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Neighbour bashing on window

(68 Posts)
PumpkinP Wed 18-Sep-19 23:11:08

I live in a gf maisonette. I’ve lived here for 3 years and never had any trouble. I have a child with autism who has significant night time needs and gets hrc for this. A few months ago a man and woman moved in above.

The first I knew was him screaming out the window telling me about my daughter crying at night. He was very aggressive ranted about paying rent and not being council, whatever that had to do with anything. I just told him fair enough and went in. Nothing from him again but made a conscious effort to try to keep the noise down. Roll on to tonight my daughter is upstairs in bed but is struggling to settle, she’s chatting and I’m trying to get her to sleep. Bed time has always been difficult. I’m standing in her room and hear a bang on the window. I Was abit confused and thought I must be imagining it. Then again another bang, I look out to see the upstairs neighbour is bashing a broom against my window from his window above. Literally wtf, I was so shocked I’ve come down stairs with dd who is equally scared. I don’t know what to do? I’m honestly shaking. For context I think the man has some kind of anger issues as I regularly hear arguments between him and his partner.

Ponoka7 Wed 18-Sep-19 23:14:10

Personally I'd phone the police, it's threatening behaviour.

allthegoodusernameshavegone Wed 18-Sep-19 23:16:11

Don’t engage with him and call the police

LuluBellaBlue Wed 18-Sep-19 23:16:19

I’d second calling the police. That’s not acceptable behaviour

AdoreTheBeach Wed 18-Sep-19 23:16:37

I would suggest you ring 101 and log this. Keep a record and ring every time he shouts at you or bangs on the window

PumpkinP Wed 18-Sep-19 23:16:38

Thank you was thinking of calling the police but wasn’t sure if it was ott. I spoke to my sister who said I should call them in the morning but I don’t know why I should wait

MrsBertBibby Wed 18-Sep-19 23:16:53

Yep. Police. Who manages the maisonettes? You should contact them and complain.

dowehaveastalker Wed 18-Sep-19 23:17:04

Call the police if you think he’s going to be a threat to you. Any other family that can come round?

HennyPennyHorror Wed 18-Sep-19 23:17:29

I third calling the police. LEt the bastard know you won't be bullied!

SummerWhisper Wed 18-Sep-19 23:18:16

Dial 101 as this could constitute a hate incident. He is intimidating you due to your daughter's disability. Neither you nor your daughter should be made to feel unsafe. The police will talk to him and hopefully calm him down. Please don't be afraid to ring them. I hope you are both OK flowers

TinkerPony Wed 18-Sep-19 23:19:24

Police he sounds dangerous and report him to landlord/rental agency too.

PickAChew Wed 18-Sep-19 23:21:56

D3finitely call the police. Spent many years in a terrace building up a relationship with nice neighbours, with 2 autistic kids. Still difficult though. Moved to a wide semi, recently, and put the noisy one on the outside. We're not exemplary neighbours, but without an infinetie budget, even in the NE that funds the space the kids need from each other, in a detached house, WTF can we do?

virginpinkmartini Wed 18-Sep-19 23:22:31

Yep. Police, and contact his estate agent. Could be logged under antisocial behaviour and stop him from getting a good reference in future, which would be well deserved. Sad little individual.

PumpkinP Wed 18-Sep-19 23:23:15

I’m council, I know his is private rented probably hence his rant about me being council. I’m still shaking

PumpkinP Wed 18-Sep-19 23:25:46

No one that can come round unfortunately and I’m a lone parent which is part of the reason why I feel he thinks he can do this.

Legoandloldolls Wed 18-Sep-19 23:25:57

Call the police now on 101. What if his broom smashes the window? Sounds like unhinged and entitled arsehole

recklessruby Wed 18-Sep-19 23:29:40

Please call the police. He sounds unstable and threatening.
999 if he does anything more tonight.
I m a council tenant too. It doesn't mean private renters have more rights than you.

BanKittenHeels Wed 18-Sep-19 23:30:05

I’m not usually one of the MN “phone 101 immediately” squad but this is certainly a time to do so.

I’m sorry you’re having to put up with this idiot.

HeadintheiClouds Wed 18-Sep-19 23:33:52

Definitely police. Are you ok?

