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Sitting in the kitchen with baby and toddler at 6am...

(148 Posts)
OggOgg Sun 22-Sep-19 06:33:34

We have 4 DC. Our youngest is 1 and wakes up a few times a night. Our just turned 3 year old wakes up very early in the morning. Usually I get up in the night and up early as DH works and does school runs. I had my lie in yesterday.

MIL is staying for the weekend and is sleeping in the sitting room.

I was up 5 times in the night and have been awake since 5. I then had to come down to the kitchen to sit with energetic toddler and baby until MIL wakes up. Sitting here now fuming as everyone sleeps. It’s usually only bearable as they can play or watch TV in the sitting room until everyone wakes up.

Had furious row with Dh just before 6am as he accused me of whinging about the situation.

Aibu?

takeasadsongandmakeitbetter Sun 22-Sep-19 06:36:46

Not at all!!!! I would also be fuming. If DH was up to argue he should have got up himself... it's his mother visiting and taking up to only comfortable early morning room!

I would take both DC to your room and let them climb all over / dribble all DH!

thanks you have my full sympathy!

I've been up since 5.30 and all through the night but I'm on my comfy sofa watching cartoons which is much more bearable!

Monty27 Sun 22-Sep-19 06:38:09

I'd have given her my bedroom. At least then they'd have been able to cwutch up with you on the sofa.
In fact why's your dh not helping?
I'd wake them up but that's probably not helpful OP blush

GoodStuffAnnie Sun 22-Sep-19 06:38:42

You are right to be fuming.

I’m sorry for you.

It won’t last forever. If I were u I would get on a war footing eg I wouldn’t let mil stay for couple of years till you’re out the shitty bit. All hands on deck and all that.

category12 Sun 22-Sep-19 06:38:49

Why doesn't your dh do any of the night waking?

Salene Sun 22-Sep-19 06:38:55

I would of giving my MIL my bedroom and made a bed for husband and I in the sitting room. As I wouldn't have a guest on a sofa and it would solve the early morning issues with kids and watching TV. But I wouldn't be angry, what you can't expect her to get up at 5am.? Surely.

Newmumatlast Sun 22-Sep-19 06:39:14

A little bit in that it's a one off that MIL has come to stay and you had your lie in yesterday (presumably DH was the one to get up early). Presumably you also agreed to MIL staying at the house rather than in a b&b? Can you use your mobile to show the kids some kids TV on catch up? Can do so on a quieter volume and tbh if MIL wakes or is disturbed then it's not unreasonable imo as she chose to stay knowing she has young grandchildren who get up early - provided you are trying to keep it down. I should also say though I think you're being a bit unreasonable I totally understand your frustration and once your mind is tired and in that point of view it's hard to get out of that funk x

Dottysmum18 Sun 22-Sep-19 06:39:17

No my dd wakes at 6 every morning and my partner sleeps on the sofa every night so im stuck in the bed room trying to entertain a 1 year old untill he wakes roughly 10am and when i asked for a lay in once a week he said no ( i work pt and he doesnt atm due to a health issue )

666onmyhead Sun 22-Sep-19 06:39:17

Ask them to mind the children ( away from home ) this afternoon so you can have a long nap .

category12 Sun 22-Sep-19 06:39:46

Oh sorry, didn't read properly

December2019 Sun 22-Sep-19 06:40:24

I'd let your 3 year old loose in the living room to be honest! 😂
If my little one is up... everyone is up

BouleBaker Sun 22-Sep-19 06:41:12

Can’t believe your DH! I too would take them back to bed with me and let them watch CBeebies on iPlayer. Preferably with the device resting on your DH’s head.

OggOgg Sun 22-Sep-19 06:41:56

Thanks all flowers. DH did offer to get up but it was more of a ‘I’ll fucking do it then’ and I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it.

Normanpriceeh Sun 22-Sep-19 06:42:30

We don't have a spare room for guests so anyone staying with us stays in the living room and I also have an early rising toddler, but in that circumstance he comes and sits in our room with both of us. I certainly don't sit alone in the kitchen with him at 6am!

MustardScreams Sun 22-Sep-19 06:42:58

Take them up to bed and put something on the iPad. No need for you to be fuming in the kitchen about it. Does mil stay often?

OggOgg Sun 22-Sep-19 06:44:18

The problem with her in our room would be me not hearing the baby during the night. She also stays up late watching TV and we go to bed at 9:30!

NoSauce Sun 22-Sep-19 06:51:32

What are you actually fuming at? You know your 3 year old wakes up early and that MIL was asleep in the front room. Surely it’s no surprise that you’re sat in the kitchen?

You had a lie in yesterday too? Why are you so angry? confused

OggOgg Sun 22-Sep-19 06:54:45

I’m angry that I’ve been up 5 times in the night and awake since 5 and now having to sit in the kitchen so everyone else can sleep. Mainly angry at DH for the row this morning but also annoyed at MIL for staying up late watching TV then getting up late while everyone has to tiptoe.

I may be irrational through lack of sleep.

Owlsintowels Sun 22-Sep-19 06:55:32

DH can do one, his mum has disrupted your pattern, he has to take equal share of the consequences

millmoo Sun 22-Sep-19 06:58:09

Can’t you go and lie in the children’s room ?

NoSauce Sun 22-Sep-19 06:59:29

I’m sorry you’re tired and feeling bad but you have said that you get up in the night as DH works and does the school run so it’s not a new thing you getting up.

If MIL is having to sleep on the sofa in the lounge it’s hardly fair to expect her not to watch TV! Give it a bit longer then go and see if she wants a cup of tea and ask if you can put the TV on for the DC.

Have a coffee and if possible get your head down later on.

adaline Sun 22-Sep-19 06:59:42

I don't think you can expect guests to get up at 5/6am just because your small children are up at that time!

Take the children back upstairs to your bedroom and let them play with something in the bed with you guys. No need to sit downstairs in silence for hours!

OggOgg Sun 22-Sep-19 07:00:25

If they’re upstairs they’ll wake up DH and the older DC which isn’t fair as DC’s have had a long week at school.

parrotonthesofa Sun 22-Sep-19 07:01:19

You should have just made him get up. You did the night wakings = he gets up. He sounds very selfish.

MustardScreams Sun 22-Sep-19 07:01:27

7am isn’t getting up late!

You need to have a contingency in place for situations like this. Otherwise your anger is just going to make it a horrible day for everyone, and it’s really not that big of a thing tbh.

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