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to think that when it's time to go is NOT the time to start clearing out the car?

(20 Posts)
SueBaroo Tue 14-Aug-07 12:57:03

This is driving me absolutely spare. I've had a number of appointments to keep in the past few weeks, and do my best to get all the kids trussed up and ready for the off in good time.

And EVERY SINGLE TIME, dh pootles about getting himself ready and then when it's the time to set off says 'Right, I'll just sort the car out'

He goes out and spends ten minutes faffing about with music cassettes, crap and carseats which he's just thrown in the boot and I've been late to every single appointment. He does this even if I point blank ask him if the car is ready 30 minutes beforehand.

Am I being totally unreasonable for wanting to stick a rocket up his backside?

RubyRioja Tue 14-Aug-07 12:57:59

Just lie about the time of appointment!

constancereader Tue 14-Aug-07 13:29:53


My dh decides that at exactly the time I think we should be leaving that it is time to clean his teeth.

The annoying thing is that we are never really late, we still generally arrive just on time and he gets all smug. Meanwhile I am stressed to the max.

littlemisssensible Tue 14-Aug-07 13:45:09

YANBU. My father and brother are ALWAYS late for everything because they faff around before leaving (and they are both convinced you can drive anywhere in 10 mins!)

We've found over the years that the only solution is to tell them the appointment/party/event starts half an hour before it does!

SueBaroo Tue 14-Aug-07 13:46:15

ahh.. now why didn't I think of that? Cheers girls, I shall remember that for the next time.

misspiggy Tue 14-Aug-07 13:46:19

Believe me, YANBU. DH does the exact same thing!

He will quite happily sit on the PC pratting around on the Internet (me MNing is, of course, Very Important and defintely NOT pratting around ) waiting for me and the DSs to get ready then, when we've all got our shoes on etc he'll decide to sort out the car which is usually like a rubbish skip inside.

As a result we're usually 10-15 mins late which is exactly how long it takes him to do the car. This is why we normally go everywhere in my car as it is always tidy. [smug emoticon]

Eddas Tue 14-Aug-07 13:46:57

YANBU, dh does a similar thing

We decide to go out for the day and he always has to 'just' do this, that and something else first, so our day out starts at midday or so

Farkin annoying BUT at least he does something. I know lots of people who's dh's are about as much use/help as a chocolate teapot I haven't said anything to my dh coz it hasn't made us late, just pisses me off!

In your situation i'd have to give him a slap! Can't you just get everyone else strapped in etc and then yourself and keep tapping your watch or something

Quootiepie Tue 14-Aug-07 13:50:10

DH is exactly the same! I will dress DS (who gets over excited once he has trousers on) and be ready to go and he will say "just going to quickly clean the car" ARGH! DS will be at the stairgate bouncing up and down and squealing the whole time by this time. I just have to take DS to play out the front now while we wait for DH.

SueBaroo Tue 14-Aug-07 13:51:04

Eddas, you've described perfectly what I do do

bran Tue 14-Aug-07 13:58:18

My dh is like this and I have a two-pronged approach.

Firstly, if I'm not that bothered about getting to the destination on time then I let him set the timetable and I just follow him and don't let myself get uptight. Eg when we go to the inlaws I don't mind if we miss the plane, so I resign myself to the possiblity of missing it and let dh book the taxi. When the reality of being late looms I don't try to sort things out, I just say what do you think we should do, and then follow him. I found his tendency to lateness hugely improved once he couldn't rely on me to nag him.

Secondly, if I do care about getting to the destination on time I tell him that the car will be leaving at x time and it's up to him to be sitting in the passanger seat on time. I usually tell him things are 15-30 minutes earlier than they actually are. And I never meet him at the final destination or en route somewhere I always go and meet him at his office. I once arranged for him to come to my work so that we could go on somewhere, he was nearly 2 hours late (and drunk) but said it was my fault because I had told him it was 10 mins walk from the tube when he felt it was more like 20 mins. If he's not ready when I need him to be I usually say that I need to leave right away, would he prefer to make his own transport arrangements when he's ready.

Sympathies to you.


My dh decided to start plastering the front room last weekend, just afetr I said "right I want to leave in 20mins". I then looked at him as I couldn't believe he was really mixing plaster - he then shouted at me for looking at him, cue a big arguement and he didn't talk to me for the day. Bliss.

I think its a man thing.

barbamama Tue 14-Aug-07 16:34:42

Mine does this too - I think it is something weird about how their brains work - they are such faffers. Invariably, as I am strapping ds into carseat, bags packed in boot, key in ignition, mine decides he needs to go for a poo before we set off thus making us a minimum if 15 minutes late. If I leave it to him we would never get out of the house before 4pm. I too bring the time of appointments forward if it is something I care about or wait until he is in the car first if not.

lizziemun Tue 14-Aug-07 16:36:49


I have this probelm so now i just tell DH any appointments time are 30min before they are.

scienceteacher Tue 14-Aug-07 16:40:02

My hubby thinks it's time to deep clean the kitchen when we are about to leave.

MaureenMLove Tue 14-Aug-07 16:43:13

Mine does this all the time. We can be packed and ready for a holiday and he says 'we'll just run the car through the car wash on the way out!' Why? It'll be filthy again when we reach out destination?

Katy44 Tue 14-Aug-07 16:50:42

Mine feels the need to hoover the car before we go anywhere
Why?? We can just stand on the crumbs, works fine in my car

sparklesandwine Tue 14-Aug-07 16:57:50

YANBU sounds like they all do it

my dp doesn't do the cleaning of the car its the garden with him we're all packed and ready to go out for the day then he decides he needs to fill up the bird feeders and he needs to water the pots before we leave WHY?? WHY??

it really annoys me as we are then late and it somehow seems to be my fault

stripeymama Tue 14-Aug-07 17:06:15

My ex used to do it too. BUT... if he had to be anywhere he'd never ever remember until the last minute and then shout at everyone else for "making him late". I did try keeping track of all his arrangements for a while but then he complained I was "turning into his mum". Ooh just thinking about it makes me cross...

Flibbertyjibbet Tue 14-Aug-07 17:07:03

Where do I get one that will clean out the car before we go out??? I want one, I want one!!!

DP is a builder and I always arrive everywhere covered in dust and rubble

bookwormtailmum Tue 14-Aug-07 17:21:41

My dp cleans out the car whilst I get myself ready in the flat. He's more likely to be sitting there tapping the steering wheel than me. Mind when he does flap around, he flaps. Drives me mad then .

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