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To be pissed off that she didn't tell me?

(23 Posts)
SilenceOfTheCats Sun 25-Aug-19 20:34:18

I was working today (yes, on a Sunday) with a colleague. It is just us in the office on weekends, even during the week our part of the building is usually deserted.

Because it's just us, we usually talk aloud while working. Today I was having issues with a manager in another department, and was telling her about it and expressing my exasperation. I was also telling her about a problem I've been having which was of a slightly personal nature.

A couple of hours later I find out that a senior manager was in the next room the whole time, and would have definitely heard what I said. I asked if she knew he was there, she said yes. I am really annoyed she didn't tell me, as it was obvious I wouldn't have said these things if I knew he was next door. I'm now worried I've said something and incriminated myself. AIBU to think she should have given me a heads up?!

LaurieFairyCake Sun 25-Aug-19 20:35:43

Nope. This is all you.

brighteyeowl17 Sun 25-Aug-19 20:37:06

Yes she should have or some sort of sign!

Aquamarine1029 Sun 25-Aug-19 20:37:44

She might have thought you knew as well. Lesson learned. Don't bitch about a manager to another colleague, regardless if you can be heard by others or not. Trust me, their loyalty doesn't lie with you.

Isithometimeyet0987 Sun 25-Aug-19 20:38:13

Nope yabu she probably thought you knew he was there. You should never talk about bad about managers/bosses/colleagues in work where they or someone else could possibly here you, that’s asking for trouble.

Thehop Sun 25-Aug-19 20:38:44

I would have made you aware.

SilenceOfTheCats Sun 25-Aug-19 20:39:41

She knew I didn't know as I arrived afterwards as I didn't see him come in

Dizzywizz Sun 25-Aug-19 20:40:56

Yes of course she should have told you! I can’t believe people are saying she shouldn’t

colourlessgreenidea Sun 25-Aug-19 20:41:55

expressing my exasperation

Neat euphemism grin

Yeahnahyeah1 Sun 25-Aug-19 20:42:30

She should’ve, if she felt like being a nice person, but there’s a lesson in this. People at work aren’t always your mate, and sometimes they will choose to fuck you over. Be more careful with what you say at work.

simplekindoflife Sun 25-Aug-19 20:43:10

Yes, of course she should've told you. Who wouldn't?! Colleagues and/or friends should always give you the heads up.

Sounds like she's trying to get you into trouble. Watch your back with her.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG Sun 25-Aug-19 20:43:16

Yes, the decent thing would have been to tell you.

IAskTooManyQuestions Sun 25-Aug-19 20:43:56

On the other hand, the senior manager now knows what staff think of the departmental manager.

IndianaMoleWoman Sun 25-Aug-19 20:44:45

I wouldn’t trust her from now on, she deliberately hung you out to dry. At least now you know not to trust her. If you were a colleague that I considered to be an “ally”, I would’ve definitely let you know the other person was there.

IAskTooManyQuestions Sun 25-Aug-19 20:45:17

Sounds like she's trying to get you into trouble. Watch your back with her.

Oh behave! The colleague did nothing to get the Op 'into trouble', the OP dug her own hole

Millie2017 Sun 25-Aug-19 20:55:20

The first thing I would have whispered to you when you came in is “x is sitting in the room next door”.

colourlessgreenidea Sun 25-Aug-19 20:56:00

Colleagues and/or friends should always give you the heads up.

Maybe the colleague doesn’t like the OP? 🤷‍♀️

Noeuf Sun 25-Aug-19 20:59:36

Yes we have an unwritten agreement that we say if someone calls and we are hands free and not alone. People do need to talk without formally raising issues and it's not fair to allow this to happen.

Chivers53 Sun 25-Aug-19 21:07:50

So awkward, hard to know without knowing her, maybe she just felt too awkward to say anything, maybe she didn't think about it, or maybe she revelled in it and wanted you to dig yourself a hole. Either way the moral is not to talk about people at work.

AmICrazyorWhat2 Sun 25-Aug-19 21:11:33

Now you know she's just a colleague and not a friend. Definitely be careful about what you say going forward and never assume that people are "on your side" just because you work with them.

HeffaLump1 Sun 25-Aug-19 21:19:21

YANBU - she could have given you the nod that there was someone else in the other room. Especially with the personal chat.

Why do you think she didnt?

namechanger0064 Sun 25-Aug-19 21:19:22

You shouldn't bitch about people behind their backs. If you have a problem with someone speak to them or to your manager properly.

Podwoman888 Sun 25-Aug-19 21:22:22

I think you just learned a valuable lesson here.

When at work, keep it 'professional'. You can't trust anyone not to 'drop you in it' if it helps their cause.

Some firms have CCTV, so remember that as well !

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