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To ask son who was staying with me to leave for being awful to my cat

(206 Posts)
Crystalcrazy Tue 10-Sep-19 23:18:19

My son is in his early 20’s and has come to stay with me for a few days as he usually works away.

I have a two year old cat who likes to pounce on your feet when walking past. She’s not aggressive, it’s only playing.

Tonight I heard him shouting and went to see what had happened. He said the cat had chased him and tried to bite him and if she did it again he would kick her. I tried to explain she was playing but he was very angry and insisted he would kick her if she did it again.

At the point I said his behaviour was unacceptable and it may be best if he stayed with his dad who lives nearby.

He has now gone, I have text him to say I don’t want to fall out but no answer.

I honestly felt uneasy leaving him with her while I’m at work tomorrow. She’s a house cat so couldn’t go out.

Did I overreact?

DocusDiplo Tue 10-Sep-19 23:19:25


KatherineJaneway Tue 10-Sep-19 23:20:55

No you didn't overreact. Cats do play with feet or give feet a swipe on occasion. He sounds like an immature arse.

frazzledasarock Tue 10-Sep-19 23:20:56

He’s in his 20’s and threatened to physically hurt your cat?

No, you did the right thing sending him to stay at his dads.

ladyratterley Tue 10-Sep-19 23:21:59

No! You didn’t.
He was being a dick, wouldn’t back down when you explained the cat wouldn’t hurt him, and threatened to hurt your pet.

Sunshine93 Tue 10-Sep-19 23:22:12

You did yes. I would be very hurt to be thrown out by my mum for an angry outburst. Be thinks the cat was trying to bite him is he used t cats.Unless there's a dripfeed where he's generally cruel to animals I think you were extreme.

Shouldcolder Tue 10-Sep-19 23:22:27

Yes!!! He’s your son and your cat pounced! Have you always had a difficult relationship?

Badcat666 Tue 10-Sep-19 23:22:27

No, he was being a complete cunt and I have no doubt he would have kicked your cat.

he is in his 20s, not 2. If he can't respect your property and your pet he can fuck off to his dads.

alltoomuchrightnow Tue 10-Sep-19 23:23:46

no!!! if anything you under reacted. I'd have gone absolutely apeshit

dellacucina Tue 10-Sep-19 23:23:57

No. Threatening to kick an innocent animal is not on

NeedAJobQuick Tue 10-Sep-19 23:25:34

No. And he needs to grow up. Kick a cat indeed. Ffs 🙄

mbosnz Tue 10-Sep-19 23:27:05

No, you didn't. He gave you fair warning about what he'd do to an animal who was just behaving as their species do. You took him at his word, and told him what would be the consequences. He took himself off.

Quite sensible all round. And he needs to learn some self control. At his age, to lash out at something or someone that is behaving in a perfectly natural and logical manner for their level of development, can have serious consequences. For that being and for himself.

Densol999 Tue 10-Sep-19 23:27:20

Animal ( cat ) lovers on MN's - no no no - Id write him out of your will too - bastard
Cat haters ( like me ) Yep - total over reaction. Id have done more than kick it grin ( Im joking !!!! ....)

TinklyLittleLaugh Tue 10-Sep-19 23:27:22

I would absolutely hate to have a cat pouncing and biting at my feet. Not saying I’d kick it, but I’d certainly try to deter it. Not very one loves cats.

RosaWaiting Tue 10-Sep-19 23:28:08

You did the right thing
It wasn’t a poor taste comment, it sounds like he fully intended to do it.

Sistersis Tue 10-Sep-19 23:29:21

You are saying some animal is more important than your son and that you are content for him to be attacked by it. Like he said he felt attacked.

The cat is yours not his, he is yours. Don't think you'll ever see parent cats put their humans before their litter.

Better off at his dad's, doesn't even sound like you want him around.

Sunshine93 Tue 10-Sep-19 23:30:09

27Densol999 so true.

I am not suggesting it would be ok for him to kick your cat. Saying it is not doing it.

If I get angry with DH because he does something that upsets me and say "I could kill you for doing that" does that mean he should call the police because I have threatened murder?

raskolnikova Tue 10-Sep-19 23:30:28

No you didn't overreact. He's a grown man and should not be threatening to kick his mother's pet.

Barbel Tue 10-Sep-19 23:30:30

I would be tempted to kick anything that was jumping or pouncing at me. How bloody annoying. And I'm 100% type of person that my pets are my life.
You might have over reacted a bit but hopefully it's not too serious and can be patched up with your son

mbosnz Tue 10-Sep-19 23:33:46

He said he 'would' kick the cat if it did it again. Not that he 'could'.

OP is responsible for the cats' welfare. Her son is a grown man, who is able to provide for himself in a way the cat can't, and who should be able to apply some logic and self control to the situation in a way that a cat can't. But apparently he either wouldn't or couldn't. So he did the next best thing. Removed himself from the situation.

This is the cats' home. The cat can't remove itself from the situation. It's entirely dependent on the humans for its wellbeing.

FrancisCrawford Tue 10-Sep-19 23:34:33

Your son behaved like a petulant teenager.
It’s never okay to threaten to hurt an animal

Mind you, the mental picture of an adult male running away from a cat is quite amusing.

UndomesticHousewife Tue 10-Sep-19 23:35:54

If any of my dc said that about our dog I wouldn't ask them to leave because I know they would never hurt him or any other animal, I'd assume they were in a bad mood or something although I wouldn't be impressed with them saying that.
So you must think that your son would actually kick your cat and hurt an animal for you to do that.
Doesn't make him a very nice person. We go to sil house she has an evil cat who lies in wait and swipes you as you go past , no one threatens to kick it we just jump ahead and avoid the cat because we don't hurt animals.

SinisterBumFacedCat Tue 10-Sep-19 23:36:37

Cat lover here, only really met one cat that acted like that and it was pedigree who was kept in doors all day. You son should not be threatening to kick it but you really should train your cat not to attack random people.

lilypips Tue 10-Sep-19 23:38:09

Christ, I have said to DH in many occasions I'm going to kill the kids. Obviously I'm not going to.

Did he kick the cat? Or were you just wanting him out?

cricketmum84 Tue 10-Sep-19 23:39:46

* train your cat not to attack random people.*

Train your cat 😂😂😂😂 funniest thing ever! Humans do not train cats. Cats train humans! Look at us making sure they have their favourite food out. Toys to play with, snuggles and strokes but only on their terms!

OP I wouldn't have anyone in my house who threatened my cat either.

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