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To be worried that ds can't talk yet at 21 months old?

(66 Posts)
Username2468 Sat 14-Sep-19 09:32:35

Ds is 21 months old and can't talk yet, he just babbles. He seems to understand when I say certain things. If I say food names he walks towards the kitchen and if I say upstairs nappy change he walks towards the living room door to go upstairs. He doesn't turn round when I say his name though and only stops momentarily when I say "no" and then tries to continue what he is doing. He isn't that interested in toys except his bead maze and moving trucks along the floor. He prefers to run around lots and climb on the furniture. He can't use the shape sorter toy properly yet but he can put the shapes into the correct place on an app on my phone.

I'm really worried he is behind in his development. Should I ring the health visitor office? My Mil said aren't we really worried that he can't talk yet, are you not talking to him. I talk to him lots, but I'm worried is it enough. Am I not doing enough, is it my fault? Am I a bad mother?

Curious2468 Sat 14-Sep-19 09:34:54

Talk to your hv. Does your area do 2 year checks? All kids do things at different speeds so it’s likely nothing to worry about. How is he socially? Does he have any sensory difficulties?

Maniak Sat 14-Sep-19 09:35:40

You are not a bad mother! 21 months is quite late to say no words at all, but some kids are late to start talking. There's huge variation. Maybe get his hearing checked?

Reversiblesequinsforadults Sat 14-Sep-19 09:39:27

Is he talking to you as though he is having a conversation but the words don't make sense? If so, he might have the language but not be able to pronounce the words yet. 21 months is still young. You'll get your 2 year check so ask the health visitor then. I'd only be concerned if he wasn't attempting to communicate with you. All children are different and develop differently.

Username2468 Sat 14-Sep-19 09:42:16

Not sure about 2 year checks. I have had no contact from health visitors since they checked him when he was about 10 months old. When I take him to playgroup he just looks at other toddlers and runs around lots on his own.

HaveIGoneMad Sat 14-Sep-19 09:47:51

At 21m my daughter wasn't talking, and was definitely more interested in climbing than playing nicely with her toys, her 'two year check' was done at 30 months by which time she had about 10 words (not many at all), I brought it up and they weren't too concerned but we're going to keep an eye on it. About a month later her vocabulary exploded and today she is 3 and a half and never, ever stops talking and is incredibly clever.
It might be something so if you are worried do contact your HV, but equally it could be absolutely nothing so try not to worry too much.

Username2468 Sat 14-Sep-19 09:49:56

Not sure he is making lots of attempts to communicate. If he wants something he makes a whinning noise until i help him, he gets what he wants. When I read his favourite book outloud without the book, the each peach pear plum book he smiles at me whike I say it. His main babble word sounds like "a book" and something that sounds like my DH's name. If I say chocolate plus his name he immediately turns his head to me.

Cornettoninja Sat 14-Sep-19 09:50:38

All dd’s checks were around the ages they were due but never actually bang on the ages I’d expected. Definitely give you HV a call and discuss your concerns, that’s what they’re there for smile

I think it’s a great sign that he clearly comprehends words and I don’t think he’s outside the realms of normal yet. Some kids just don’t start talking till they see the need to. Is he in childcare of any sort? I’ve noticed kids talk a bit earlier/clearer if they need to communicate with people not used to anticipating their particular needs in other ways.

The playing along side, but not with, other children is completely normal. They don’t really start playing together till 3+. Then it’s mostly battling over the same toy! grin

Mammyloveswine Sat 14-Sep-19 09:50:46

Ds1 is 3.5 and only now speaks in full sentences. He didn't really talk properly until around 3. I was worried sick.

I no longer am but I pushed fir referrals to speech therapy and to the paediatrician.

DS2 is 20 months and babbles away, says about 30 words and sings songs. He counts 1,2,3 too and follows instructions. Loves a shape sorter, loves cars etc. Loves climbing and running.

Does your ds respond to singing? Does he have any words at all?

The average is 50 words by 2 as then they start putting words together.

Ds1 had around 20 and I kept a list on my phone I was that worried.

You can refer to speech therapy through your health visitor. The speech therapist told me that they prefer seeing children when they are very young whereas they used to wait until children were nearer 4.

Maniak Sat 14-Sep-19 09:51:05

Yeah tbh I wouldn't be too worried. I only said about getting his hearing checked because you seem worried, OP. I think that sometimes active boys are slow to start talking. One of my sons didn't really start saying words until after he was 2. He's great with language now (8). Also running around on their own is normal. On the other hand, some kids need grommets (?)

moita Sat 14-Sep-19 09:51:28

Your MIL's comment was silly. I don't think children play with each other until much later (my son has only just really started at 2.5yrs and has no developmental issues) so don't worry about that.

