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Manager won’t let me go to my wedding

(245 Posts)
Biggobyboo Sat 31-Aug-19 18:36:20

I’m a mature student (Master’s degree) and I’ve previously worked in professional office jobs. I’ve recently started a part time job on a make-up counter to earn some pin money and to get me out of the house. I always thought it seemed like a fun job and I like skincare and cosmetics.

When I sent back my contract to HR I mentioned I had my wedding coming up and a week off for my honeymoon. They said that was no problem.

I started the job and discovered my manager has the week of my honeymoon booked off for a holiday and flies out on my wedding day. The full time assistant is being a bridesmaid at another wedding that day so there is no cover in the store.

My manager said I cannot have the time off. I thought she was joking so I said “sure, I’ll just re-arrange it for the following week then!” She said that I should make it at least a couple of weeks after HER holiday. I explained that it wasn’t possible to cancel my wedding and she said it was a shame I wasn’t showing my dedication to the brand and being a team player so early on in the job. No more has been said as she has gone off sick so it’s just me and the other assistant. I can’t do too much (paid) overtime as I’m studying so she’s being funny with me. I’m contracted for 15 hours a week but I’m doing 22.5 hours currently to cover. The brand is recruiting for another part time assistant.

So should I just hand in my week’s notice now or wait until the week of my wedding? If I leave now, the other assistant will have nobody else so there will be no cover. The store is open around 60 hours a week but I’ve noticed the other brands leave their counters unmanned a lot of the time where they have no staff.

If I leave just before the wedding there will still be no cover for that weekend.

Any ideas? I’ve never worked anywhere this crazy before!

EllenMP Mon 02-Sep-19 13:47:28

Wait for HR to sort it out. It's not your responsibility to make sure the counter is covered.

Biggobyboo Mon 02-Sep-19 13:11:28

It was a tricky situation, obviously nobody could cancel their leave and lose money. Just like I couldn’t cancel the wedding losing my (parent’s) money and my guests have booked flights / hotels which aren’t refundable.

But I don’t know why cover couldn’t have been found from other stores or internally in the first instance.

Anyway, HR rang me this morning and were really nice. I explained what had happened. They said that they were sourcing cover and that I would be paid my outstanding salary at the end of the month.

I also had a phone call offering me some temp work locally in higher education which I’m really happy with! I made sure to mention the wedding and honeymoon in the phone call and then followed up via email. It also pays a lot more and no weekend working.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare Mon 02-Sep-19 09:42:34

BTW when I was writing up my PhD I could go for days without speaking to anyone. However, I always went for a morning run and had 3 hours gardening/siesta time in the afternoon so I could at least get outside.
Just saying.

Ilikethisone Mon 02-Sep-19 08:58:05

The manager actually expected the OP to rearrange her own wedding.

As a manager, that is not a good response. It would be to go speak to HR and try and find a way round it.

Yes, HR probably shouldn't have I'd the holidays. But the manager was an arse, especially to a new member of staff.

PunketteMum Mon 02-Sep-19 08:53:31

Exactly Wiltom.

It's HRs fault, who imagine have never had to cancel their own leave.

I'm quite shocked by the responses on here, I guess the nasty manager is behaving in such a bizarre way because it's either OP or the manager who will have to cancel their leave.

It's the shop/brands fault for such skeleton staffing. This then leaves it all on the manager (for not great pay) who in desperation has only persuasion to get shifts covered.

It's a crap job but probably not just done for pin money.

I suppose people who have never had/don't have friends with operational jobs just don't get the pressure on front line in many industries.

Wiltom Mon 02-Sep-19 07:58:34

Did you get the time of confirmed in writing at the start of the job? IF you manager is being cruel and showing no compassion towards the situation then they are not nice. BUT if she really has no cover then HR have really dropped her in it. HR should sort it for both of you somehow. You should get to go to your wedding but likewise she should not have a department without staff due to your wedding.

CharityDingle Mon 02-Sep-19 00:15:25

Ah well, at least it was just for pin money so you had a choice to walk out. Enjoy your wedding.

heeebeee Mon 02-Sep-19 00:14:51


‘It's not crazy, is it? You started a job without getting your annual leave authorised in writing. That's no one's fault but your own.’

