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Really sick of phone calls from DH's work

(12 Posts)
tallulah Thu 09-Aug-07 09:17:45

DH is one of several night managers in a supermarket. He works 4 nights out of 7. I am really getting fed up with his work keep ringing him at home. They are now regularly ringing 2-3 times a week. I just let the phone ring yesterday (he was asleep) and the message was that he is going on a course next week and so and so is off- general work stuff.

When we were away on holiday they rang on his mobile every evening.. driving through the Blackpool Illuminations is not the best time to be discussing scheduling problems!

My argument is that my work don't phone me when I'm at home and I don't ring him at work with domestic problems. He is physically at work for about 60 hours a week ( a lot of that unpaid overtime) which is plenty of time to sort out any work-related queries and problems.

I am sick of this intrusion into our personal life. He won't tell them to stop. AIBU if I tell them to stop calling?

FioFio Thu 09-Aug-07 09:19:13

Message withdrawn

Sunshinemummy Thu 09-Aug-07 09:20:51

Afraid you can't interfere. I also have this problem with my DP and he runs one of two UK business units for his company. We've even had calls on Xmas Eve, late at night, and he's also away a lot with work (evenings and weekends) so he also puts in more than his fare share, however; it's his work. In some ways you have to learn to put up with some of it, but calling you on holiday is unreasonable IMO. I would try talking to him again about what is and isn't acceptable and see if you can negotiate a compromise solution that he can then put to work.

Nemo2007 Thu 09-Aug-07 09:21:50

think it depends on the job, dh is constantly phoned but luckily it is on his mobile not house phone. Even so he always answers which annoys me.

PrettyCandles Thu 09-Aug-07 09:29:52

YANBU but you have to be careful how you say it to them. If they do bnot consider it inappropriate to intrude inyto his personal time so much, then they make take it out on him if you interfere. A daybook helps with communication across shifts. I thi nk your dh would have to set one up and say "I don't want to be phoned on my time off unless it is really critical. Please use this book to leave me messages that I can read at the begining of my shift, and I will keep you briefed through it on my shift, too."

I dealt with a similar situation from my work by using an ansaphone to filter calls. If I didn't pick up within 5 rings it went to ansaphone. I left the volume turned up so that I could hear who was leaving a messafge and choose whether to pick up. I never replied to a call which I felt was not urgent or with which they could deal themselves.

On holiday switch the mobile off unless you have a good reason for leaving it on. Check voicemail every so often. Do not return calls unless critically necessary.

kslatts Thu 09-Aug-07 09:30:45

Work often phone me at home and I always say it is okay to call while I am holiday if it is really urgent. They only ever call me mobile though, if we are ever anywhere I don't want to receive calls I turn the phone off.

Leati Thu 09-Aug-07 09:36:44


My husbands a manager and it is the same way. All days of the week and all hours of the day, they call. They call to tell him they are sick, they call for advice, they call to CHAT, and they call for general business stuff that probably could wait. The thing is he is a manager and that is part of the job. At first, I got frustrated but now I am used to it.

Try vacationing somewhere with poor reception .

chopchopbusybusy Thu 09-Aug-07 09:44:32

It depends how he feels about it really. My DH would hate this. He is officially on call sometimes and obviously that is part of his job, but to be called on a day off to be told that he is on a course is unnecessary. I also strongly feel that if you are on holiday you should not be contacted by work unless it really is a dire emergency which cannot be dealt with by anyone else. I have worked as a manager and would not have been happy to have received calls at home which were not a matter of extreme urgency.

tallulah Thu 09-Aug-07 10:40:56

Apparently there is a communication book at work so I've no idea why they feel the need to call so often. It is never anything urgent (except once when he brought the keys home- that sort of thing I don't mind), just general stuff that could wait till he goes back.

General concensus then I shouldn't say anything?

Sunshinemummy Thu 09-Aug-07 11:21:06

I think you need to raise it with your DH and get him to do something about it. Maybe you could do what we do with my boss. When he's on holiday if we need him for anything we text him and he calls us back at a convenient time. It does sound like your DH has to put his foot down as calling him for non-urgent things isn't really appropriate.

alicet Thu 09-Aug-07 12:30:02

I don't think you are being unreasonable to be irritated by this. I don't think they should be ringing him about non urgent stuff like this at home - they should be dealing it when he's at work. Obviously with shift work though it may be several days / weeks even before shifts overlap with someone you need to speak to which is why the communications book is a good idea.

However although YANBU to be annoyed its actually your dh's battle not yours. Unfortunately if he's not bothered by it then I don't think there is anything you can do beyond discussing it with him and then leaving it to him whether he does anything about it or not.

ruddynorah Thu 09-Aug-07 12:37:50

i'm a night manager too and i often take calls at any time and make calls at any time to other managers. because we all do odd shifts it's the easiest way to communicate with each other. we do have a handover book, but this usually results in someone ringing to clarify what's been written in it. easier to just chat about it.

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