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To be annoyed that a joint house is not in my name

(239 Posts)
stellavisionandunderstanding Sat 21-Sep-19 18:54:57

AIBU?

I sold my house in the UK and my husband and I bought a house together. We live abroad. His parents do everything and everything is passed by them. At the time I was focused on having our second child and before I knew it, his parents had taken him to an accountant to sort out the deeds and the paperwork.

I'm really cross about this as my rights by hanging my name on a house has been lost and this is not what I signed up to. I keep saying when do I sign something and then he finally told me what they'd gone and done.

He keeps saying we'll buy another flat in a few years and your name will be on it. It annoys me that this was done for tax reasons by his parents rather than protecting the right I had. I'd like to go back and do further study and now I can't show evidence for local frees rather than international. Please tell me I'm being unreasonable!

MrsNotNice Sat 21-Sep-19 18:56:49

Ouch... I’m gonna stay here to watch for more detail.

Your DH doing this behind your back is certainly a red flag.

MrsNotNice Sat 21-Sep-19 18:57:28

The house in the Uk was yours? You contributed to it?

If so I would actually take legal action, this was violation

HollowTalk Sat 21-Sep-19 18:58:20

That sounds very underhand. However, if he's as innocent as he says he is, surely a trip to a solicitor could get that sorted now?

eurochick Sat 21-Sep-19 18:58:58

Er, this sounds dreadful! You've put all your money into an asset that isn't yours?

bluebeck Sat 21-Sep-19 19:00:00

You need legal advice.

I am not sure why you are living abroad with such a mummys boy though. Is it a Hague Convention country?

RandomMess Sat 21-Sep-19 19:00:39

I would get legal advice locally and fast to see if you can protect yourself financially somehow you are very vulnerable if things don't work out...

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours Sat 21-Sep-19 19:01:00

who DOES have their name on the house....sounds like his parents have an interest too if they are involving accountants and tax reasons!

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 21-Sep-19 19:01:03

So you sold your asset, moved somewhere entirely at the whim of him and his parents, sunk all your money into something that isn't yours, and 'in a few years' this will all be sorted out unilaterally by the people who screwed you over so far.

You should be furious and terrified. Not annoyed. Furious and terrified.

What if you split up? You have no assets, can't leave the country with the children, can't study. Do you work?

LakieLady Sat 21-Sep-19 19:01:18

I'm sure I recall a similar thread posted a few months ago.

Anyway, I'd be bloody livid and I'd want my name added to the title, or whatever the local equivalent process would be.

Purpleartichoke Sat 21-Sep-19 19:01:31

I would start with, are you in a location where you have rights that are not dependent on your Dh’s Good will. For example, if you divorce, will you loose your right to residency?

If you are in a precarious position legally, I would insist on selling the home and moving somewhere you are protected.

If you are fine legally aside from the house, I would insist it be retitled immediately.

billy1966 Sat 21-Sep-19 19:01:38

OP, that sounds like financial abuse to me.
Get proof of the funds you had and get a solicitor.
Find out your position, based on them taking advantage of you.
Do NOT let this go.

Fxxxing massive red flag.

MsTSwift Sat 21-Sep-19 19:02:29

At leat you are married. If you divorce irrelevant who owns what it’s all on the table In England any way

Poppins2016 Sat 21-Sep-19 19:03:03

You're not being unreasonable. Your DH should have communicated with you and didn't. Buying a house is one of the most important things you do as a couple and he's completely disregarded you.

Is there any other evidence that you can gather for your study fees? It can't be solely based on home ownership (can it?! shock) - do they have a list of acceptable proof?

MrsNotNice Sat 21-Sep-19 19:03:36

MsTSwift

It’s a flat abroad. I think he can get away with it. You need legal advice in the UK and evidence of your sold property in your name and any money you transferred to him.

I wouldn’t trust him after this

peachgreen Sat 21-Sep-19 19:03:39

Fuck. I'd take this very seriously if I were you OP, and engage a solicitor ASAP. A good one.

Cohle Sat 21-Sep-19 19:03:46

Seek legal advice. I'd expect him to pay to have this rectified.

billy1966 Sat 21-Sep-19 19:03:51

Oh and OP, I'd be a lot more than cross.

Absolutely a deal and marriage breaker.

anotherpuzzle Sat 21-Sep-19 19:04:58

What the actual fuck? Why would your DH allow this to happen?

Get legal advice ASAP. If it were me I'd be finding a decent divorce lawyer too.

LemonAddict Sat 21-Sep-19 19:05:16

So many questions....

Which country are you in?

And your second child was born in the country you’re now in?

Was the money from the sale of your house in the UK used to part-fund the purchase of the house you’re now not named on?

Have you seen any paperwork regarding this purchase at all?

stellavisionandunderstanding Sat 21-Sep-19 19:06:04

He said it's so we don't pay more tax than necessary. I'm so cross about it. I've asked if we can deal with it and I get shrugged off because his parents have said this is the best way. I'm so upset about it. It's more than I have no right now. I've lost that and that's not what I signed up for.

GiveMeHope103 Sat 21-Sep-19 19:06:32

off course he knew about it op. he is lying.

BertrandRussell Sat 21-Sep-19 19:06:44

So who does own the flat? And how much money have you put into it?

Poppins2016 Sat 21-Sep-19 19:06:57

Just re-read and picked up on this:

He keeps saying we'll buy another flat in a few years and your name will be on it

So does that mean that he has no intention of putting your name on the house you currently live in, bought with your money? It sounds as though you'll only be named on a flat (presumably a lower value/second property)?

So many red flags here...

stellavisionandunderstanding Sat 21-Sep-19 19:07:04

The flat is in his name.

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