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To not want to invite her?

(15 Posts)
Needtopaintmynails Sat 21-Sep-19 19:34:19

My friend has recently started inviting another friend along every time we meet up.

I don’t tend to mind as I do like her ... it’s just sometimes I’d like it to just be me and friend.

(Other friend has a long term partner, close family and talks about other friends so she isn’t lonely)

Skysblue Sat 21-Sep-19 21:37:33

Yanbu. That’s weird and a bit rude. Good luck, sounds awkward!

AdoreTheBeach Sat 21-Sep-19 22:25:17

No. You’re not BU. Totally understand if you want to meet up with just your friend from time to time as a third person, no matter how lovely, can change the dynamics.

misspiggy19 Sat 21-Sep-19 22:33:37

YANBU- I wouldn’t like it either

crazycatgal Sat 21-Sep-19 22:37:40

YANBU, I have a friend that tries to do this

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sat 21-Sep-19 22:42:32

I have a friend who always turns up with her mum. Mum is lovely but it does change the dynamic of the get together.

vavavoomdeboom Sun 22-Sep-19 04:29:43

Sounds like she wants to change the dynamic. Has a particular topic been the main focus of conversation before?

redcarbluecar Sun 22-Sep-19 05:06:25

Yanbu but sounds like you need to make it explicit that sometimes you’d like it to just be the 2 of you.

aintnutinchanged Sun 22-Sep-19 05:10:01

Oh god!! I had a friend like this used to drive me potty 😂😂

Winterlife Sun 22-Sep-19 05:18:41

Either the third friend is going through something so your friend wants to help her, or your friend wants to distance herself from you.

Mothership4two Sun 22-Sep-19 05:19:37

I had a friend who did this too but now I am really good friends with the other friend. I was too polite to say "can it just be the two of us?" occasionally, which is ridiculous and very uptight of me - especially as our friendship is so relaxed. Would your friend mind if you did that?

I think it is something women do when they are a bit time poor.

JeSuisPoulet Sun 22-Sep-19 05:51:15

I think I used to do this! GUILTY!
I did it usually because I wanted to help the other person or to get like-minded people to meet. Sometimes it is more fun, especially if one is bogged in relationship drama and has been banging on a bit (love my friends but we've all done this).

I'm a bit odd though and never keep groups separate - friends are friends for a reason IMO and I'm shite at getting a sitter so down time is limited. It has helped me steer clear of people I thought were OK before too.

Coyoacan Sun 22-Sep-19 06:02:38

Tell your friend that you would like one-to-one conversations. The dynamic changes when there are three. I did that with a friend of mine whose bf took to tagging along when we met up and she understood perfectly.

Monty27 Sun 22-Sep-19 06:07:42

How are you and friend supposed to catch up properly when she brings sómeone else who presumably you're more guarded amongst and not as close to.
You need to say it though.
In a good way.

PumpityPumpPump Sun 22-Sep-19 06:10:31

I'm shy so find 1 on 1 to be quite a pressure to entertain. Always prefer more people there. Could they be the same?

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