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AIBU to be angry at being asked to leave doctors

(142 Posts)
user1496231209 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:23:05

I've just got home from a nightmare appointment at the doctors and Im so angry/upset I burst into tears when I got in.
I was waiting for an appointment when my 14 month old DD started screaming. I was walking around trying to calm her down while waiting for our name to pop up and she kept stopping and starting.
Cue the stares and mutters and tuts from others which was making me incredibly anxious.
Next thing I know the receptionist comes to me and 'suggests' that I take my daughter out of the surgery and to walk her around the block but she'll get me when my doctor is ready which will be in 10 mins.
I've got severe psoriasis which is made worst by the cold but I was so shocked that I just agreed and left.
After being left outside for 20 mins I go back in to find out that the receptionist alerted the wrong doctor and therefore I've been left outside for no reason.

I'm then told my doctor is running late hence why I was left for so long but there was no notice of this as there usually is until 5 mins after I've sat down leading me to believe they've had to try and squeeze me in making everyone else late

Not sure if it's unreasonable to complain or if my anxiety and pain is making everything worst

Stephminx Wed 09-Oct-19 11:27:54

I’m not sure I fully get what you’re saying, but I often find a little walk outside calms my baby down so that was a good suggestion (unless you were ordered out I’d say you’re overreacting to someone trying to help).

Being left outside is not great but I’d have checked periodically to make sure they remembered I was there.

Being late is the norm at any drs nowadays, whether it’s a scheduled appointment or a last minute squeeze in.

It will come down to the receptionist’s tone with you but from the bare facts I think you’re overreacting here. Sorry.

BlackCatSleeping Wed 09-Oct-19 11:28:46

To me it sounds like a very minor thing. I know it's stressful when you're in that situation with a crying child though.

Did you see a doctor in the end?

20viona Wed 09-Oct-19 11:28:58

I don't see the issue here. She suggest a walk outside to calm the baby (often this works) I think YABU.

user1496231209 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:30:56

I think the reason why I was so upset was because I was at the doctors specifically for a condition made worst by the cold weather but it was still 'suggested' that I go outside

RatherBeRiding Wed 09-Oct-19 11:31:53

But did you get to see your doctor, even if late? Its a major pain when GPs run very late, but it does happen unfortunately.

BlackCatSleeping Wed 09-Oct-19 11:32:26

But, you could have declined. The receptionist isn't a doctor so might not have know your condition is exacerbated by the cold.

user1496231209 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:33:01

Due to my anxiety I didn't feel I could decline. Surely those who work in a doctors should be mindful of this?

popehilarious Wed 09-Oct-19 11:34:01

It wasn't the doctor recommending you go outside as a cure though, was it? You understand it was the receptionist suggesting it as a way to make the waiting room more tolerable for everyone else?

I'm not sure what you mean about the wrong doctor, you'd have been waiting whatever, wouldn't you?

AllFourOfThem Wed 09-Oct-19 11:34:18

I think the reason why I was so upset was because I was at the doctors specifically for a condition made worst by the cold weather but it was still 'suggested' that I go outside did you tell the receptionist this? Despite it being suggested to go outside, you could have said no.

I think YABU although I appreciate how a screaming baby and walking difficulties can make things seem overwhelming and more upsetting.

user1496231209 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:34:59

Thank you everyone. I did just need to see it from a neutral perspective. I probably did overreact x

quincejamplease Wed 09-Oct-19 11:35:04

She didn't know why you were there and you didn't have to go outside or stand outside in the cold waiting.

Nothing you've described made me think you were told to stand outside until called.

It comes across like you were feeling anxious and have started mind reading intentions that aren't there.

GeneHuntLover Wed 09-Oct-19 11:35:30

Do you never go outside in the cold?

grumpypregnanttired Wed 09-Oct-19 11:35:50

Other than telling the wrong doctor, I don’t think she did anything wrong - sorry! Doctors waiting rooms can be very tense and full of anxious, frightened and upset people who need a calm environment. Suggesting you take your child for a little walk and offering to come and get you was, I think, quite a good idea?

