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AIBU?

To be annoyed by commuters ignoring 'baby on board'?

354 replies

puffingalong · 10/10/2019 07:02

I think the title summarises my gripe. The baby on board badge is not really working (sometimes it does, but not at rush hour and not the majority of the time). I could believe that the badge isn't noticeable enough, I don't think it's difficult in my case when you include my ginormous bump (I'm 7 months and my bump is on the large side, the rest of me pretty small).

In my experience, the majority of people sitting in the seats for disabled/pregnant/elderly people just don't bother looking up to check if anyone else needs those seats more than them.

I know I could ask for a seat but I'm too British! Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

OP posts:
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CodenameVillanelle · 10/10/2019 07:03

Ask for the seat. Nobody is looking at your badge and if they were looking at you they would notice the bump anyway. Just ask!

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Guavaf1sh · 10/10/2019 07:04

You need to ask

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Bigbopboo · 10/10/2019 07:04

You have to ask am afraid. People are not necessarily ignoring you, they may just not have noticed.

I used to aim my question at a group rather than targeting an individual.

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DirtyWindow · 10/10/2019 07:06

Unless it's obvious that they've seen the badge and ignored it, you don't need to shame people, you just need to ask.

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pigglypug · 10/10/2019 07:08

Yes you need to ask. When the tube is really busy, it's really hard to see any further than the people right in front of you when you're sitting down. I was recently on crutches so I'm very conscientious about offering the priority seats to someone who needs them, but it can be really hard to spot people when you're sitting down. I also agree with directing the question to a group as you never know if others sitting down may need the seats too.

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AmIThough · 10/10/2019 07:08

You can't shame people sitting in those seats because they may need them more than you.

Just ask, if you really need the seat.

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pigglypug · 10/10/2019 07:09

Oh and as @DirtyWindow says, please don't shame people. It's not their fault if they haven't noticed or couldn't see, and it'll just make you look like a dick. Just ask politely if anyone would let you sit down.

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DappledThings · 10/10/2019 07:09

Just ask. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

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TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:09

When you need it, you ask.

It’s what we did pre-badges. It’s what people who seriously cannot stand do (disability or pregnancy).

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Passthecherrycoke · 10/10/2019 07:09

Yes you need to ask. I always preferred to stand when pregnant (it hurt to sit) and I was offered quite a lot and said no thanks.

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Sondor · 10/10/2019 07:11

Yeah, I had one of those and no one would ever get up. I’m pretty shy but by the end of my pregnancy I had no problems just asking people for the seats. I would always preface the request with “If you don’t need the accessible seat...” just in case they had an invisible condition. No one ever refused when directly asked.

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Auramigraine · 10/10/2019 07:11

to be fair, when I used public transport, if I had to sit in one of those seats I would always always look at anyone coming on the bus to see if they needed the seat, and would have given it up straight away. I always felt uncomfortable sitting in them and wouldn’t unless I had to.

YANBU but I think people these days are just too ignorant to realise.

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Yaflamingalah · 10/10/2019 07:11

To be honest when I was that pregnant I didn’t give a crap about being ‘too British’ I just used to ask for a seat! On the other hand most of the time I see people falling over themselves to offer up seats to pregnant/disabled/elderly. I suppose it depends on the line - I use the Central line.

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Passthecherrycoke · 10/10/2019 07:12

I don’t think they’re ignorant just more likely to be looking at their phone and not paying attention.

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Damntheman · 10/10/2019 07:12

You've definitely got to ask, I'm sorry. People just aren't looking. Yes, a lot of commuters are rude AF but most of them will not be able to refuse a direct request.

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cockcrowfarm · 10/10/2019 07:12

Just ask, say excuse me and gesture to the seat. Your comfort is your responsibility! Not all pregnant woman want to sit everytime, i had quite a few occasions when i was offered a seat and didn't need it either because I was talking to friends or only on for one stop do not worth the effort of hoisting myself out of it Grin

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CormacMcLaggen · 10/10/2019 07:12

Has anyone found any fun shaming tactics for this situation?

Fun shaming tactics? Nice.

Like PP have said you just need to ask. Others can't read your mind, I doubt they're actively ignoring you, just in a world of their own (like I'd be, but I wouldn't mind moving at all if you asked).

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Isleepinahedgefund · 10/10/2019 07:13

You will have to ask.

People will step over an unconscious person on the tube rather than stop and help, so I'm not surprised they ignore the badges

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IVflytrap · 10/10/2019 07:13

You should ask. Sometimes people are just half asleep or daydreaming. It isn't anything personal.

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CurryAndCobra · 10/10/2019 07:14

Just ask! Nobody has time to scan for badges. And don't be put off if they refuse. Just ask the next one. You never know what the other person's battle is.

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greytminds · 10/10/2019 07:14

Definitely just ask. I did a lot of train travel when pregnant but apart from one guy being really unhelpful and refusing to move so I could get to my pre-booked seat, I found that people were on the whole happy to move and sometimes half a dozen people would spring up out of their seats.
I also shamelessly took my coat off so bump was clearly visible (although I was always boiling, so did need to anyway)

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HariboLecter · 10/10/2019 07:14

You have to ask, as above ask a group rather than one person.
Please also remember not every disability is visble, so some people sat in the priority seats may very much need them. Of course they may not...

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TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:14

The idea that shaming is “fun” is really a bit disturbing. Especially from someone to shy to just ask Confused

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TottieandMarchpane · 10/10/2019 07:15

^TOO shy.

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Soontobe60 · 10/10/2019 07:16

What's all this about a badge? Is it like one of those birthday badges? A badge sounds a bit childish to me 🤷🏼‍♀️
If you need to sit down, you should ask. And lose the badge!

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