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To be angry with DH? AIBU.

(242 Posts)
OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 00:54:50

We are supposed to be going away for the weekend tomorrow with our DC’s (primary aged). We have a 180 mile trip at 10am tomorrow. He told me he was going out for a meal and a few drinks for his friends birthday - which is fine - I waved them off at 7 this evening. It’s now approaching 1am and he isn’t home - he has decided to drink until the pubs close. He doesn’t go out often with friends , yet when he does he always takes it too far (drinks wise) - as in coming home very very drunk.

He will be home shortly and he will most likely just collapse on the sofa - but my point is he will still be over the limit tomorrow which isn’t safe for anyone. I’m furious as we are supposed to be going away with extended family also in the morning.

Please tell me how to handle this situation.

MotherofTerriers Fri 11-Oct-19 00:57:43

Could you set off without him, leave him to sober up and then join you by train?

loobywench Fri 11-Oct-19 00:59:22

I'd be furious too! Are you saying he should be driving? Could you not drive?

outherealone Fri 11-Oct-19 01:03:01

Ignore him tonight let him sleep until you need him up then expect him to manage and deal with his inevitable hangover. Treat him as normal tomorrow and give him the same responsibilities as he’d have if he hadn’t been drinking. He will be safe to drive later in the day, can you do the first leg? . If not leave a little later. Coffee in the morning water tonight. Here’s a safe to drive calculator

QueenoftheDay Fri 11-Oct-19 01:05:35

Guessing you don’t drive then?

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:05:52

I’m so angry, I wish he didn’t come back here tonight. Was a little family break. I can drive but I’m not insured on his car - so yeah technically he is the only driver.

QueenoftheDay Fri 11-Oct-19 01:06:38

Phone up and get insured. Come on, don’t let him spoil it.

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:07:07

I could get day insurance I guess but I don’t really want to do that. His mum is coming in our car too. My family are setting out at 10.

QueenoftheDay Fri 11-Oct-19 01:07:14

180 miles is a long way for one person to drive alone anyway is it not?

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:08:06

I’m not going to let him spoil it but this is where I go wrong in our relationship and turn it in to a huge argument and I don’t know how to avoid this! He will not acknowledge he is in the wrong.

QueenoftheDay Fri 11-Oct-19 01:08:28

What’s the alternative though? Either you put yourself on the insurance, you let people down or what, he drives over the limit?

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:08:48

It’s a 3 hour drive - we stop off at service stations.

lovesapinot Fri 11-Oct-19 01:08:48

Just give him
Loads of water abs coffee and let him sleep till the last minute.

I'd be pissed too but it doesn't have to be a disaster?

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:09:33

I’ll drive tomorrow. Don’t want to be near him right now. So angry !!!!!

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:10:12

No, I guess not. I guess writing about it stops me from overreacting !

lovesapinot Fri 11-Oct-19 01:10:13

Just give him
Loads of water and coffee and let him sleep till the last minute.

I'd be pissed too but it doesn't have to be a disaster?

Try to be cool as I imagine with a hangover it may cause him to react badly.

Think of the end goal - the weekend away.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:10:30

Get insurance and leave him at home. Driving 180 miles yourself is nothing.

QueenoftheDay Fri 11-Oct-19 01:10:38

Not unreasonable at all to be angry though. I’d be raging too

QueenoftheDay Fri 11-Oct-19 01:11:16

Fair enough I have never driven 180 miles and thought it would be longer than three hours. I stand corrected.

lovesapinot Fri 11-Oct-19 01:14:52

Is he home OP?

Derbee Fri 11-Oct-19 01:15:47

I’m not comfortable with the assumption that the man is responsible for all the driving, personally. But I guess in your situation, I’d be pissed off

BlueBirdGreenFence Fri 11-Oct-19 01:16:12

I wouldn't be too bothered about this but a) doing all the driving wouldn't bother me and b) it's the done thing in our circle to stay until to kicking out time. I'd assume something happened if they were home before it.

Derbee Fri 11-Oct-19 01:16:33

Do you have a breathaliser? We’ve got one from driving on the continent. It’s handy for situations like this

OverThinker0507 Fri 11-Oct-19 01:17:12

He got home 10 mins ago. I’m annoyed, I opened the door, I said “how much you have to drink”, he goes “7 pints, I’ll be fine in morning”. I said yeah okay sleep downstairs. And he goes “it was my friends birthday, no one else has gone home to this”. Ahhhh..... Men.

lovesapinot Fri 11-Oct-19 01:18:45

OP has stated she's not insured ?

Just let him sleep it off abd regret in morning.

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