Okay I’m posting here for traffic and advice for a friend.
She’s living in rented accommodation with two DCs. She’s been unhappy in her relationship for a long time but she was worried and isn’t financially secure without her partner. Ie she would be on benefits without him, her quality of life for her children would change(she currently also works part time), her dcs are 9 and just turned 3. Her youngest is with her current partner.
She has tried to end things before, I think emotional abuse is taking place and threats. Which have kept them together. They’re not in a sexual relationship, it’s happened rarely, couple of times a year and she’s said she feels raped and sick. She’s told him this.
Anyway she set up benefits two months ago with a view to ask him to leave. (He isn’t on the tenancy) shes not one for confrontation and has told him she doesn’t love him and wants him to leave, but he isn’t going willingly. It came to a head this Monday and she said she wants him out Friday.
He’s refusing to leave saying he wants more time(which he’s said before then worked on her) now his sister who works for a government body which has something to do with benefits is threatening to report her if she doesn’t give him another month. For claiming already. She’s used the money for rent, she isn’t hoarding or saving it, if she was made to pay back what she owed she’d be in a worse situation. Her partner gambles his main earnings, so the money he didn’t give her for rent is also lost.
She’s in a pickle, they argue daily and he isn’t kind to her elder ds. He’s desperate, saying he’ll kill himself, damage goods. He’s taking days off work so she’s stuck with him in the house currently.
I suggested changing the locks but I’m worried about his sister reporting her, she didn’t attend to commit benefit fraud. She’s vulnerable and was trying to get things in place as she has two children to think of.
Any advice welcome, please go easy I’m showing her all replies.
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Should she change the locks?
49 replies
Breastfeedingworries · 11/09/2019 07:25
OP posts:
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