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To think fil is being a bit cheeky?

(175 Posts)
LionsTigersAndBearsAndPandas Sun 13-Oct-19 14:08:34

Fil has just texted dh "what day will we (him and step mil) be having Christmas Dinner at your house". Bit of background - Fil has not really been interested in us until we had our ds. He would see dh once or twice a year for a few hours. Since he divorced DH's mum when dh was a child he hasn't done much for dh. I have never been invited to his house in the 11 years I have been with dh. AIBU to think fil is being cheeky and if he wants Christmas Dinner with us he can host?
No doubt will get suggestions that dh cook but dh can't cook well and would struggle with the shopping, preparing and cooking a Christmas dinner. When he was at university he made himself frozen food and ready meals or at best pasta with a jar of sauce poured on top or a plain omelette. So I would end up doing most of the cooking and cleaning. And a fancy Christmas Dinner from Marks and Spencer where you just pop it in the oven is a bit too expensive since we have so many Christmas presents and birthday presents to buy (6 birthdays in November and December).

Cloudyapples Sun 13-Oct-19 14:10:02

‘Haha good one dad, but I think it might be your turn to host us!’

Seeline Sun 13-Oct-19 14:10:08

What are your plans for the Christmas period?

readingnc Sun 13-Oct-19 14:11:12

Well it depends on what you want to do. Aren't you cooking a Christmas dinner anyway?

Windydaysuponus Sun 13-Oct-19 14:11:51

We will let you know what are plans are for Christmas when we know ourselves df....

Honeybee85 Sun 13-Oct-19 14:12:30

YANBU, it is a bit cheeky.

I would reply to him with:
You mean next year? Because we were expecting an invite from you for this Christmas wink

flouncyfanny Sun 13-Oct-19 14:12:32

Sorry CF FIL we're away end of conversation.

IsAStormApproaching Sun 13-Oct-19 14:13:16

"Not sure if we will be hosting this year. We will get back to you. "

fedup21 Sun 13-Oct-19 14:13:50

Very cheeky! No way would I be doing this.

What does your DH say? What are you both going to do about it?

Fiacla Sun 13-Oct-19 14:16:38

What @Cloudyapples said.

BravoStrong Sun 13-Oct-19 14:19:38

YANBU but I don’t get the relevance of what your husband did at university. He’s an adult with a family now. It would behoove him to be less pathetic when it comes to shopping and cooking.

LionsTigersAndBearsAndPandas Sun 13-Oct-19 14:19:41

I will be cooking a Christmas Dinner on Christmas day. But on Christmas day fil and step mil will be having it at their house with step mil's children and grandchildren. We or any of DH's siblings are of course not invited

Disfordarkchocolate Sun 13-Oct-19 14:19:49

2023 sounds good, not sure of the date though. And then invite him on a random day in June.

fedup21 Sun 13-Oct-19 14:22:09

Tell him that you weren’t planning to host.

flouncyfanny Sun 13-Oct-19 14:22:28

Tell them you only cook Christmas lunch on Christmas day. They're welcome to come around on boxing day for a pizza.

Travis1 Sun 13-Oct-19 14:22:52

‘Ha ha good one. We’ll see you at some point but not hosting this year’ and leave it at that

Travis1 Sun 13-Oct-19 14:23:43

Or depending how much you want to keep the relationship going haha fuck off’

Grainedmonkey Sun 13-Oct-19 14:25:48

OP what has happened in previous years?

LionsTigersAndBearsAndPandas Sun 13-Oct-19 14:26:03

fedup21 I won't be cooking a Christmas Dinner for them. Think dh is on my side, he just told me what his dad said and hasn't given me a proper answer though
BravoStrong I know but when it comes to cooking he won't put the effort in. Unless I want frozen pizza for dinner I end up cooking.

SmudgeButt Sun 13-Oct-19 14:26:07

"Hi -Arse- FiL! Happy to have you here on Saturday after Christmas when we'll be having turkey curry made with the leftovers! Please be sure you're promptly on time for 5 pm supper as we've got tickets to a show in town for 7 and need to eat quickly."

CuriousaboutSamphire Sun 13-Oct-19 14:26:16

Your DH could just text back that you were thinking about joining him and SMIL, make it an extended family Christmas.

LionsTigersAndBearsAndPandas Sun 13-Oct-19 14:29:05

Grainedmonkey previous years he didn't care about dh. Not until we had our ds. Fil has Christmas day at his house with his step kids. Dh has never been invited for Christmas dinner at his dad's house.

HollowTalk Sun 13-Oct-19 14:29:15

I would just say, "What are you talking about? You always have dinner with X, Y and Z and never invite us. We're having dinner on our own - hope to see you some time over the holidays."

ChikiTIKI Sun 13-Oct-19 14:29:49

Tell him you will host exactly a year after he does smile

BumbleBeee69 Sun 13-Oct-19 14:31:01

No days are available.. Sorry

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