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AIBU to take away the ham sandwich?

(200 Posts)
Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall Sun 22-Sep-19 10:29:37

My 8yo has been in a pissy mood all morning (most his life)
And he asked for something to eat so I made him a ham sandwich.
So he moaned why was it ham? I don't want ham. I said tough that's what it is, some people don't even have food so stop whining.
Carried on moaning.
Then started moaning, oh fine I'll have to FORCE MYSELF to eat it then!!!
So I took it off him and ate it myself.

And now he's having a wobbler that he's going to starve and it's all my fault.

Please tell me I wasn't being unreasonable and he's being a brat.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz Tue 24-Sep-19 11:56:50

PMSL at the comments about your attitude, OP. As if these posters have never had a "F it" moment with their kids. Or given a slightly less healthy snack out between meals. And have a fridge so crammed with artisan delights it would give a fancy deli an inferiority complex.

I've clearly a crap attitude too as I'd have done the same. Like you say, he knows where the kitchen is. If DC want to leave it to us they get what they're given grin And honestly if a kid this age can't recover from gentle ribbing from a mum who adores him, he's going to need some serious resilience lessons, sharpish.

On the bright side, those moments when we slightly lose our shit with our pissy offspring DC do give us an opportunity to model another very useful behaviour...telling them we're sorry and what we said and did was wrong. Luckily for DD I'm very imperfect and have a chance to demonstrate this at least weekly!

OP, for the record ham sandwiches are THE BEST. He's absolutely BU!

user1493494961 Tue 24-Sep-19 11:35:59

Ignore the 'making him feel powerless' bollocks, I would have done the same.

notso Tue 24-Sep-19 11:18:09

Need, not greed was the rule in my house. They were fed well balanced, nutritious meals and didn't feel the need to gorge themselves on sandwiches, crisps, chocolate and whatever else they could shove down their throats between meals.
Aside from your making house sounding like some sort of punitive fat camp, you are wildly extrapolating to think a choice of sandwich filling is the same as gorging on unlimited food.
In my house at weekends and school holidays, breakfasts and lunches unless I'm cooking something specific are when people are hungry. There's six of us all who get up and varied times and with varied schedules.
So if one of my kids says their hungry several hours after their breakfast and I make them a sandwich that becomes lunch for them.

echt Tue 24-Sep-19 07:47:35

Children shouldn't need a sandwich between breakfast and lunch. It sets up bad eating habits. Mine were directed to the fruit bowl

So how is eating a sandwich a bad eating habit, but eating fruit isn't?

Fishcakey Tue 24-Sep-19 07:42:57

Kids should eat what they are given unless you know it's something they actively hate so giving it to them is just mean. I would have eaten the sandwich too!

Beautiful3 Tue 24-Sep-19 06:58:46

I always ask what filling mine want before hand.

youarenotkiddingme Tue 24-Sep-19 06:36:39

She didn't snatch the food. Why do people embellish to prove their point?

She made a ham sandwich which in her 8yo refused to eat - so she ate it. 🤷‍♀️

BeepBeeep Mon 23-Sep-19 20:33:56

@NabooThatsWho
Not at all.
It's no wonder kids today are so fat when they can just help themselves, demand or dictate food.
Need, not greed was the rule in my house. They were fed well balanced, nutritious meals and didn't feel the need to gorge themselves on sandwiches, crisps, chocolate and whatever else they could shove down their throats between meals.

BeepBeeep Mon 23-Sep-19 20:29:24

Exactly @Aridane
Mine were never allowed to just help themselves, even fruit.

Aridane Mon 23-Sep-19 19:27:34

What happened to fruit bowls to which children can be directed when they want ‘something to eat’?

What. Happened to telling them to,wait until their next meal!

NabooThatsWho Mon 23-Sep-19 19:13:53

Some people are so fucking controlling over food. It’s like they run concentration boot camps in their home.
Relax....unclench....it’s just food, not a stick to beat your children with.

makingmammaries Mon 23-Sep-19 19:09:06

What happened to fruit bowls to which children can be directed when they want ‘something to eat’? I wouldn’t be asking a kid in a pissy mood what he wanted either. In fact, I’d be making comments about how it won’t be long until dinner.

