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To expect waiting staff to have some common sense?

(230 Posts)
rabbitheadlights Sat 21-Sep-19 17:03:52

In a well established mid range restaurant for lunch yesterday OH and I ordered both had steak and requested medium rare. I should add OH is a chef both steaks came out well done, not a problem send them back these things happen. Waiter returns to the table to tell us chef will re-do and how do we "actually" want our steak as he is adamant that they were both medium rare!

OH laughed and offered to cook them himself, but later spoke to the manager and said something along the lines of, "I really think your FOH team should know not to repeat what the chef says to customers like that, a simple steaks will be redone would have sufficed, as it is your staff have effectively come to my table and called me a liar, which by the way I'm not and if chef is adamant both steaks were right can I suggest some training?

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

virginpinkmartini Sat 21-Sep-19 17:10:01

Yeah, FOH maybe shouldn't have repeated what the chef said. But your husbands 'I should cook them myself' gave me severe eye roll.

virginpinkmartini Sat 21-Sep-19 17:12:30

Oh, and the retraining comments. It sounds a bit like he couldn't wait to let everyone know he was a chef himself.

I say this as a chef.

CareBear50 Sat 21-Sep-19 17:15:13

I think what you did was ok OP

rabbitheadlights Sat 21-Sep-19 17:16:22

To be honest nobody heard that but the manager and he suggested cooking them himself to me, I think he was quite right to be pissed off at being basically called a liar?

StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 21-Sep-19 17:16:33

I told a friend who said the steaks were redone so we shouldn't have spoken to manager about waiter repeating what the chef said... So WIBU?

Your friend can decide whether to complain or not when she is paying for dinner. Otherwise it’s not her business.

Cohle Sat 21-Sep-19 17:16:36

You DH seemed verrrry keen to let everyone know that he works in the industry.

Finfintytint Sat 21-Sep-19 17:19:55

You DH sounds like a bit of a knob. Especially for a mid range restaurant. grin

Coffeeandchocolate9 Sat 21-Sep-19 17:20:54

Oh, and the retraining comments. It sounds a bit like he couldn't wait to let everyone know he was a chef himself.

I say this as a chef.

Customers often ARE keen to let waiting on staff know they're chefs! It's amazing how often it comes up wink

OP the waiter shouldn't have passed it on you're right, but it sounds like the chef was being a dick back of house and they shouldn't have been, either.

pasturesgreen Sat 21-Sep-19 17:22:01

Mountain, molehill.

Also, I'm a tad aghast at the sheer waste of sending back two steaks, but hey how.

flashingbeacon Sat 21-Sep-19 17:23:00

Having worked both sides of the pass, everyone’s says they want their steak medium rare and means medium at least. Many more steaks are sent back to be cooked more. I know lots of chefs/cooks who won’t cook anything rare for this reason.

BertrandRussell Sat 21-Sep-19 17:23:07

Perfectly fine to send them back. Not fine to behave like a git.

virginpinkmartini Sat 21-Sep-19 17:23:16

rabbit the chef wasn't necessarily accusing your husband of being a liar. It could have been a simple difference of opinion as to what constitutes as a certain doneness, especially when you take into consideration residual heat from resting. The chef wasn't in the wrong for ranting, they can say what they like in the kitchen as long as they make it to the customers liking in the end. The FOH was wrong to relay back what was said. When I'm in the kitchen pissed off and understaffed, I sometimes say to FOH after they're nagging me for how long it's going to be 'Go and tell the customer that their meal will be ready in the time that it takes one person to do 20 covers by themselves.' Of course I dont expect them to actually say that. So you are not BU regarding the server acting unprofessional.

rabbitheadlights Sat 21-Sep-19 17:24:07

My OH is definitely sometimes a knob and I actually said to him would you be the same? He said if he knew he was right he would maybe say the customers full of sh#t but he certainly wouldn't expect the waiter to go out and repeat it

Byebyebyebyebye Sat 21-Sep-19 17:24:32

Yea...back in my college days when I was a waitress there was nothing more embarrassing and irritating as serving “someone in the industry” out of interest “why didn’t your dh just go home and cook his own steaks??!! hmm

ElizaDee Sat 21-Sep-19 17:24:32

I don't think you were unreasonable. Some chefs seem to think they can serve you what they think you should have rather than what you ask for. I once had to send a steak back 5 times before it was properly cooked well done with no pink.

StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 21-Sep-19 17:25:36

You DH seemed verrrry keen to let everyone know that he works in the industry.

Is there anything really wrong with that? My parents once went to a terrible Spanish restaurant and were served paella that, in their words, tasted like it had been made with JIF lemon. The manager rather airily responded to their complaints with ‘Well, perhaps the paella you’ve had on holiday is different, but this is traditional’. He came a peg or six when my mother told him she’d lived in Spain and worked in restaurants there and knew very well what paella should taste like.

StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 21-Sep-19 17:28:17

out of interest “why didn’t your dh just go home and cook his own steaks??!! hmm

Presumably because he’d paid someone to do it in a restaurant?

StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 21-Sep-19 17:30:23

Also, I'm a tad aghast at the sheer waste of sending back two steaks, but hey how.

So what - they should have just sent back one? Flipped a coin to decide who got their dinner cooked properly?

TrainspottingWelsh Sat 21-Sep-19 17:32:12

Unless this was in one of the rare restaurants that actually pays a decent wage, rather than the zero hours minimum wage most waiting staff are on, when do you suggest this training takes place? Perhaps the waiter could come in early and train on their own time.

And yy re making references to being in the industry. Without exception, the only time I’ve ever heard anyone mention it in a none twatty manner is when it accompanies a large tip and compliments at the very end of a meal.

DisplayPurposesOnly Sat 21-Sep-19 17:35:49

If that had been my husband, i'd've told him he was a pompous twat to speak like that.

Celebelly Sat 21-Sep-19 17:38:20

Yeah he sounds like a bit of a pompous twit tbh. Sentiment was OK, execution was not. I'd have been pretty embarrassed on his behalf.

rabbitheadlights Sat 21-Sep-19 17:39:34

Byebyebyebyebye would you expect a bus driver never to use public transport? A hairdresser never to have their hair done by someone else? A pilot never to go on holiday? Don't be ridiculous !!

JumpyLiz Sat 21-Sep-19 17:40:08

It's quite likely that the chef told the waiter to say exactly what he did!

Cringing for you about your husband.

TheCanterburyWhales Sat 21-Sep-19 17:40:29

Does your husband often act like a twat in restaurants?
(my dh is also a chef. He doesn't even complain in Pizza Hut and he's Italian)
As others have said, steak is v subjective...during the summer dd and i are steak in Spain, Belgium and London. She asked for medium each time. The Belgian one was rare, the London one well done and a good vet would have revived the Spanish one.

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