I'd book a GP appointment if you're concerned they might be able to sign post you somewhere. My city has SALT drop in clinics but I know it differs on where you live.

Cornettoninja Sat 14-Sep-19 09:52:15

Oh and just to add, I can watch old videos of dd now and clearly hear words that I didn’t pick up at the time because my ear is much more attuned to her now she talks (non-stop).

BikeRunSki Sat 14-Sep-19 09:53:48

DS could say about 10 words at his 2 yr check. 3 months later he told his nursery nurse that I was having another baby Bd I wasn’t very well. This was all true, but we hadn’t specifically told him. From then on he starred speaking more and more abd his vocabulary grew massively every day. He’s 11 now and very verbose!

Username2468 Sat 14-Sep-19 09:53:49

HaveIGoneMad thanks, think ill ring health visitor office asking about a 2 year check and mention that he isn't taking yet.

PrincessPain Sat 14-Sep-19 09:56:39

DS turned 2 last month and can only say Mom, Dad and Bye (while he waves and blows kisses).
I'm waiting for the 2 year check up and I'm worried. Hes not in childcare and we do talk to him.
He definitely has ways to communicate without using words. If hes thirsty he brings his cup over, or tired he tries to go upstairs to bed.
I don't think he has a reason to use words. He babbles lots to me and to himself, also babbles along to music when the radio is on.
I am worried and keep crossing my fingers his vocabulary will explode like other peoples stories, but no luck yet.

PrincessPain Sat 14-Sep-19 09:57:45

Also, every thing else in your description describes my DS. The climbing, the ignoring No, only liking his beads.

imnotinthemood Sat 14-Sep-19 09:57:47

Both my dc has a 18 month Check up . This was where it was picked up my ds non verbal just baby babble by hv . Hopefully it's nothing but definitely get it checked out .

Embracelife Sat 14-Sep-19 10:02:07

Far better to get help early then sign out of it when no longer needed

See if there is drop in SLT sessions you can take him to.
Ask HV to refer by the time he gets appt he will be two. If he s talking sentences by then then you can cancel.

Talk to ican www.ican.org.uk/how-we-support-children/

Embracelife Sat 14-Sep-19 10:03:08

And do makaton watch something g special to support communication

gazingahead Sat 14-Sep-19 10:03:59

DS didn't have any words till he was 3. He very clearly understood everything but would say EEEEE and point at things rather than use the word. He started speaking quite quickly at 3 when he went to nursery and pretty much caught up and became very articulate. Much later on we found out he is massively dyslexic and talking to other mothers they have exactly the same late-talking story to tell. It seems like it's an indicator of dyslexia, but I've no idea how strong an indicator.

Certainly anecdotally, boys can start speaking really late.

BTW dyslexia is a superpower in many ways so don't see that as a bad possible outcome!

Minai Sat 14-Sep-19 10:05:22

Definitely worth talking to your hv if you are worried but I think it’s fairly normal. My ds1 said maybe 10 words at 21 months. I got a lot of comments from people and I always told them no I wasn’t worried and he’d get there in his own time. He’s 2.3 now and in the last 3 months he’s had a language explosion and is saying hundreds of words now and putting together 3-4 word sentences. If he’s understanding you I wouldn’t worry too much

EmeraldShamrock Sat 14-Sep-19 10:06:28

It won't hurt to speak to the HV.
If he starts in the meantime great but if not services can take along time.

CardsforKittens Sat 14-Sep-19 10:09:23

My daughter was quite late talking. She has dyspraxia (obviously we didn’t know that when she was a toddler) and I think her auditory processing is affected but her hearing was checked and it’s fine. Oh, and ever since she started talking it’s been a challenge to get her to stop. She’s a teenager now and only stops talking when she’s asleep.

BrigitsBigKnickers Sat 14-Sep-19 10:13:09

Definitely get his hearing checked- has he had colds or ear infections? Glue ear can be common at this age and can cause speech and language delays.

Having said that I know a number of children who didn't speak till after their 2nd birthday and are now fine. The comprehension comes first and it seems like he is understanding you so I wouldn't worry just yet.

And don't beat yourself up. Your MiL sounds very judgemental and insensitive. 😡

LL83 Sat 14-Sep-19 10:28:02

My dd didnt talk at 24 months I was worried. HV told me as long as she understands and can communicate (point at cup for a drink etc) then not to worry. She was speaking as well as her peers by 27 months.

Go to health visitor but try not to worry too much.

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