasonPollack Mon 14-Oct-19 14:57:42

I think it is age appropriate to understand what sex is by 8. The fixation this other little boy has is quite troubling though. I would be much more concerned about telling your son to remove trousers, removing trousers and sitting on your son etc than speculation about sex which is quite normal.

Booboostwo Mon 14-Oct-19 14:52:49

I also think you need to tell the school's safe guarding officer as the child may have been exposed to things he shouldn't have.

However, I also think you are setting your DS up for quite a few misunderstandings. What's wrong with an 8yo knowing more factual information about sex? My 8yo knows that women can have sex with men, or with women, or women with women, she knows the penis and the vagina are involved in sex, that it might lead to pregnancy and STDs, that you can use contraception to avoid pregnancy and STDs, that sex is fun but only if you want it and you never have to do anything you don't want to or force anything on anyone who doesn't want it. She also knows that some, very bad, adults sometimes try to have sex with children and that she should talk to us if anything like that ever happens.

Children need this information both to be safe and to avoid being confused.

Simkin Mon 14-Oct-19 14:52:21

I'd be a bit worried about that kid and mention it to school. sad

Christieee Mon 14-Oct-19 14:48:51

Where on earth is the other child learning this🙈

formerbabe Mon 14-Oct-19 14:47:09

You need to tell the school asap

Lima1 Mon 14-Oct-19 14:45:31

Hi all, just looking for a bit of perspective on this one. We are a fairly open family, we talk to the children about their bodies, puberty and the facts of life. I answer their questions in an age appropriate manner (I have boys aged 8 and 9 and a girl aged 11).

My 8 year old was watching a match with his dad the other day and two men were on top of each other after a tackle. DS said to DH "are they having sex?". DH was surprised and said no.
DS knows a bit about sex in that its something you do to have a baby but he wouldn't know the process of it.

I asked him about it last night and he said that two school friends were wrestling on the ground in school and his friend told him that the boys were having sex. I asked him what else his friend had told him and he said pointing to his groin "sex is when you hit this part off someone else privates".
He said that they were watching cartoons in school during lunch and one character bumped into someone else from behind and the friend told me DS that they were having sex. He also said he constantly sings "oh the sexy girls" while thrusting his groin out.

My DS used to be friends with this child a few years ago. At a play date I came into the living room and this child had his trousers pulled down and was trying to sit on my DS's head on the ground.
The two of them were caught a week or so later in the school yard with their trousers down weeing. I spoke to DS about it and he said this boy was telling him to pull his trousers down.
I discouraged the friendship after that but they are back in school a few weeks now and DS is sitting beside him and so they are out playing in school again.

Am I being overly sensitive about what is going on? I personally don't think his behaviour is appropriate for his age but maybe its normal. I am annoyed that he is telling DS this information particularly when DS clearly doesn't understand what it is.

I was going to have a word with his teacher and see if he can separate them. AIBU?

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