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To not understand women who go with married men?

(356 Posts)
Pennypringles Sun 22-Sep-19 16:31:42

I know I'm old fashioned and have a really strong moral compass but I just don't understand it!
Obviously I know it takes two to tango and all that but I would never go with someone's husband however much "his wife doesn't understand him".

WestEndWendie Sun 22-Sep-19 16:32:44

Anyone in particular in mind OP or are you just generalising?

MrsNotNice Sun 22-Sep-19 16:33:54


SandraOhshair Sun 22-Sep-19 16:34:52

Nope, I've flirted / had a mutual attraction with a guy. But once I found out they were married, it was like a switch was flicked.

I just dont understand once you know you could just plough on like they were fair game?

Aridane Sun 22-Sep-19 16:35:06

I know I'm old fashioned and have a really strong moral compass but I just don't understand it!
*Obviously I know it takes two to tango and all that but I would never go with someone's husband however much "his wife doesn't understand him".

I know I'm old fashioned and have a really strong moral compass but I just don't understand it!
Obviously I know it takes two to tango and all that but I would never go with someone else as I'm married, however much the woman said no one need ever know, it's just casual sex etc

Aridane Sun 22-Sep-19 16:35:35

(bold fail above)

Pennypringles Sun 22-Sep-19 16:35:56

I'm recently separated as my husband has OW. It's recently happened to a few of my good friends too. But really just generalising. I just don't understand why a woman would do that to another woman.
I'm the kind of person who gets really cross when someone in a soap has an affair 🤣

OpiesOldLady Sun 22-Sep-19 16:36:08

What about marroed men who ho after other women? Or should they not be held accountable?

Aridane Sun 22-Sep-19 16:37:13

I don't understand why people cheat - OW tends to be the target of misguided ire. She didn't take vows, he did . He's the shit, she less so

lakeloveragain Sun 22-Sep-19 16:38:00

Why do married men go with another woman is what you need to be asking.

Fraggling Sun 22-Sep-19 16:39:33

Human beings are a bit rubbish, often.

There are lots of reasons people have affairs.

Men as well as women.

It's always the women blamed on mn though.

Pennypringles Sun 22-Sep-19 16:39:43

Yeah I'm not saying he's not shit. And I'm not saying he's not accountable. I'm not saying it's all the OW fault. I just don't understand how a woman can knowingly enter into a relationship with a married (or involved) man.

PositiveVibez Sun 22-Sep-19 16:41:15

I think if you look deeper than the surface (including also blaming the men as well as OW), I think somewhere along the line, these women will have been damaged by men. Could have been their parent's relationship. Could have been they have been treated badly by a previous partner. They have had to have been to justify it. Imho of course.

Men however, are ruled by their cocks. And blaming the OW for your husband's infidelity, is very narrow sighted.

Fraggling Sun 22-Sep-19 16:41:44

What about a man who knowingly enters a relationship with a married woman?

Loads of married middle aged women in my various workplaces over the years getting off with younger chaps at work. Who is the baddie there? The young chaps by your logic.

I think many would say the woman in that situation as well, funnily enough.

barryfromclareisfit Sun 22-Sep-19 16:44:09

Because he’s hot?

I turn men down because they’re married but not because I owe any allegiance to their wives. If the man has made the decision to have sex outside the marriage, his wife has a quibble with him only.

lakeloveragain Sun 22-Sep-19 16:44:35

You don't know what shit he fed her. They are both to blame but more so the person who made vows to you is more to blame.

Waxonwaxoff0 Sun 22-Sep-19 16:46:32

A friend of mine is seeing a man in a relationship.

She has EXTREMELY low self esteem, she hates the way she looks, she suffers from depression and anxiety, she has a DD whose dad isn't interested in her so she does it all alone. From what I gather the man is flattering her, she thinks he's nice because he pays her compliments etc. Despite me telling her he's not nice or he wouldn't be cheating on his partner.

Not saying any of this makes it right, and I have told her what I think of the situation (also I have met the man once before this started happening and he better hope I don't run into him again as I will tell him what I think of him too).

But I think she has such low self esteem that she is desperate for any kind of affection.

Pennypringles Sun 22-Sep-19 16:46:41

When did I say I was blaming the OW???? I know exactly who is to blame.

Fraggling Sun 22-Sep-19 16:47:24

Agree 100% that unfaithfulness is on the unfaithful party.

If they are open to it, or looking, then eventually they will find someone.

This is a temptress and poor easily led man idea I think. Balls to that.

Fraggling Sun 22-Sep-19 16:49:00

Your op is literally that you don't understand women who 'go after' married men.

Pennypringles Sun 22-Sep-19 16:50:36

No, not go after. Just go with a man when they know he's married.

Sleepyquest Sun 22-Sep-19 16:51:27

I have done this when I was very stupid, selfish and immature and much younger. Now married myself, I would be absolutely distraught if someone went after my DH so I wish I could go back and sort my younger self out!

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo Sun 22-Sep-19 16:52:00

I’ve never been with a married man (except my husbands!) and I never would. But I can see how it would happen. If you had low self-esteem, it’d be amazingly flattering to be “chosen” by a man over his wife. Like you were more powerful, sexier, more desirable than her. I’d like she’d had her chance but had messed it up, meaning it was fine for you to have your go.

All bollocks, obviously, but I could see how it’d happen.

GrumpiestCat Sun 22-Sep-19 16:52:03

NOT from personal experience, I was tempted many moons back as a single 20 something with a rather infatuated colleague. I kicked myself up the arse thankfully and ran a mile. I think it's perhaps because it was/would be intoxicating to be desired so much that someone would risk everything for you. And it would be breaking all the rules and being indulgently selfish, and as an adult we are bound by rules and never get to be selfish usually. I'm sorry you've been poorly treated OP. Blame on both sides in my opinion. You can't give the OW a free pass because of vows. If she knows he is married she's doing something wrong, simple as that.

Wiltshirelass2019 Sun 22-Sep-19 16:54:03

I agree. Women like that love the drama, are selfish, egotistical and frankly pathetic, sad excuses for a human being. They are the lowest scum of all. The husbands involved are even worse.

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