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AIBU not to sell her the clothes?

(117 Posts)
MaggieMagpie357 Mon 16-Sep-19 19:45:55

A fellow school mum has set up an online clothing company selling second hand clothes, nothing big, think more local and social media based than large online trading company.

I recently posted quite a lot of bundles of clothes for sale on FB Marketplace after an unsuccessful car boot sale, all really good quality stuff, in great condition. She has now approached me twice about buying some of these clothes.

The first time it was a dressing up costume, she didn't specify it was to sell on although I suspected that's what she might do. I joked that it wouldn't fit her daughter to give her the chance to own up and say, actually it's for my online store, but she just kept asking when she could pick it up. In the end I relented just to get rid of it, as it was a bit marked and no one else was interested in buying it.

Now she has messaged me about buying 4 more items. Part of me wants to message back and say, actually I'm not very comfortable with you buying these to sell on for your own profit. AIBU?

Bit of background - I have known this woman for 7 years, I really do not like her (which may be colouring my judgement!!!) but our daughters are friends and in the same class. I don't really see her any more as our kids are old enough to walk to school alone so no awkward school runs to worry about, but she does live nearby.

I'm torn between wanting to get rid of these clothes and definitely not wanting her to profit from my stuff - especially as she hasn't been honest about it!

ReanimatedSGB Mon 16-Sep-19 22:37:49

If you buy a lot of new clothes at low prices, you're probably benefiting from sweatshop labour, btw.

hiddenmnetter Tue 17-Sep-19 07:22:52

You’re shooting yourself in the foot.

Either a) she’s paying your asking price or b) you have realised that you can get more so up your prices?

If you don’t want to up your prices because you want a quick and easy sale, then you’ve gotten it. If you want maximum profit, then now you know you could get more (if she can then you can). Literally don’t see what the fuss is. Unless she’s buying your clothes for some immoral purpose (quite what I’m not sure) then just sell to her, or up your prices. They are the only reasonable responses.

WellButterMyArse Tue 17-Sep-19 07:50:06

Your attitude is very odd. As if she was being dishonest. You aren't owed an explanation about what people plan to do with things they've bought.

That being said, if you don't want to do a business transaction with someone because you don't like them, then don't. In this case that's likely to either make your life more awkward or mean you end up giving them away. But you're within your rights to choose that.

beatriceprior Tue 17-Sep-19 08:00:36

Sell them yourself on eBay.

Totally get you don't like her so don't sell
Them to her.

eBay is touch and go. I've just sold a load of designer bits and pieces, next suits, all kinds. Think I made about £50
After postage.

Just tell her your going another car boot sale.

StillCoughingandLaughing Tue 17-Sep-19 08:57:29

it's a very local online shop, lots of her friends seem to buy her stuff through Fb, so I'm guessing my original post (including the price) will have been seen by many people already.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you say you were selling bundles of clothes? If so, people have seen the price for a bundle. If this woman then sells on an individual item for £5 (for example) to someone who knows she only paid £10 for the entire bundle, that’s the customer’s choice - maybe they will be happy to pay more for one item because the rest of the bundle is useless to them.

This woman makes her profit (and I’m guessing not a huge one) from taking the time to sell items individually instead of in bulk. She is building up a small business; maybe she has regulars who she knows will pay more for Gap Kids, Boden etc. Her profit comes from that knowledge/connection that you don’t have.

If these are really good quality clothes, they probably didn’t sell at the car boot because car boot customers want everything for tuppence. If she can sell them because she targets the right customers, why not let her do it if she’s willing to pay your price?

SparklyMagpie Tue 17-Sep-19 09:19:18

I couldn't imagine asking anyone who wanted to buy some clothes off me, what their intentions were before or after purchasing

Money is money, and I agree if people have seen some clothes but then see the same item of clothing at a higher price, well it's their choice if they want to pay that.

You have reminded me though that I have boxes of DS's baby clothes I need to sort through and donate and some bundles I can sell to go towards a nice treat or day out for us both. Anything I feel funny about who has it, I have kept

If you don't need the money then just say "no thank you"

If you do, then just sell it for the price you are happy with

There's not enough hours in the day to be thinking about this crap

SmellbowSmellbow123 Tue 17-Sep-19 09:26:24

Tell her you’ve already sold them on then put them on eBay?

motherheroic Tue 17-Sep-19 09:48:43

You're being annoying and becoming even moreso with each update you post. You clearly don't like her, so tell her they have been sold.

BunchMunch Tue 17-Sep-19 09:59:50

I understand where you're coming from op.

I had an old 1950's record player on ebay, collection only, fairly collectable.
A bidder got in touch with a story about how it was for her elderly father, he had the same one years ago, etc. I was touched and sold her it for £50. A few days later I saw that she was selling it for £200. It really annoyed me!

Echo other posters though - either sell it yourself or donate it to your local charity shop.

mumofone234 Tue 17-Sep-19 10:09:02

This is a tricky one because technically YABU (and I think you probably know that), but nevertheless there’s a niggling annoyance that I totally understand. To be honest, I’d probably feel the same if I already didn’t much like the person. Ultimately, these are your items and you don’t have to sell them to her - and if you do, will it just exacerbate your feelings about her and lead to tension? If so, you might be better off not doing it, however unfair it might be in the cold light of day.

Chloesmumtoo Tue 17-Sep-19 10:30:37

Yabu. I think if you have had an unsuccessfulcar boot sale and Facebook market place maybe it's a blessing she wants to buy some. Especially the item a bit marked that no one else was interested in. Personally I have done car boots and ebay to sell unwanted items and have sold to people who i believe were re selling to try to make a profit. Some of my best regular buyers. To me, I am happy in what i receive or my price asked so it doesn't matter. Sometimes they make a profit and sometimes they wont, it is all a gamble. I may want a quick sale they may be prepared to go the long haul. All I want is a little cashback and a clutter free home. Do I care on their personalities/characters, not in the slightest but have chatted to some lovely people. Personally, if she is hounding you for individual items and being a nuisance you may need to decline her and state your selling as bundles only. That way you won't end up left with all the less wanted items which will be harder to sell later on. I have turned buyers down if I don't wish to split items. I probably would find that a pita but she did ask. You just need to decide what your happy with and how you want to do it. I rather sell with the least hassle nowadays, which is via ebay posted only and no collections.

nonmerci Tue 17-Sep-19 10:35:44

Your dislike of her is most definitely colouring your better judgement here. Just take the money! It’s not as if they have been snapped up by anyone else.

AgentJohnson Tue 17-Sep-19 11:48:10

You clearly don’t like the woman and you don’t want to sell to her, which is your prerogative. The bit about her not being up front about potentially selling it on is a ridiculous smokescreen to detract from your personal dislike of her. Are you expecting other buyers not to sell on stuff the purchase from you?

She’s doing you the favour.

StillCoughingandLaughing Tue 17-Sep-19 13:22:50

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you say you were selling bundles of clothes?

I’ve just re-read your first post and have seen she’s asked you to sell you specific items. In that case I would quote her a price for the bundle and say you won’t sell items individually.

nestisflown Tue 17-Sep-19 13:28:34

I think people are being harsh to you OP. But I would agree with the general sentiment that this is not something to get worked up about. You're letting your dislike of your friend cloud what is otherwise a very normal transaction.

Glitteryone Tue 17-Sep-19 13:28:36


You don’t know what anyone does with items they’ve bought from you and once bought it’s actually none of your business!

Ticklemeelmo Tue 17-Sep-19 13:56:49

Who cares who buys the things as long as you get the maximum you think you can get for them?

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