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Partner off on his jolly.....

(128 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:25:38

So Saturday my partner left for his 4 week away this year fishing..
leaving myself alone with our 4 children.
Aibu to be annoyed, we run our own business so work/life is stressful for him.
I just feel pisses off really, the kids miss him, I miss him, I just don’t like it.

MumInAMuddyPuddle Sun 13-Oct-19 21:28:13

Did you both not agree to this before hand? Did he just decide this on his own?

Tottie Sun 13-Oct-19 21:29:43

What do you do when you go on your 4 week long holiday away?!!

Agitetur Sun 13-Oct-19 21:30:35

You’d need to elaborate more,it depends on context,planning etc
Have you had huge advance notice or did he spring a 4weeker at short notice
Are you solely left with all childcare & work responsibilities
Who’s supporting you in his absence?Or just you on your ownsome

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:31:14

So he’s been on 4 fishing getaways for a week each time

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 13-Oct-19 21:31:35

All I can say is that if you don't get your own month off then you are mad and he is a piss taking gobshite!

A month? How the hell l did that get agreed?

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:32:38

I didn’t really get a say.
He decided last week.
On my lonesome.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 13-Oct-19 21:32:50

Oh! His 4th week long fishing trip!

OK... have you also had 3 week long breaks? Have you planned your 4th? Where are you going?

MumInAMuddyPuddle Sun 13-Oct-19 21:33:27

4 fishing getaways so far this year? And each time for a week? Is this right?

Again is this mutually agreed upon or does he just inform you about his plans and you can take it or leave it?

Also do you get your breaks too?

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:33:55

It’s not 4 weeks lol sorry for how I wrote it,
So he’s gone on 4 separate “breaks”

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 13-Oct-19 21:34:11

Get a bag packed. Book yourself a break starting the day he gets back, the day after if you are feeling kind. Do it every time he goes off fishing! Don't ask him, barely tell him. Just do it!

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:35:57

I’ve not had a “break”
Occasional night out, for a hours then back to being a mum hungover 👌

MumInAMuddyPuddle Sun 13-Oct-19 21:36:08

Ih well the hell no! If you don't get a say to discuss how the other will cope when the other goes hobnobbing with friends , you best get it sorted with him when he comes back! You both have 4 kids and no one should be left with 4 kids and a biz on their own while their partner fucks off fishing or whatever! The only reason that shit will stand is if you get to do the same while he is home with responsibilities alone.

Agitetur Sun 13-Oct-19 21:36:09

Not discussed and your on your own some,that’s rotten and selfish
He’s just wafted away to find himself with the fishes and you’re shouldering the work and domestic tasks
Be clear on his return it’s not acceptable and causes you to be stressed

ArabellaPilkington Sun 13-Oct-19 21:36:45

I learned many years ago if you can't beat em join em

Recruit a girlfriend

Book EasyJet and a hotel et voila!

Simple.

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:37:06

I kind of get told he’s going, and if I moan, it just causes a huge argument

Craftycorvid Sun 13-Oct-19 21:38:32

Have your own ‘fishing break’? No negotiation and leave him with all the childcare!

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:39:17

I feel like I’m being unfair but can’t help being seriously pissed off.
I’m annoyed for so many reasons

HollowTalk Sun 13-Oct-19 21:39:43

I can never understand it when people say "Do the same thing yourself." That's not the point, is it? And my kids would've been in a real state if I'd gone away for 4 separate weeks' holiday without them. The point is his utter selfishness at leaving his partner and kids while he goes off and enjoys himself.

Agitetur Sun 13-Oct-19 21:40:16

Moan?,damn right I’d be like wailing wall if dp hopped off leaving me and weans at short notice
I’m afraid the best kick up his Jacksie is you hop off at short notice
Day or 2 and he’ll get the point

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:40:17

If I suggest I go on a break, he says he can’t take time of work to look after the kids.
I work from home.

MumInAMuddyPuddle Sun 13-Oct-19 21:41:20

Unfair about what? Is he an angel when he's home? Does he do everything at home while you sit and knit by the blooming fire all day and he needs his breaks? How are you rung unfair?

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:41:49

@HollowTalk our 4 year is really upset this time, and I think that’s what’s got me ragging!

Northernsoullover Sun 13-Oct-19 21:43:22

No he can't get time off work because he's using all his sodding leave to go fishing

4ormore Sun 13-Oct-19 21:43:45

He honestly does nothing around the house.
And all kids stuff is down to me.

Now I know this sounds really bad, that I’m painting him black.

I’m just trying to figure this out myself.

Do other people’s husbands do this, need breaks more then us?

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