HappyEverIftar Mon 23-Sep-19 18:56:01

I live in Saudi Arabia and would kill for a ham sandwich. My last was in December last year.

<wanders off topic>

BeepBeeep Mon 23-Sep-19 18:45:27

Mine got what they were given. Eat it or go hungry. That was the choice. Strangely, they chose to eat it.

Beamur Mon 23-Sep-19 13:30:33

Only kidding.
Personally I usually ask the DC to choose a sandwich filling from what's available but wouldn't appreciate histrionics if the 'wrong' sandwich was offered. One of mine moaned (for years) about the single time they accidentally had the sandwich meant for their brother in their lunchbox.
So now I ask grin

Bluntness100 Mon 23-Sep-19 13:25:37

Has the child starved yet?

Yes, good point, that's the barometer by which to check. As long as they don't actually starve. confused

Beamur Mon 23-Sep-19 13:24:33

Has the child starved yet?

Bluntness100 Mon 23-Sep-19 13:21:39

If my child that is old enough to make his own food asked for ‘something to eat’ I would make what I darn please for them to eat.Kids are given too much choice, this is why kids are becoming more bratty, more spoilt and acting more entitled

Gosh, who pissed in your cornflakes? If my child, asked or asks for a sandwich I always say you can have x y or z in it. I don't see it as some form of being put upon, and our home doesn't run on everyone for themselves and fuck the rest.

And my daughter learned from that to do for others, to be kind. Because I led by example.

Aprillygirl Mon 23-Sep-19 13:08:57

Haha I like your style OP. He won't moan about the next thing he's given that's for sure (unless it's something he genuinely dislikes of course, but you wouldn't give it him in that case, I'm sure).

tempnamechange98765 Mon 23-Sep-19 12:38:34

YANBU! That's just the kind of thing I would've done with my 3 year old, oops!

Threads like this always make me feel much better (or worse, depending on how you look at it!) when posters come out with their tales of awful 8 year olds. My threenager doesn't seem anywhere near as bad!

I will remember to do the old "hi Still Hungry, I'm mummy" next time he trots that one 3 x times out after meals (I'm not evil and always offer him snacks as I do believe he's genuinely hungry if he says that, at this age!).

notso Mon 23-Sep-19 12:25:50

If my child that is old enough to make his own food asked for ‘something to eat’ I would make what I darn please for them to eat.
I find this hostile attitude to a persons own family strange.
My kids and husband are not annoying, lazy flat mates I happen to be stuck living with. We're a family, we do things for each other. I want my children to be kind to me so I am kind to them, and unbelievably for some posters, they are kind and helpful. Not entitled or bratty or rude.

JinglingHellsBells Mon 23-Sep-19 09:32:05

Goodness it's no wonder some children are so badly behaved if people think it's acceptable to pander to an 8yo tantrum.

Yes but the OP's behaviour was also like a tantrum- snatching his food and eating it, to make a point.

Children shouldn't need a sandwich between breakfast and lunch. It sets up bad eating habits. Mine were directed to the fruit bowl.

melj1213 Sun 22-Sep-19 22:32:17

I’m surprised at the people saying he should have had a choice or sandwich?

Why? Nobody is saying she has to offer a whole menu, but "If you're hungry you can help yourself to fruit/yoghurt or I'll make you a sandwich. Would you prefer ham, cheese or jam?" means the child gets some choice but t creates zero extra work.

If my DD asks for a snack then usually she is asking if she can get herself something, but if I do offer to make something then I will usually give her a limited option list so that there is no argument about not liking/wanting something and it makes zero difference to me what filling I use.

PregnantOnPurpose Sun 22-Sep-19 21:49:54

I’m surprised at the people saying he should have had a choice or sandwich?

If my child that is old enough to make his own food asked for ‘something to eat’ I would make what I darn please for them to eat.

Kids are given too much choice, this is why kids are becoming more bratty, more spoilt and acting more entitled.

Ugh.

LaBelleSauvage Sun 22-Sep-19 21:39:23

I'd have done the same OP. YANBU.

Goodness it's no wonder some children are so badly behaved if people think it's acceptable to pander to an 8yo tantrum.

Do you all make several different dinners too when precious little Jimmy decides he doesn't want lasagne tonight?

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