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AIBU to ask friend to remove her dog from the room when I visit with my child?

(389 Posts)
BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 21:56:02

I’ve recently had a baby and I have been taking my baby to see friends, one friend has quite a large breed of dog. I have asked her before I visit to remove the dog from the room temporarily whilst we are there. She’s agreed but when I turn up she hasn’t done it, nor is she willing to.

I understand it’s her home if she wants her dog in every room that’s her right. I just end up leaving as I will not take my baby inside. She refuses to meet up elsewhere.

So AIBU to ask her to remove her dog from the room we are in temporarily?

Thanks guys smile

Sayhellotothethings Wed 11-Sep-19 21:57:21

Depends. Why do you want her to move the dog? What has or hasn't it done?

Rachie1973 Wed 11-Sep-19 21:57:24

I kind of think you are.

It’s her home, but you’re of course equally ok to not visit.

Applejack5 Wed 11-Sep-19 21:58:11


Why does she refuse to meet up elsewhere?

seeleym Wed 11-Sep-19 21:58:10

Just don't visit, it's up to her what she does with her dog in her own house.

hollip0pz Wed 11-Sep-19 21:59:46

It’s her dog and her house so her choice, but if she refuses knowing that it means you won’t visit/enter the house, and she won’t meet up with you elsewhere, maybe she just isn’t bothered about seeing you? (Sorry I know that sounds harsh!)

BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 21:59:56

My baby is tiny and the dog is a large breed and I just can’t trust it. I think I’m asking as she agrees to it then doesn’t do it when I turn up

Celebelly Wed 11-Sep-19 22:00:25

I think YABU unless there's something worrying about the dog's behaviour. If it's just that it's a reasonably large dog and exists, then I don't really see how you can ask for it not to be there. Presumably you will be holding your baby anyway? If it bothers you, I just wouldn't visit.

DawgLover Wed 11-Sep-19 22:00:55

You're well within your rights to ask, she's within her rights to refuse so you are therefore not unreasonable if you don't go over.

She shouldn't agree and then renege once you are there. Either she's happy to, or isn't, and should say upfront.

kaytee87 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:01:05

Unless you're about to dripfeed that its a known baby killer then yabu.
Every dog I've met has either sniffed a baby half heartedly or ignored it.
It's her home, if you don't want your baby around a dog then don't visit a home with a dog in it.

BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 22:01:35

Sorry that doesn’t make sense lol. She agrees to do it then I turn up & she hasn’t done it I mean to say.
Hollip maybe your right

Drogosnextwife Wed 11-Sep-19 22:01:49

So just keep your baby in your arms. What kind of dog is it?

LolaSmiles Wed 11-Sep-19 22:02:14

It depends.
Just because you have a child and their dog is big, probably not. I'd be happier having my child around a bigger dog as they are (generally) much more chilled out and less snappy.

You both need to be prepared that this stalemate will affect the friendship.

WeMustGetOffTheMountain Wed 11-Sep-19 22:02:59

I'd be more worried about snappy smaller breeds... So as a dog owner I am inclined to say YABU. However, if my dog made someone uneasy then I would just put her in the kitchen for the duration of the visit. Although I don't agree with your reasoning for not wanting the dog near your baby, YANBU.

Iamacyclist Wed 11-Sep-19 22:03:06

She doesn’t sound like a great friend.


We’ve got a baby and there are a couple of people we don’t visit at their homes due to “dog issues”. We see them on neutral territory or at our house, without dogs.

BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 22:03:12

Applejack5 she doesn’t like to lever the house. She just prefers to stay at home I guess

messolini9 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:04:30

She's being a dick.
I love dogs, cant be without one, but any reasonable person will u understand & make allowances for those who don't feel the same.
She's being rather odd to agree then renege - is this a totally what happens, or are you passionate Ely waiting for her to remove the dog, & not speaking up?

LolaSmiles Wed 11-Sep-19 22:05:06

If she doesn't want to leave the house then she must have already accepted that she's limiting her friendship pool. Not many people would be interested in sustaining a friendship based on one way accomodation.

BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 22:05:26

Drogonsnextwife it’s a cross maybe a staff cross. IMO the dog is very territorial which makes me uncomfortable

messolini9 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:05:45

Ffs spellcheck "passively waiting"
Dog knows where 'Ely' came from ...

Sayhellotothethings Wed 11-Sep-19 22:06:07

You still haven't said what you aren't comfortable with, so I'm going to assume that it's just the fact it is large, in which case YABU. If it doesn't do anything to warrant concern when you have a baby, just keep LO in your arms and don't let the dog too near. It's your friend's house and if her dog is chilled out with babies and visitors, why should she have to move it?

LittleAndOften Wed 11-Sep-19 22:06:43

You're at an impasse. I don't really see how this situation is going to change unless she either leaves her house or puts the dog away. If she's not willing to do either then you'll have to let the friendship go.

BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 22:07:22

Messonlini9 I have spoken up after going 3 times and leaving 3 times without entering the house. I have now just refused to visit. But I am unsure as to whether this is a reasonable request

UrsulaPandress Wed 11-Sep-19 22:07:56

Just don’t go.

Do you need to see her?

BadBehaviour Wed 11-Sep-19 22:08:57

Sayhellotothethings I have said I feel the dog is territorial.

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