To want to wallow in self pity(7 Posts)
Am I being unreasonable to want to wallow in self pity after having had all of this happen in the last 3 years: 2 ectopic pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, a marriage on the rocks probably due to stress, had to put my father in a nursing home with severe dementia and lost my wonderful mam earlier this year very suddenly to cancer!!!!
On the up side though, I now have a beautiful one year old girl who's the light of my life.
Life can't all be bad!!!!
you have every right to feel that life has given you the shitty end of the stick to hold...congrats on coping and having a beautiful little girl too
Lisa that is a lot to go through in 3 years, i assume you talk to dh about it? if not have you tried a councellor, just to get things off your chest.
like you say though take joy in your wonderful dd and think that life isn't all bad.
I have been seeing a therapist recently and i am prone to 'ignoring the positive' and thus thinking everything is crap! Examples are, dh did not fetch the washing in from the garden when he got home from work so i think 'you NEVER do anything, you always sooooo lazy' when he actually cooks every night, cleans the kitchen, is installing my new bathroom single handedly....i am ignoring the positive.
Try and list the positives and celebrate them....
otherwise get dh to have DD for the day and go to a health spa and chill.....
wallow all you like, although enjoy your wonderful little girl they get big so quick!
You are not unreasonable to wallow in self-pity, no. But it will not help you feel better either.
You have had a rough ride in a short time, but you have a wonderful little girl, who I am sure is more important than all those things. It's difficult but self-pity can become toxic and as I say, won't help you feel better and more positive about the future.
Think about how lucky you are for the things you do have if you can, rather than how unlucky you are. Think about how bad some people have it, if that helps, it may do or may not.
But most of all keep looking at your daughter and reminding yourself of how lucky you are to have her and how much of a positive future you have to share with her.
Ah, wise words and thank you all for your comments.
Thankfully, I can talk to my husband, it's just a shame that we are also not getting on very well, probably as a result of my stress levels! Don't mind taking responsibility for that. Meeely2, you're right, councelling probably would be good, but unfortunately, whaen I did ask for some when I lost my 4 pregnancies, the only councelling on offer was from a general councellor who I didn't think would understand, particularly the fertility problems. So, I gave up on that idea but maybe I should think about it again.
I do know that there are lots of positive things in my life, especially my daughter and I know that there are so many people in the world with a lot more than me to complain about, but somehow that doesn't really help. Think I just need to feel sorry for myself for a while and then give myself a huge kick up the backside and get on with it!!!
YANBU. You are grieving for the babies you lost, your Mum, and the Dad who is no longer the person you knew. No wonder you feel like this. Good luck.
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