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Was I wrong to ask for Costa points?

(148 Posts)
Alldaygraze Mon 23-Sep-19 15:19:57

I was in the queue in Costa yesterday and the person in front of me ordered a lot of things for about 6 people, it came to around £40. The man serving asked if she had a points card/app and she said no. I couldn’t help myself doing this and have never done this before!!! shock
I asked “would you mind if I used my Costa card for your transaction as it’s a lot of points?” She looked at me like I’d asked for her firstborn, then looked at the barista open mouthed and then at her purse carrying on paying.

I said “Sorry I shouldn’t have asked I do apologise if I’ve annoyed you” and she just did a weird passive aggressive smile, raised her eyebrows and shook her head. It’s actually really hard to describe what she did without her saying any words but I got the impression she was very taken aback, embarrassed and offended.

She went to her table with her family or whoever they were and I ordered my drink and walked out. No one said anything but on the way out I passed their table and her and (I presume) I DH stared at me with daggers.

Ok help- I feel awful now and not sure if this is just not the done thing but like I said it was spontaneous and I didn’t want those points to go to ‘waste’ if you know what I mean? Prepared to get my arse handed to me!

EmAreSea Mon 23-Sep-19 15:21:03

Wouldn’t have bothered me...

OtraCosaMariposa Mon 23-Sep-19 15:23:24

It's a bit weird and grabby...

BeanBag7 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:23:27

I wouldnt have minded if you asked me for my points, but I'm the sort of person who will start a conversation with a stranger in a queue, on the bus etc. Which some people find really weird

incontrolofmyownlife Mon 23-Sep-19 15:25:24

I work in retail and we have a loyalty card scheme.

It really annoys me when a customer declines my offer of one and then another customer in the queue asks for their loyalty stamps 🤷‍♀️ don't know why!

thecatsthecats Mon 23-Sep-19 15:26:38

I'm ok on conversations with people in queues (in fact the whole of my local coffee house all got in on how sweaty I was when I nipped in on the way back from a run).

But this would have just seemed so odd to me, to be asked out of nowhere. Seems very cheeky and 'scammy'. Like asking a stranger for one of their chips.

I mean you get points as a bonus for YOUR loyalty. Not because you happened to stand behind someone making a big purchase.

easyandy101 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:27:13

The person in front of me in the coffee shop offered me their stamps when they did a big order, was a free coffee worth of stamps, which was pretty cool

I've never asked for them. Wouldn't bother me if someone asked but I wouldn't give them. I have about 2 weeks worth of coffee stamp cards at any one time in case of poverty


Gatehouse77 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:27:16

I'd have given them to you if it was for somewhere I don't have a reward card for. Equally, I've turned to the person behind to ask if they want the points/offer, etc.

But, as a PP said, I'll strike up conversation with anyone if I'm in the mood. Drives the kids batty 😄

Kitchendiscodiva Mon 23-Sep-19 15:27:53

Don't blame you asking. What a weird response ! They had nothing to lose. Personally, I hate Costa, boring, chainy and lacking any atmosphere. grin

PolPotNoodle Mon 23-Sep-19 15:27:58

I sometimes offer my points to whoever's behind me if I'm not under a particular scheme (which I usually am..) but would probably be really irritated if someone interrupted my transaction to ask for them.

greenlavender Mon 23-Sep-19 15:28:49

I find that so granny

greenlavender Mon 23-Sep-19 15:29:08


Alldaygraze Mon 23-Sep-19 15:31:15

Thanks for replies, seems it might not bother some people but those that it does find it grabby and scammy, in which case I understand her reaction.

@easyandy101 that was nice of them to offer. And I’ve actually had people offer in the past in different shops over the years, and had the staff member offer if the person has left and they’ve added their points to me.

LOL @Kitchendiscodiva but their frostinos are to die for grin

Biggie123 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:32:21

I don;t lime signing up to places but hate it when points just go to waste. I offer them out/would be happy to give them away.
She would of lost absolutely nothing.

Alldaygraze Mon 23-Sep-19 15:32:24

Yes @Gatehouse77 same, I’ve offered before if I don’t have a card. It’s nice that SOMEONE gets the points.

MummBraTheEverLeaking Mon 23-Sep-19 15:32:30

It does seem a waste but up to her. I wouldn't have minded if it was somewhere I didn't have a card for and wasn't bothered about getting one. The whole head shake and daggers at you is not nice though, you can decline a cheeky offer without acting like a total bitch.

Jaxhog Mon 23-Sep-19 15:32:36

I offer mine too. I think asking was slightly pushy though. But then I'm British.

LadyGrey1013 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:32:49

You were really polite so not BU to ask! If I haven't got an app/loyalty card to somewhere, i'll always ask the person behind me if they do so that they can get the points. It's absolutely fine if she didn't want to let you have the points that she wasn't going to take but there was no need for her/her DH to be a dick about it. I get the feeling that maybe she didn't understand what was being asked - maybe she thought it was some weird payment fraud thing happening. Don't feel bad OP - there's is seldom any harm in a polite ask. flowers

Biggie123 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:33:05

But then i've been known to have spare vouchers for 241 meals etc and give them out to people in resturants!

VladmirsPoutine Mon 23-Sep-19 15:33:23

I don't think yabu but her reaction was over the top. Just say no thanks and get on with it. That said, it's better to be offered than to ask. e.g. someone asked me in Sainsbury's once, I do have a nectar card but it just wasn't with me at that moment and I was going to keep the receipt then top up when I was next back in store. You didn't commit a crime but best not to be so brave again OP!

Becles Mon 23-Sep-19 15:33:48

I'd have asked too.

NoSauce Mon 23-Sep-19 15:35:30

It’s fine. Weird reaction from her.

AndSheWas85 Mon 23-Sep-19 15:36:32

Nah, wouldn't bother me. I'm not losing out and someone will get a few extra points.
Good deed for the day done.
Her rolling eye reaction and giving you daggers was slightly twatish.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz Mon 23-Sep-19 15:37:40

Kudos OP, I always wish I had the balls to do this kind of thing. Likewise if I'm paying and there's points or similar up for grabs but not ones I'm collecting I'll ask the cashier to give them to the next customer if they're allowed, and say it whilst looking at the shopper behind me IYSWIM?

Brefugee Mon 23-Sep-19 15:38:31

I'm another one who always offers loyalty points to the person behind me if I don't have a card. Not sure I'd ask but now you know!

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