I work four days a week as my children are school age now. I savour my one child free day to see friends, shopping, housework and others things I can get on with peacefully.
I’m in a circle of friends who meet up regularly for a coffee and it’s great to talk without any children. One of my friends has a three year old and a baby, and she requests on a regular basis if she could visit me at home. I’ve told her bluntly, it’s my one day of peace and I don’t wish to spend it entertaining her DS who is very hyper and making a mess in my house. She knows this as last visit I was scraping cake off my wallpaper due to her unruly son. Also, during the last visit she was annoyed I only had cheese and onion crisps to offer her DS, it’s public knowledge that her precious DS only consumes prawn cocktail. I’m very straightforward and I told her I’m not a supermarket thank you very much.
Now I asked her if I just pop into her house as it’s easier. She said no because she prefers my house as it is clean and smells nice. My house isn’t perfect, but I’ve always taught my sons to clean up after themselves. They are boisterous and hard work, but they know to clean up after their mess and tidy up, its their chores. My children are probably annoying to other people, but I don’t force them onto anyone else and they do behave relatively well in public. The consequences are too dire for them (no beloved Nintendo).
Now she’s asking me if I can take her clothes shopping as she wants a new wardrobe and she knows il give her my honest opinion. I said that’s fine, should we go on a Saturday so that her DP can look after the kids, she said no her DP likes Saturday to himself to relax. She still thinks the sun shines out of his lazy arse but I don’t say anything, their marriage isn’t my business. I said shopping with kids with be difficult, she said it’s fine as there’s two adults me and her, we’ll have one child each on the tube. Still, I refused to go on the tube to Bond Street with her kids, especially as her DS runs away at every opportunity.
Now, she’s asked me if I’m willing to go London Zoo with her kids, I said no as I’ve only just been in the summer with my lot. I asked her why they don’t they go as a family, she said it’s because her DP works five a days and I work four. He said if you got a friend who is available on Fridays you should take her instead. Also “if she’s a good friend then she would do it for you”. That’s really riled me up they are now emotionally trying to guilt me.
I was very close to telling her to F OFF but I didn’t and I wouldn’t. My DH tells me to just cut her off and save myself the headache.
I do like her as a person, we get on really well just not with her childr always there. They are badly behaved and I’m past the toddler stage, I don’t want to go back to that. Tell me straight up am I being a mean old cow?
AIBU?
Don’t like my friend’s annoying child
Katex888 · 15/09/2019 15:25
Nope you're not being mean..All my Dcs are school going age and I can't tolerate younger kids...Probably because I don't have to...No way would I put up with anyone elses Dcs if mine aren't home 
It sounds like she's sooner turn a blind eye to her DH who can't be arsed this two up and parent than do anything about the situation.
You're not horrible. Socialising around badly behaved and disruptive children isn't fun. It's doable as those one of kids moments where he parent is trying to resolve the situation but not as a normal way of being.
The other thing to think of is those poor kids. Shopping is full as dishwater at the best of times. A boisterous child who can be disruptive at home or at friends houses is going to be a nightmare in the shops because they're not used to it and it's boring.
Her DH sounds like a charmer. 
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