Moondancer73 Wed 18-Sep-19 23:36:19

Absolutely call the police. Behaving that way is not acceptable regardless of time of day and whether you are council or private tenant/owner. Hope you and your daughter are ok.

AlmostAJillSandwich Wed 18-Sep-19 23:40:10

Honestly, how loud is your daughter? It doesn't excuse his agression but i honestly understand the frustration of how loud even an able mind and bodied child can be. Screaming/crying/tantrums gets annoying very quickly, especially when you're trying to relax or sleep. Noise can also travel worse in flats, he may well be at the end of his tether in a stressful job, and this is the only flat he could afford, OR he's dispairing at the fact he's got a shiny new contract of however long and the noise wasn't expected as he obviously wasn't viewing at night when there is the main issue.
After several months of really noisy screaming kids day in day out i've been tempted to scream back "shut up!" at my own neighbours but haven't actually, yet at least.

scoobydoo1971 Wed 18-Sep-19 23:45:55

Get the police involved. Also do some detective work to find out who owns the flat above. The Land Registry could help, or look for old adverts on the internet from when the flat was advertised for rent? You should try to contact the landlord. If he is that angry, he may cause damage to the property. He is an antisocial tenant anyway, and if the landlord thinks there is police involvement then s/he may not extend the tenancy. Please do stress that your child has a disability to the police and other agencies.

SummerWhisper Wed 18-Sep-19 23:47:41

AlmostAJillSandwich what a horrible response to a mother and child in distress. Her daughter has autism. Show some compassion for the people who need it, not Basil Brush upstairs.

PumpkinP Wed 18-Sep-19 23:48:51

I get that AlmostAJillSandwich but bashing a window with a broom is surely unacceptable? We were talking at the point as I was trying to get her back to bed. Tbf the flats are very poorly sound proofed as I can hear everything from them aswell (they obviously think I can’t!)

cannotmakemymindup Wed 18-Sep-19 23:50:46

What would have happened if had banged the window to hard? It would have broken the glass all into a childs room, how anyone can think that is a suitable course of action, I don't know. I agree ring police, 101. That was very threatening behaviour unfortunately.

WarshipWarrior Wed 18-Sep-19 23:50:55

Did you phone 101 OP? he sounds like such a twat.

PumpkinP Wed 18-Sep-19 23:51:41

Thanks SummerWhisper my daughter is terrified now and refusing to go back upstairs, surprised people can justify it!

PaulHollywoodsleftbollockhair Wed 18-Sep-19 23:54:28

I would challenge him directly and tell him you have a child with autism who was frightened by his behaviour tonight. Let him know you regularly tolerate unacceptable noise from his flat and that if there is anymore of his aggression you will involve the police.

LittleMy20 Wed 18-Sep-19 23:57:05

Call the police it’s harrasmrnt.

LittleMy20 Wed 18-Sep-19 23:58:17

Contact your children’s services too- if this gets worst they must move you. You should not have to tolerate this.

chickenyhead Thu 19-Sep-19 00:06:46

Outrageous

He could have broken the window in a child's bedroom. What ever happened to having a reasonable chat with neighbours rather than resorting to default aggression. Do not excuse his behaviour, he is a disgusting bully.

I would be tempted to video any further acts on your phone too.

I hope that your daughter is ok soon xxx

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 00:09:43

Hope it’s doesn’t get worse I don’t think I can even sleep now. Called 101 but they said they are going to pass it to my local safer neighbourhood team which feels abit like I was fobbed off I mean will they actually visit him? Definitely calling the council and seeing if I can call his landlord in the morning. I’ve tried to ask my daughter if this is the first time this has happened but she hasn’t been able to tell me.

hittheroadjack1 Thu 19-Sep-19 00:10:46

Open it and steal his broom.

I hope you and your dd are ok.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 19-Sep-19 00:14:47

Personally I’d call them back and tell them your dd can’t sleep because of the asshole with a broom.

If someone was bashing on my bedroom window this time of night I’d see it as a blatant act of aggression and intimidation and want them dealt with now- not a fecking email to someone who’ll put it on their to do list.