Whaaat? She said she was getting married and needed the time off. Utterly unreasonable to think anything different! Are you on the same planet?

gilliansgardenbench Sun 01-Sep-19 23:33:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BumbleBeee69 Sun 01-Sep-19 23:32:36

Well done OP. flowers

madcatladyforever Sun 01-Sep-19 23:32:31

Leave now and don't go back. They are ridiculous.

HelenaDove Sun 01-Sep-19 23:30:15

I had a manager who insisted on doctors appointments being booked on your day off Fair enough but then she would change your day off with no notice at shut up of shop 5.30pm the night before, then moan when you try to attend your appointment and say "You wont be able to go if it gets too busy"

I strongly believe this is whats behind a good number of no shows to GP appointments. Bullying employers and managers

TeaLibrary Sun 01-Sep-19 23:29:24

Well done OP. Sounds like you are much better off out of it. Jobs like that aren't worth expending either physical or mental energy on.

PunketteMum Sun 01-Sep-19 23:22:36

I don't think managers get paid much more.

The pressure comes from the brand who staff to the minimum then get cross if there is not enough cover.

Some managers may be on a power trip but I think it's how the company sets it up - pay a tiny bit more for someone to get all the grief and blamed for being horrible when probably if OP didn't miss their leave the manager would have (will have) to cancel theirs. I blame the greedy companies.

Nearly47 Sun 01-Sep-19 23:21:16

Did your manager by any chance could have those dates from HR? Could she have booked her holidays to clash with yours in purpose? I just think it's too much of a coincidence given her behaviour. It's quite absurd her not letting you have time off for your wedding and not even trying to find a solution.

expat101 Sun 01-Sep-19 23:07:53

Really the Manager should have approached HR rather than try and tell you not to take the time off but I bet She ? would be difficult over any issue regardless.

I've read your update and it's done and dusted now. Shame really that it didn't work out but you can always find something else.

Catforaheadrest Sun 01-Sep-19 22:39:34

👍🏻 I’m sorry you had a rubbish customer and manager today, but good for you!

To get you out the house, ever considered running? When I WFH’d I joined a running club so I had a (free) commitment to get out of the house and get some fresh air. When I say “running”... I’m more of a shuffler, but it’s better than nothing smile

JemSynergy Sun 01-Sep-19 22:22:08

I’d resign at the time that’s going to cause them the most inconvenience 😁


AppleKatie Sun 01-Sep-19 22:13:34

Well done OP you are free! Try and get lots of rest for 24 hours then plan a strategy for your free time!

NitrousOxide Sun 01-Sep-19 22:07:51

Good for you!

Would you consider making a complaint about the manager, and the one from today who went against policy? If they’re treating you badly, they’re almost certainly treating others badly too, and not everyone has the options and safety net you have.

GoneToTheDock Sun 01-Sep-19 21:58:41


Legally they have to honour your time off. I would personally speak to a no win no fee

No! They dont
I'll paste it again for you

The company can cancel your leave if they want to.

Can my employer cancel a pre-booked holiday?
Yes, your employer can cancel a period of annual leave, which is notice of at least the same length as the period of leave to be cancelled. For example, if you have booked a period of four days’ annual leave, your employer must give at least four days’ notice of cancellation.

healththrowawayx Sun 01-Sep-19 21:44:40

In my experience, certain people that are essentially stuck in retail for life get annoyed with students, almost treating them like a nuisance? Like my old manager would always schedule my shifts that would conflict with my university schedule and actually wanted me to miss university to be stuck behind a till all day

LatteLove Sun 01-Sep-19 21:44:33

I would personally speak to a no win no fee employment solicitor as you have a case and take that manager and the company for all there worth

Even if she had a claim, which I doubt, its unlikely to be worth expending any time, effort and cost in doing this. Likewise complaining to HR, going off sick etc. It’s a 2 bit part time job on a makeup counter, not worth doing anything other than jacking it in and moving on.

CokeAndCrispsAndDip Sun 01-Sep-19 21:42:21

Could you do some voluntary work anywhere to just have people contact? Any charity shops or animal sanctuaries near you? I would go crazy stuck in all the time.

Good on you for walking out. Life's too short.

justilou1 Sun 01-Sep-19 21:31:51

I have worked in the industry. They’re like sharks, aren’t they? There is no logic to this and they are jealous, bitter women. I think ultimately you probably did the right thing.

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