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'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

(232 Posts)
MinxyMoos Sun 22-Sep-19 12:32:18

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

StillCoughingandLaughing Sun 22-Sep-19 12:36:20

She isn’t your friend. I wouldn’t waste time worrying about why she has dropped you and just be glad she has. Life’s too short for this kind of bullshit.

Zebraaa Sun 22-Sep-19 12:37:40

Why would she be jealous of twins? Has she always said she’d wanted them or something?

RickOShay Sun 22-Sep-19 12:38:20

Many congratulations smile
Yes she’s jealous. It’s more to do with how she feels about herself than you as a person. It’s her stuff, not yours. Not a lot you can do unfortunately.
Enjoy your family.

Figgygal Sun 22-Sep-19 12:39:27

Forget about her
She's not your friend

lizzielizard Sun 22-Sep-19 12:39:52

Who needs enemies when you have a friend like that? You absolutely don't need her in your life. How lovely to have your twin baby boys and your little girl. Perfect! Many congratulations.

IfYouWannaComeBack Sun 22-Sep-19 12:42:05

@Zebraaa I think it’s because the friend has always wanted a boy, and OP now has 2 of them

IamMadameX Sun 22-Sep-19 12:42:06

You say she has 2 kids are they both girls as u say she was desperate for a boy?

If so could she be jealous you have boys?

If not and she has a boy/girl then she's a cow and forget about her she's not a friend if puts you down all the time.

BaaBaaBS Sun 22-Sep-19 12:42:18

Sounds like she's done you a massive favour! Saved you the trouble of realising she's a terrible friend, and wondering how to get rid of her yourself. I'd take it if I was you!

Shockers Sun 22-Sep-19 12:46:50

She doesn’t sound very nice, or secure, and tbh, you don’t sound like you really like her character very much either, perhaps with good reason. Is this friendship is better consigned to the history books?

Do you get double maternity leave if you have twins?

ariamontgomery Sun 22-Sep-19 12:47:05

I don’t know if she’s jealous or if she just doesn’t like you but she’s clearly not worth chasing. Something seems up with your friendship anyway - like you mocking how pretty she thinks she is and going on and on about all the reasons she is jealous of you. Is there a chance that this attitude was picked up on by her? Either way, it doesn’t sound like you liked each other much and were more ‘frenemies’ than friends so I’d just let it go and not bother to question why she blocked you. If you like to think it’s because she’s jealous of you then that’s fine. But it doesn’t sound like you were very good friends anyway.

Zebraaa Sun 22-Sep-19 12:48:30

@IfYouWannaComeBack ah ok, I missed that part

onanothertrain Sun 22-Sep-19 12:49:52

She doesn't sound very nice but neither do you. I wonder if she has picked up on your attitude towards her.

BarrenFieldofFucks Sun 22-Sep-19 12:52:39

You don't like each other I'd say, hey ho.

ThatssomebadhatHarry Sun 22-Sep-19 12:53:34

She was never a friend you were the person she could dump on and be shit to to make herself feel better. Your life sound wonderful and happy and now you have 3 beautiful children. Never give her a second though.


SmudgeButt Sun 22-Sep-19 12:53:56

She sounds a complete cow and you should be happy to have been "dumped" - more like a lucky escape!

halloumi2019 Sun 22-Sep-19 12:55:29

Weird friendship, doesn’t sound like you like each other

HeadintheiClouds Sun 22-Sep-19 12:56:08

Am I adding up wrong, or have you just had twins at 50?

halloumi2019 Sun 22-Sep-19 12:56:23

Also colleagues aren’t necessarily your friends, no matter how close you are/how long you’ve known each other. As colleagues the dynamics of friendship will always be different

Sagradafamiliar Sun 22-Sep-19 13:00:13

Maybe she found you a bit....smug and patronising?
Either way, what does it matter? You clearly strongly dislike her. She robbed you the satisfaction of 'dumping' her that's all.

Icecreamsoda99 Sun 22-Sep-19 13:02:13

I had a "friend" like that, she enjoyed "taking me down a peg or two" but it was only "teasing" hmm also if I ever confronted her about her behavior and language to me she cried and made out that I was being unfair and picking on her. Long story short people like this aren't really friends!

supersop60 Sun 22-Sep-19 13:03:29

Congratulations, both on your twins, and on losing a not-friend.

Aridane Sun 22-Sep-19 13:03:53

She sounds unpleasant, you sound smug

halloumi2019 Sun 22-Sep-19 13:04:01

Yep, real friends aren’t in competition with each other like this.

gubbsywubbsy Sun 22-Sep-19 13:04:23

All sounds weird .. I'm intrigued by the double maternity too 🤔

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