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Do i let her know that i have found her letter

(319 Posts)
user1471427614 Sun 13-Oct-19 20:22:20

I need some opinions. To cut a long story short. Husband made friends with a single mum doing the school run. She lived further down the road from us so would sometimes walk the same way, husband told me about this.

Single mum then bumps into husband says shes moving away and whats his name so she can add on facebook. I comment this is strange and add her too. She later defriends me but keeps husband and likes most posts.

Unknown to me they are now chatting and metting up with children for shopping...lunch etc. I find out (they were seen) and words are had about breaking boundaries etc. I say that she has her eye on him, he says its not like that, she just has problems and needs a freind.

I have now found letter from her to husband confessing undying love and that she wants to marry him have children etc. Her letter makes it clear that nothing physical has happened and that he has said he wouldnt leave me but hes obviously making her think she stands a chance. Husband knows i have found this letter and will be dealt with when he gets back from work.

The question now is do I let her know that i know about her letter and what shes up to with my husband?

Mrsmememe Sun 13-Oct-19 20:24:13


I would wait and see with your husband has to say for himself first.


gwackywacky Sun 13-Oct-19 20:25:12

No. She is irrelevant to you, your husband is a dick. When he gets home from work tell him to piss off and go and live with her

WickedLemon Sun 13-Oct-19 20:25:27


This is aaaallll on your husband. You’re absolutely right, he’s making her think she stands a chance. He cooks have shut this down ages ago, but he didn’t. He’s loving it.

Why has he even kept the letter?

Everythingmagnolia Sun 13-Oct-19 20:26:41

Wait and see what he says first but I think he needs to stop being friends with her

Ridiclious Sun 13-Oct-19 20:27:13

Oh dear. He needs to think about what is his priority. This woman or his family.

Cannotresist Sun 13-Oct-19 20:27:18

You don’t need to do anything. He needs to go completely no contact or he is giving her hope.

hoverboardforchristmas Sun 13-Oct-19 20:27:19

No don't tell her!, this is all on your husband.

Osquito Sun 13-Oct-19 20:27:39

What Wicked has said. I’d be livid.

JasonPollack Sun 13-Oct-19 20:28:26

Let her know youll be dropping his stuff off. She'll message him and then he'll really know he's in the shitter.

Don't actually drop his stuff tho unless you do want rid. What a plonker he is, I'm sure he's been loving the attention. Tell him you won't fight for him, if he wants to go he can go right ahead. That'll take the wind out of his sails.

HollowTalk Sun 13-Oct-19 20:29:07

Tackle your husband first but I'd certainly not feel I had to keep this secret afterwards.

barnun Sun 13-Oct-19 20:30:39

Let her know youll be dropping his stuff off

Er, no. WTF?

ballsdeep Sun 13-Oct-19 20:31:09

Totally unacceptable by both parties. Your husband has led her on and I would be furious with my oh if he went out for meetings like that with her. I do think there is no smoke without fire and he has given her some kind of hope for her to write such a letter

Gileadisreal Sun 13-Oct-19 20:31:21

Do 'NOT' under any circumstances contact this woman or mention the letter. She will love that.

But serious convesations need to be had with your husband. Clearly he's not happy if he's needing the attention from this woman. What is he getting out of this 'friendship'? I'd be insisting no contact, pronto.

NearlyGranny Sun 13-Oct-19 20:32:20

Never mind her letter; what was his reply? That's what you need to know!

Along with why he didn't share the letter with you the moment he received it. How did you find it? Do you think he wanted you to find it?

It sounds as if she has a crush on him which he could so easily and kindly squash... if he wanted to.

RueCambon Sun 13-Oct-19 20:32:41

Nobody declares their love like this unless they've been lead on.

I think your H is being a dick here. He hasn't discouraged her at all.

GingersAreLush Sun 13-Oct-19 20:33:08

Your beef needs to be with him not her. He needs to totally cut her off. They can not be “friends” anymore. He should have already in fact. What a fucking creep.

Mimsnethe Sun 13-Oct-19 20:33:54

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GertrudeCB Sun 13-Oct-19 20:35:55

This is all on your H.

twoshedsjackson Sun 13-Oct-19 20:36:38

Many years ago, I found something similar. I had the lady's landline number. I rang it and read the missive to her over the phone.
Unworthy but cathartic.

Scarlett555 Sun 13-Oct-19 20:37:10

Yep. You need to sort this out with DH - don't let her know you've read the letter or contact her at all.

ThePawtriarchy Sun 13-Oct-19 20:37:22

Well your husband will already have defriended and cut off all contact after setting her straight, presumably? If not.. there’s your answer.

NearlyGranny Sun 13-Oct-19 20:37:57

You don't say you have children with him, but it is MN, after all.

I wonder what he would think of living with her and her children, adding yours to the mix half the school holidays and row and then adding another one or two of 'theirs'?

How many would that make in total - six? Seven? Who does he want to be, the Pied Piper?

Time for a cold water reality check!

NearlyGranny Sun 13-Oct-19 20:38:29

eow, not row.

mineofuselessinformation Sun 13-Oct-19 20:38:56

In your shoes, I'd want to know why he kept it.

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