AdoraBell Thu 19-Sep-19 00:20:54

Definitely report to the police. And if DD doesn’t settle for the next couple of nights, or he repeats this I would tell your GP, or whoever is best for her support.

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 00:29:53

How on earth do I find out who the LL is?? Looking on land registry. Is it title resister? Still so fuming that someone can act like that and think it’s normal. I don’t want him to get away with scaring my child like that

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday Thu 19-Sep-19 00:30:36

I would feel fobbed off by 101 too in your position. Definitely call the police. I think your neighbour’s reaction is deplorable. Hope you are able to get your DD (and yourself) settled tonight flowers

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 00:30:48

register*

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday Thu 19-Sep-19 00:38:26

I think you’re on right track re Land Registry, but it seems you’ll have to pay £3 to find out ( I looked here eservices.landregistry.gov.uk/eservices/FindAProperty/view/QuickEnquiryInit.do). Maybe someone else on Mumsnet can better advise....

BanKittenHeels Thu 19-Sep-19 00:40:01

You might be able to find the old listing for their flat on Rightmove if you google your postcode.

EmeraldShamrock Thu 19-Sep-19 00:44:34

Bloody hell OP he is a nutter.
Please do not challenge him. I think do call the police but at the same time I'd be worried about his behaviour after the police visit him, some people dont give a fuck about authority.
Definitely report him but be on your guard, I am not trying to scare you.
Goodluck it is awful how neighbours can ruin your home life. flowers

EmeraldShamrock Thu 19-Sep-19 00:47:56

Contact your local council to check if it is tenant registered, some parts of England need to register tenants.
If you are in Scotland NI or Wales it should be registered.

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 00:55:45

I’m still awake, looks like a night on the sofa for me and dd as couldn’t get her back upstairs. We are in London. Im worried how he will act aswell as he seems unhinged.

TheTeenageYears Thu 19-Sep-19 01:20:18

Do you know if they rent through an agent? If so you could approach the agents and explain your circumstances for them to pass on. It will let the agents and potentially the landlord know of the tenants behaviour but also make the tenants aware of your situation. Hopefully knowing it’s not just someone allowing their child to scream the place down regularly and for no reason will make the tenants think and act differently- preferably with a bit of understanding.

EmeraldShamrock Thu 19-Sep-19 02:06:42

There needs to be harsher laws and action against antisocial neighbours.
Don't worry OP lock the place up well, go to the local police station tomorrow tell them you dont want them to call you but to note it as intimation, tell them you need a quick response if he kicks off.
I'd let this go as far as he thinks, keep a diary, he sounds like an absolute arsehole.
If he does it again, shout back at him then ring the police, he is a bully.

PatricksRum Thu 19-Sep-19 02:37:36

OP call 999.
I had an unhinged neighbour like this too, banging on my door because my hair straighteners were keeping him up confused
He then was trying to swing for me.
Not 101, 999 definitely.

Sausageandpicklesandwiches Thu 19-Sep-19 05:55:36

The register on Land Regi will tell you who owns the property. It might have several options, probably obviously but you want the freehold.

Hope you got some sleep.

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 10:07:16

Thanks everyone, we stayed on the sofa and it will probably be the same again tonight as she was still upset this morning. I called the council who said they would write to him. I’m just worried that this is going to escalate, I’ve found out who the landlord is, do I write to them or just leave it now? The thing is they are loud themselves they must think I don’t hear them, I hear them talking, every foot step I hear their baby cry, them arguing, I hear them hoovering etc I just think the sound proofing is very poor in the flats.

chickenyhead Thu 19-Sep-19 10:24:53

Definitely write to the landlord.

He might think twice if it could actually affect him, a letter from the council is unlikely to.

Neron Thu 19-Sep-19 10:36:47

I feel for you OP, and agree that his behaviour most definately is not acceptable. It's not fair you're now feeling as you do, and it's not your fault.

That said, I do see his frustration, which I feel this ultimately is. I live in a new build, the lack of insulation means I too hear everything. It's been hell. Secondly, in my second job I work with those who have severe physical and learning difficulties - when they are in the midst of it, they are exceptionally loud and they don't understand reasoning. In your case this is happening at night and it's keeping them awake too. I suspect his private comment was him trying to say (meanly) that he needs to sleep because he has to go to work, and implying you don't have to?

