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for being really hacked off with dps sister

(18 Posts)
tearsndtantrums Sat 11-Aug-07 13:39:57

who keeps calling me lazy?

ok i dont get out much but ive really been trying this week and have had great fun with my 10 month old. going to the park or for walks etc.

anyway last night i went out with a friend didnt get trashed or anything but this morning i had a bit of a wonky belly. anyhoo dp took our son with him to do the park checks he didnt mind and i didnt ask him to.

so his sister phones up and asks where ds is. i told her he was with his dad and i was about to go back to bed. she then said i was lazy and obviously because i sit on my arse all day at the pc my body got a shock when it actually was motivated.

now this isnt the first time shes said this and tbh its pissing me right off. she always has to say something about me not going out much and its usually along the lines of lazy fat cow.

im trying so hard to get out more and even walked into the town with her the other day. ive been out with ds everyday this week and i hope to continue to do so. so far ive been biting my tounge but im getting hacked of with it especially since she screamed at me after i made a joke about her learning to drive. but im not sure what to do about it. she doesnt say it in a jokey way actually its quite nasty.

am i bu about this or overreacting? what would be the best way to approach it?

btw i dont actually sit at the pc all day.

EscapeFrom Sat 11-Aug-07 13:42:07

next time she rings up - tell her her brother isn't there, but you'd be happy to take a message. No message to leave? Bye then! Just stop associating with her, you don't have to please this woman.

moondog Sat 11-Aug-07 13:42:48

There is only one answer.


belgo Sat 11-Aug-07 13:46:01

agree with Moondog

fairyjay Sat 11-Aug-07 13:50:03

She sounds a right bitch!

Tell her to get lost - but if she drives, be careful not to run anyone over

tearsndtantrums Sat 11-Aug-07 13:51:38

the thing is though she lives across the street and has my son for me when i have appointments or my side is playing up. shes great in that way but i really cant take much more of her calling me lazy at 9am in the morning (7am weekdays)

i havent told dp about it yet as i dont want him thinking im causing trouble. but its really grating on me now.

AngharadGoldenhand Sat 11-Aug-07 13:53:27

If she lives across the street and phones to ask where ds is, rather than walking across to find out, she's lazy!

fairyjay Sat 11-Aug-07 13:54:33

OK - on the basis that you really don't want to wind her up. Next time you are on your own, get her over for a coffee, and explain that you really are trying to get your life/routine/plans together, and maybe you are over-reacting, but you find it extremely hurtful when she makes comments about you being lazy.

Does she have children? Does she know what hard work a little one can be?

At least then you will know that she makes any further comments in the knowledge she is upsetting you - and maybe at that point you review letting her help you.

ladymac Sat 11-Aug-07 13:54:45

I agee with Escape. Just be business like with her and no more.

Just because you are married to her brother doesn't mean she gets a say in how you live your life.

tearsndtantrums Sat 11-Aug-07 13:55:02

pmsl i never thought of it like that.

although saying that i wouldnt really want her or anyone else knocking me up at 7am lol

tearsndtantrums Sat 11-Aug-07 13:58:25

fairyjay she has 3 children and she is very active with them. but i do have issues with going out by myself which she knows. i have a homestart volunteer once a week to help me get out the house so im not bone idle and i really have been trying this week.

even if i just take ds to the shop we have stopped in the park on the way back or walked the long way round so he can see more things if that makes sense?

ladymac Sat 11-Aug-07 13:59:05

Ok, X-posted so didn't realise she babysits.

Is there anyone else who can babysit for you? It seems to me like it might be an idea to put some distance between you.

moondog Sat 11-Aug-07 13:59:19

What issues re gonig out do you have then?

tearsndtantrums Sat 11-Aug-07 14:02:48

moondog i dont know how to explain it. its not agorophobia (is that the one?) its more being outside alone with cade (my son) and worrying something bad will happen. its a stupid irrational fear but im working on it.

yes i have thought about getting someone else to have cade when its needed i think that would be best.

potoftea Sat 11-Aug-07 14:07:57

You are obviously struggling with some problems, and trying to deal with this as best you can. She is not helping or supporting you, and is in fact a negative effect on your life.

You are putting the effort into sorting yourself out, and would maybe be better without her in your life at the moment.

Either try to confront her and tell her you are not open to such comments from her, or else avoid her until you are strong enough to cope with her rudeness.

Good luck.

McEdam Sat 11-Aug-07 14:31:05

Could you persuade dp to have a very firm word with her? Very businesslike and unemotional, just tell her the way she speaks to you is very hurtful and you would both like her to stop.

moondog Sat 11-Aug-07 14:33:38

Oh in that case,her words are even meaner.

tearsndtantrums Sat 11-Aug-07 14:59:20

well ive told my dp and he was livid. he said hes going to have words tonight as its bang out of order.

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