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AIBU not to sell her the clothes?

(117 Posts)
MaggieMagpie357 Mon 16-Sep-19 19:45:55

A fellow school mum has set up an online clothing company selling second hand clothes, nothing big, think more local and social media based than large online trading company.

I recently posted quite a lot of bundles of clothes for sale on FB Marketplace after an unsuccessful car boot sale, all really good quality stuff, in great condition. She has now approached me twice about buying some of these clothes.

The first time it was a dressing up costume, she didn't specify it was to sell on although I suspected that's what she might do. I joked that it wouldn't fit her daughter to give her the chance to own up and say, actually it's for my online store, but she just kept asking when she could pick it up. In the end I relented just to get rid of it, as it was a bit marked and no one else was interested in buying it.

Now she has messaged me about buying 4 more items. Part of me wants to message back and say, actually I'm not very comfortable with you buying these to sell on for your own profit. AIBU?

Bit of background - I have known this woman for 7 years, I really do not like her (which may be colouring my judgement!!!) but our daughters are friends and in the same class. I don't really see her any more as our kids are old enough to walk to school alone so no awkward school runs to worry about, but she does live nearby.

I'm torn between wanting to get rid of these clothes and definitely not wanting her to profit from my stuff - especially as she hasn't been honest about it!

Redglitter Mon 16-Sep-19 20:08:51

If shes prepared to pay what you're asking for the clothes then you're being ridiculous. Why does it matter what she does with them. If you make a profit selling them then up your price

Derbee Mon 16-Sep-19 20:09:56


You set a price, and you get that price.
She sets a price, and she gets that price.

What’s the problem? confused

If you’re paid what you want for an item, why would you have a problem with what happens to them afterwards? How strange

singtanana Mon 16-Sep-19 20:10:11

I don’t get it. Why don’t you sell the clothes at the higher price and make the profit yourself?

Timeless19 Mon 16-Sep-19 20:10:30

Oh god let her have them!

Look at her business model...selling second hand clothes.

She has to source the clothes, collect the clothes, sort/wash the clothes, photograph them, upload them, find someone to actually buy them before dispatching them. Then and only then will she possibly make a “profit” but in all likelihood after all that work and effort she won’t.

Any business is hard work but this one particularly so. Let her have them and wish her luck. It would benefit the environment immensely if we all bought a bit more second hand let her crack on.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail Mon 16-Sep-19 20:12:20

It wouldn’t bother me if she was willing to pay what I was asking. If she haggled I’d be a bit hmm

MaggieMagpie357 Mon 16-Sep-19 20:13:51

@EnsignRoLaren ooh hadn't thought of that!!

Yes I'm being petty, but this woman grinds my gears so much. She is the kind whose children are ALWAYS the most important/clever/fabulous in any situation, and who teachers and school receptionists run and hide from, because she practically lives at the school. She clearly winds me up more than I realised!

Walnutwhipster Mon 16-Sep-19 20:14:46

Your thinking is way off. If you were giving them to her and she sold them for a profit, maybe you'd have a point but she's willing to pay the price you want.

AloeVeraLynn Mon 16-Sep-19 20:15:13

YABU because you don't like her. If you're getting the price you want it shouldn't really make a difference to you.

Peanutbutterforever Mon 16-Sep-19 20:16:43

If she winds you up, but no only else is buying them, you could always give them to a charity shop.

StockTakeFucks Mon 16-Sep-19 20:16:54

You don't want to sell to her because you don't like it. You finally accepted that. Fair enough.

MaeveDidIt Mon 16-Sep-19 20:18:16

What timeless19 says.
You come across as small minded and resentful - and what for - some crappy school uniform (shakes head).

Fromage Mon 16-Sep-19 20:18:36

I'd rather buy from you at your price than from her at hers, so YANBU.

Say you've already overpriced them so she's not likely to make a profit, and also (disclaimer: I know nothing about FB Marketplace) you want to sell to different buyers so you get a variety of feedback/ratings/develop good relationships with buyers/whatevs.

EnsignRoLaren Mon 16-Sep-19 20:18:55

I did it once because I had a slightly crazy sling-stalker woman, who hopped on every post I made about baby carriers and posted a begging story about why she was more worthy/in need of the —luxury baby item— carriers I was trying to buy. In the end I blocked her and my problem was solved.

Tbf OP, I could quite easily feel the same way, even if it is irrational. Just subtly block her 🙂

MaggieMagpie357 Mon 16-Sep-19 20:19:22

@MaeveDidIt it's not school uniform. It's nice girls clothes. If that makes a difference (which I'm sure it doesn't.)

Soubriquet Mon 16-Sep-19 20:21:14

I do get where you are coming from

I sold a bundle of toys that the person said her ds was desperate for.

She only went and listed them to sell on.

I felt a bit smug when months went by and no one bought them grin

But it’s just clothes. Let her buy them and waste her own time selling them on

georgialondon Mon 16-Sep-19 20:21:38

I have no clue why this would bother you!

Vgbeat Mon 16-Sep-19 20:21:44

I don't see the problem. If she is paying the price you asked what does it matter. It's called wholesale and retail. You don't go to Asda and complain you are paying more then they are buying it for. If you think you can get the same sell it at a higher price.

mum11970 Mon 16-Sep-19 20:22:05

YABU that’s exactly how buying and selling works. What you pay in Tesco isn’t the price they pay to buy the item from the wholesaler or manufacturer. If she is willing to pay your asking price just sell her the clothes.

MaggieMagpie357 Mon 16-Sep-19 20:22:52

@Fromage that's the thing - it's a very local online shop, lots of her friends seem to buy her stuff through Fb, so I'm guessing my original post (including the price) will have been seen by many people already.

HotChocolateLover Mon 16-Sep-19 20:24:06

Just sell it, who cares?!! You might not get any buyers and then you’ve missed out on XX amount.

MaggieMagpie357 Mon 16-Sep-19 20:25:35

@Soubriquet yes a similar thing has happened to me in the past, so maybe that's partly why I'm reluctant to sell to her! That and the fact that she hasn't actually said that's what she's going to do with them. Just be honest!!

MaeveDidIt Mon 16-Sep-19 20:27:03


Ok, point taken, but quite frankly if you are that resentful that she is going to make a few quid out of you - put the effort in and sell them yourself at a higher price. Job done.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet Mon 16-Sep-19 20:31:58

If you don't want to sell to her, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable with her selling them on. She's unlikely to hunt you down and kill you, even for a nice bit of Boden.

I've been selling online for about 15 years now and I've learnt to listen to my instincts. Sometimes that has meant not selling to people I knew, because I thought they were arseholes. The very few times I ignored my instincts, the sales went badly wrong, because guess what? They were arseholes!

If she's selling online she may not last long anyway. The returns rate for clothing is horrific and children's clothes can be especially tricky. Maybe she will move on to another idea soon and you won't have this problem. Could you remove all of your stuff from sale for a while? You could say that you're not really enjoying selling and you're giving it a break, but be prepared for some CF-ery when she wants you to give her all your "stock".

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth Mon 16-Sep-19 20:33:03

Jeez, way to shoot yourself in the foot.
She wants to buy at the price you want, but you won’t sell? How bizarre. Is someone else’s money worth more?

Aprillygirl Mon 16-Sep-19 20:34:09

You obviously don't really need the money, so if you want to spite her that much why don't you just donate the clothes to a charity? Or would you resent a charity profiting from your precious cast offs also? hmm

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