Hesafriendfromwork Wed 09-Oct-19 11:36:06

The receptionist is unlikely to know exactly why you are there and what makes it worse.

I dont think she asked you to leave.

I think she thought she was helping. Suggesting you could take the baby outside and she would let you know. She may have thought you wanted to do that but cojldnt due to wait for your appointment.

The receptionist would not know you have anxiety that bad that you cant say no.

Piffle11 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:36:07

YANBU. Anyone with a baby knows how stressful it is when they start crying and you can't calm them … it' the tuts and eye rolls of those around us that stress us more than anything. I know a screaming or crying baby isn't pleasant to be around, but most of us know what it's like to be the parent, and a little compassion wouldn't go amiss! And for them to suggest you go outside, and then screw up your appointment … dealing with a crying baby and getting seen on time is bad enough, but dealing with it AND then finding out that they've messed up can be massively frustrating. I wouldn't bother complaining, as I doubt you will get very far.

BlackCatSleeping Wed 09-Oct-19 11:37:49

I'm sympathetic and I do understand how hard it is when you are struggling with a crying baby. I do just think the receptionist was trying to be helpful and didn't know the cold worsened your condition. I don't think it's worth complaining about. Hope you are feeling ok now.

NoSauce Wed 09-Oct-19 11:38:03

Are you in the UK? It’s not that cold surely?

Sorry you had a crap morning though, hope you’re feeling a bit calmer now.

onalongsabbatical Wed 09-Oct-19 11:38:38

Due to my anxiety I didn't feel I could decline. Surely those who work in a doctors should be mindful of this? I really sympathise, OP, I really do and I understand why you're upset, but I don't think receptionists can be worrying whether they're going to trigger a person's anxiety with a request because it would basically mean they could never ask anyone to do anything. The issue is were you asked kindly or ordered to do it I think. I'm so sorry your psoriasis is making you suffer though, it's horrible I know.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 09-Oct-19 11:39:50

Due to my anxiety I didn't feel I could decline. Surely those who work in a doctors should be mindful of this?

People who work in a doctors have to be mindful of everyone, with all manner of illnesses and conditions. Perhaps the receptionist was trying to be mindful of the autistic child who's triggers include screaming babies or the pregnant lady who's come in suffering with cluster migraines...

Sashkin Wed 09-Oct-19 11:42:02

I think the reason why I was so upset was because I was at the doctors specifically for a condition made worst by the cold weather but it was still 'suggested' that I go outside

There is no way the receptionist knew this. Fuck, I’m a doctor and my husband has psoriasis and I didn’t know that (his isn’t worsened by the cold at all, and I’m not a dermatologist).

Due to my anxiety I didn't feel I could decline. Surely those who work in a doctors should be mindful of this?

Again, the receptionist has no idea you have anxiety. They know no more about your medical history than a member of the public. It was a suggestion, not an order - sounds like they were trying to be helpful, in a slightly hamfisted way.

Andsoltbegins Wed 09-Oct-19 11:43:43

I was told to take my 10 week screaming unwell ds outside (it was pouring) once because the receptionist couldn’t hear anyone on the phone
I told her no she was unreason

Andsoltbegins Wed 09-Oct-19 11:44:02


Hahaha88 Wed 09-Oct-19 11:44:12

Yes yabu to complain. Your kid was screaming (as kids unfortunately do do at times) nothing you were doing was working. It's common decency to take your baby out of the situation and it usually does help the lo. The receptionist doesn't know why everyone there is there and you could have explained the situation and asked to wait in an empty room instead. And if your anxiety is so bad you couldn't say that how come you think it would cope with you complaining

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Wed 09-Oct-19 11:44:44

Just be mindful.of where you are. A lot of us have been that mother with the screaming baby and do sympathise, however, a doctor's surgery is full.if different people with differing issues.

Whilst I get you may be anxious, there could be people in there waiting for test results or who are feeling ill, who deserve consideration too.

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