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Friday night pull

(98 Posts)
Monty27 Mon 16-Sep-19 03:48:16

I regularly frequent a local pub which is delightful.
I've been single for 3 years (totally single iykwim). Nobody in there catches my eye there's a great group of us that know each other very well so we're all mates male and female mostly partnered up.
About 3 weeks ago this totally stunning guy begins to come in regularly and it became a bit of a giggle between us mates.
To cut to the quick it turns out he's staying around the corner from me and we left the pub together and I invited him in for a drink as by now he's divulged that he broke up from his wife a year ago but had just learned stbxw is having a relationship. Clearly he's upset about it.
In he comes to my house and we chat a bit more over a gin and tonic.
Next thing I know he's launched upon me, I kissed him for a bit but he was being too amorous for my liking.
My 23 yo DS came home thank goodness and we all sat and chatted for a while. Gorgeous bloke (GB) goes to the bathroom and was taking ages.
DS went up to see if he was ok and discovered GB had gone to my bed.
DS gently got him to leave whilst I hid and cringed in the utility room above all places shock as I couldn't handle the confront.
Off GB goes.... OMFG you should have seen the state he'd left the loo in. I am still retching every time I think of it.
I suppose it's a case of chalk it up to experience.
But I'm most unnerved to think things may have been worse had my DS not arrived home.
I've felt awful and vulnerable all weekend.
I'm not young. It's the first time I've even kissed anyone in 3 years.
😱 sad

Ebonyandivory2 Mon 16-Sep-19 03:55:25

I’m sorry but the bit about the toilet has me in stitches 😂 on a serious note, don’t worry about it. You weren’t to know he’s a creep. Don’t let it put you off the idea of seeing someone. It’s a good thing your ds was home but I like to think he wouldn’t have harmed you, especially if he was seen leaving with you.

Monty27 Mon 16-Sep-19 04:17:23

Thanks ebony. Maybe in a couple of days I'll be able to laugh about it.
Right now I'm feeling totally freaked.
I'm not convinced he wouldn't have harmed me though.
I suppose if I see him again in the pub it might put some things to bed so to speak grin
He's really really stunning and I thought he was a gentleman.
His dirty knickers where in the bathroom bin. My DS saw them and told me. I put bin and all in a large carrier bag and put the lot in the wheelie bin outside.
Omg I'm feeling quite traumatised.
You've got me lightening up a bit though.
Thanks smile

CrystalShark Mon 16-Sep-19 04:20:16

His dirty knickers? What? Is that regional slang?

He took his underwear off and left it in your wash basket before going to your bed, half naked I presume?

Bluewavescrashing Mon 16-Sep-19 04:21:44

So he did a monster shit in your bathroom then got into your bed? Gross.

Monty27 Mon 16-Sep-19 04:33:12

Yes. He had put his trousers back on before he got into my bed.
I checked there was no mess on my sheet and there wasn't.
It wasn't my laundry basket it was the bathroom bin. A chrome pedestal thing.

Ebonyandivory2 Mon 16-Sep-19 04:44:05

It’s always the ones you least expect. The update about his dirty underwear tells me you’ve had a very lucky escape. He sounds incredibly odd. Chin up smile

Monty27 Mon 16-Sep-19 04:52:42

What a disappointment eh?
Onwards and upwards I guess.
I'm dreading bumping into him again. I will never unsee the state of my loo

Stephminx Mon 16-Sep-19 05:14:34

Not sure I understand - was he drunk and had had an "accident" before either going to bed to lie down or waiting for you in bed ?

meccacos2 Mon 16-Sep-19 05:15:20

Hang on.... this guy shit his pants, hid his dirty underwear in your bin, then put his pants back on and made his way to your bedroom awaiting sex.
Meanwhile he has left shit all over your bathroom???

Goodlookingcreature Mon 16-Sep-19 05:17:12

Well that’s the grimmest image I’ve ever had whilst eating porridge

boptist Mon 16-Sep-19 05:45:22

I guess that you’re trying to process what happened but I am puzzled as to what you want from this thread.

CurlyWurlyTwirly Mon 16-Sep-19 06:06:58

I think the OP just wants to talk.
She probably doesn’t want to chat about it with her friends in the pub!

Thank goodness your son came home OP.

Scrumptiousbears Mon 16-Sep-19 06:12:54

I think he'll be more embarrassed to see you on Friday.

Mummadeeze Mon 16-Sep-19 06:15:55

He should be embarrassed if you see him in the pub, you have no reason to be embarrassed whatsoever! Maybe he is struggling over his current relationship issues so I would just be cordial but not too friendly and go about your usual fun with your mates.

SnorkMaiden81 Mon 16-Sep-19 06:32:48

Thank you for making me laugh out loud at 06:30 on a Monday morning.

He shit in the bathroom bin then climbed into your bed for an act of Congress? Christ.

rwalker Mon 16-Sep-19 06:34:06

Due to the fact all ok hilarious the only think you be embarrassed about is hoping DS doesn't tell his mates . "mum brought a random home he shit everywhere and I had to hoy him out of her bed and ask him to leave".
Really wouldn't worry about seeing him again just "you shit all over my bathroom and your shitty boxers still at my house if you want to collect them" think that will keep him away form you

MaybeitsMaybelline Mon 16-Sep-19 06:42:35

Absolutely horrific.

I am going to be kind on this rare occasion and assume he was very pissed, hence him being far too friendly, shitting himself, putting dirty underwear in your bin and then getting into your bed uninvited. Thank god your DS got rid of him before he peed in the wardrobe too.

I hope he woke up the next day and remembered EVERYTHING.

MutedUser Mon 16-Sep-19 06:45:10

Was the shits caused by taking drugs? Flashback to train spotting🤢

SnorkMaiden81 Mon 16-Sep-19 06:46:44

I wonder if he's actually an alcoholic? I used to work in a hotel and we had a chap who came to stay on business, regularly, and every day the chambermaids went in to clean his room there was an empty bottle of Bells in his room bin and he'd shit the bed.
He once got it all over the pillows too.

Interestingly, the bath towels were never used, which is great for the wider environment, not so great for the immediate environment.

secondchapter Mon 16-Sep-19 07:05:14

Why gin? Should have been coffee shock

Gruzinkerbell1 Mon 16-Sep-19 07:16:06

I’m sorry but hahaha! I’m really glad you’re okay OP, and that your son was on hand to assist but good lord. You need to change his nickname to Shitty Man, for more than one reason!

Badolddays Mon 16-Sep-19 07:18:13

That’s so gross! Good job your son was around. I wonder how you would have got rid of him otherwise.

Skittlesandbeer Mon 16-Sep-19 07:34:47

You are going to be the toast of your gang of mates next Friday night. No matter you haven’t had any decent ‘shag gone wrong’ stories these last 3 years, this one makes up for it in spades!

If you’re really lucky, the ‘It and a Bit Shitter’ will make a appearance just in time for your punchline...

I really hope he was drunk enough to not remember what happened, so doesn’t know never to show his face at your pub again. Make sure everyone is well primed early. The cacophony of fart sounds greeting him could be epic!

Jayaywhynot Mon 16-Sep-19 07:49:06

Really shouldn't laugh but that's hilarious grin

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