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 10:58:08

Yes he did mention working aswell, I’m at home as a carer but I find it weird as for someone that works he is always in and there car is always there so I’m guessing he works from home. The issue is with the poor sound proofing of the flats. Unfortunately my council only allows people in flats to bid on flats so I was only allowed a flat.

Ohflippineck Thu 19-Sep-19 10:59:10

Call the police.

makingmammaries Thu 19-Sep-19 11:04:32

You need proof as he will deny it otherwise. Video the broom banging on the window if you can. Get your DD’s distress documented by the GP. Then you could make a proper harassment complaint. It’s not as if you can force your DD to be silent, you’re in the housing the council allocated you in knowledge of your circumstances, and there is nothing you can do about the poor soundproofing.

msbevvy Thu 19-Sep-19 11:08:48

If yours is council does that mean that upstairs is a former council property that was bought under right to buy but is now being let privately?
If that is the case, the council will still be the freeholder of the property and the owner will be bound by a lease. This man's actions could well be a breach of the lease. The council will have some of powers over him and it should be worth involving them.

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 11:18:04

If yours is council does that mean that upstairs is a former council property that was bought under right to buy but is now being let privately?

Yes that is correct. They have just said they will write to him.

IncrediblySadToo Thu 19-Sep-19 11:18:19

I don’t care how annoying it is or how tired he might be, intimidating you and DD is unacceptable. He’s renting, there are other options for him to get any irritations dealt with, that don’t involve banging on a child’s window, especially at night.

Definitely write to the landlord, say you understand it’s annoying being woken in the night, but at 11:30, when he was banging, DD was quiet as you were talking to her and with her disability, she does get upsets in the night sometimes, but you deal with it as best you can.

Tell him that you’d also liked them informed that you can hear (the list you wrote before) as well, as the sound proofing is not good.

Tell him you have contacted the police & the council as your DD was terrified and now will not go back upstairs !

With any luck they’re on a short contract the LL won’t renew.

Poor DD. If it was me I’d take DD upstairs to play a lot starting in daytime if you can and if possible/if she’d enjoy it I’d take her to buy something nice for her room. A new bedside light or some of those stick on ‘glow in the dark’ shapes or whatever.

IncrediblySadToo Thu 19-Sep-19 11:22:15

So, yours is a gf maisonette, but your DD goes to bed upstairs? Is it a converted 4 floor house? I can’t picture it.

Is there anyway you could create a downstairs bedroom for DD?

What have previous neighbours been like?

BanKittenHeels Thu 19-Sep-19 11:31:31

Surely maisonettes can be a house on the bottom with a flat on top or a flat on the bottom with a ‘house’ on top?

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 11:35:55

I have a gf maisonette so it’s like a house but there is a single flat on top, if that makes sense. So the flat above is all on one level and mine has an upstairs and downstairs. Thanks IncrediblySadToo for the suggestions will give them a go.

MrsBethel Thu 19-Sep-19 12:31:44

Yep, call the police.

HeadintheiClouds Thu 19-Sep-19 12:55:24

His window is above your upstairs window? confused

milksoffagain Thu 19-Sep-19 13:11:38

I would record him banging on the window or whatever else he does hereafter on your phone as evidence. Nasty nasty man sorry you have to tolerate this and hope your LO is ok

PumpkinP Thu 19-Sep-19 13:53:25

His window is above your upstairs window? confused

What is confusing? It’s a maisonette so yes he lives above me and his window is above mine

letsdolunch321 Thu 19-Sep-19 13:59:05

If it happens again tonight call 999 as it has already been reported to 101.

PettyContractor Thu 19-Sep-19 13:59:08

People seem to be having trouble understanding what a maisonette is.

A maisonette is a flat with it's own private entrance. A flat has a communal entrance with other flats. Maisonettes can be on one level or split level.

KUGA Thu 19-Sep-19 14:05:59

Police all the way.

OzzyFinch Thu 19-Sep-19 14:49:48

@HeadintheiClouds Have you never seen a block of maisonettes?

LucyAutumn Thu 19-Sep-19 15:49:02

Hope things go better tonight OP flowers

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