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To be pissed off at restaurant manager?

(77 Posts)
Poptasmagorical Thu 12-Sep-19 18:48:37

I took my parents and kids out for dinner tonight and when we were ordering, the manager tried to tell my 8yo that he couldn’t have chips on their own. At the time i thought he was joking so just explained to him that my DS is autistic and was about to get very upset. The manager said ‘you could have warned me’ like I should put a label on my DS or something! I went from thinking he was joking to thinking he was a bit rude, but no harm. Some people don’t know how to respond. Whatever.

However, when he brought the meals over he leaned down to me and asked if I’d seen the restaurant’s Facebook page. ‘It’s not a criticism, just an observation,’ he said as he walked back to fetch something. I looked up the Facebook page and the post he was referring to was the one that’s been doing the rounds about fussy eaters going blind. I was livid.

When he came back I told him I was really offended, and particularly when I’d already explained to him that chips are the only thing on their menu that my DS eats. He got a bit shirty and told me I couldn’t take offence because he didn’t intend any. Eventually he just snapped ‘I apologise’ and walked away.

AIBU to think it was disgusting of him to do that? Even if he hadn’t known my DS is autistic, it’s none of his business what my family eat (and it definitely won’t be his business now as I won’t be going back!).

My Mum thinks I was BU because he was just trying to point out that good nutrition is important. (I’m also a bit pissed off that when I went to the loo and the manager went across and spoke to her about not wanting to offend me she told him not to worry about it, but that’s another AIBU.)

It’s a village restaurant that’s technically a pub, if you know the kind I mean, so we had paid when we ordered. I think I would have just walked out if we hadn’t.

ZzzMarchhare Thu 12-Sep-19 18:51:53

He sounds like a dick and I would never go back. It is none of his business- he is not a dietitian but a restaurant manager.

SpaceDinosaur Thu 12-Sep-19 18:52:22

Who's it owned by? A lot of "independent" looking places are owned by larger companies.

Honestly, YA NOT BA.

Want to advise on good nutrition? Don't work in a pub or most restaurants TBH.

You should NEVER need to justify the food you are paying for unless it's requesting a whole cucumber and a tub of chocolate spread ...and only then if you want to.

8by8 Thu 12-Sep-19 18:52:58

He’s a dick.

Cleopatrai Thu 12-Sep-19 18:54:05

Do they not serve chips on their own ?

Woodlandwitch Thu 12-Sep-19 18:54:26

I would have felt so hurt

He’s a dick

AnAC12UCOinanOCG Thu 12-Sep-19 18:54:35

Wow, what a twat. You just don't comment on what a stranger is eating/ordering, and especially not when you're representing the restaurant.

FFSDH Thu 12-Sep-19 18:54:58

He sounds a bit odd but I don’t think it would annoy me that much. He sounds like he doesn’t have very good social skills.

EerieSilence Thu 12-Sep-19 18:55:59

He's a total dick and had no right to judge you like this. He should keep his opinions to himself, especially when it's paying customers who didn't insult him or the staff and were decent and polite.
They have a FB page? Cool, write your review on it.

Poptasmagorical Thu 12-Sep-19 18:56:08

@Cleopatrai they do serve chips just on their own! That’s the thing: if I was going off-menu then I could see why he might have been off with me when I was ordering, but I still wouldn’t expect a parenting judgement.

Poptasmagorical Thu 12-Sep-19 18:57:19

@Woodlandwitch I really did feel very hurt. I wanted to cry.

Poptasmagorical Thu 12-Sep-19 18:58:24

@EerieSilence I thought the same but my mum and dad eat there a lot and I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable, especially as my mum has apparently told him not to worry about it!! I’m not sure what to do.

Chocolatemouse84 Thu 12-Sep-19 18:58:31

You are not at all unreasonable. I often walk the kids and dog to a pub where I get the kids chips and a muffin each cos it's cheap... It's a nice way to finish the walk. None of his business at all what you or your kids eat.

WhatTiggersDoBest Thu 12-Sep-19 18:58:53

YANBU. He's probably annoyed he didn't get the money for another main course and he's mansplaining and can't accept he's cocked up. Your mother had no place buying into his drama but she probably didn't know how to react when he kept coming back to your table pressing the point.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz Thu 12-Sep-19 18:59:58

Complete twat. It was absolutely none of his business and he's clearly an unprofessional dick.

Agree you should leave a FB review and email his manager. There is a serious training and courtesy intervention required here.

And for what it's worth, sometimes nothing can beat hot, fresh salty chips with a shit tonne of ketchup on. Your DS is a total dude grin

Purpleartichoke Thu 12-Sep-19 19:01:15

If lived near you, I would want to know the name of the establishment so I can avoid taking my own autistic picky eater. We frequently place orders like that for her.

Nutrition happens at home where we have more control and we aim for balance over the day/week, never in a particular meal.

PickTheLock Thu 12-Sep-19 19:01:49

My Mum thinks I was BU because he was just trying to point out that good nutrition is important

Its got fuck all to do with him what his customers eat.

SummerHouse Thu 12-Sep-19 19:02:28

Strange man. I would send everyone I know in to order chips only. He will go blind with the stress of it!

noenergy Thu 12-Sep-19 19:02:34

Yanbu. How insensitive of him.

My kids eat a varied diet at home but when we go out they turn into fussy eaters and I often order just chips when out or a plain roll.

Bitchfeatures Thu 12-Sep-19 19:02:56

YANBU, He's a arsehole that needs to keep his nose out.

Cleopatrai Thu 12-Sep-19 19:03:51

Then he was being very unreasonable !

BookwormMe2 Thu 12-Sep-19 19:04:19

I'd be calling him out on his FB page for being an insensitive dick in dealing with an autistic child and for ramming his unsolicited opinions down customers' throats.

CodenameVillanelle Thu 12-Sep-19 19:05:21

So you ordered a portion of chips and he judged you for letting your DS just eat chips? He can get to fuck!
If I take DS to a pub to eat (for a group event for eg) he'll only eat garlic bread and chips so that's what he gets. He's not ASC but he is vegetarian and fussy, so unless they do a kid's portion of pasta he won't eat anything else. I am happy for him to eat beige food on the odd occasion and he eats healthy food that he likes at home! What an absolute sanctimonious, patronising prick.

LondonJax Thu 12-Sep-19 19:07:03

Let the area manager know. The man needs customer service training or a different job as he's obviously not suited to the role.

It's not his place to offer nutritional advice, it's his place to serve food. If he can't manage that without a snide remark he'd be better off doing something else.

I've emailed the head office of a pub chain before as we waited over 30 minutes for a sandwich each (cold, not even toasted) and was told, when I complained, that it'd be ready when it was ready and the more I complained the longer it'd take. The area manager was mortified - so was the waitress when he went in to speak to her and the manager about I would guess but that's her problem.

Flamingo84 Thu 12-Sep-19 19:07:06

What a CFer!
For all he knew that order was your son’s weekly treat. Short of writing down the order and handing it to the kitchen it’s none of his business what your table ordered.

Doubt he would have made any comments to an adult who ordered a big meal.

Not only was he rude enough to give his unsolicited opinion but then he came back and made a veiled insult by directing you to their Facebook page. (Also what restaurant would highlight that article on their Facebook in reference to fussy eaters?! Way to alienate any struggling parents there) If it is part of a chain, I feel that branch has gone way off message with this.

I would have been very annoyed. It’s not up to him or the restaurant to point out what is nutritional for children. I’m sure their menu is full of desserts, fatty foods etc so they can’t be that shocked by an order of chips!

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