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AIBU?

Asked to keep toddler quiet

484 replies

Jellytots321 · 25/08/2019 09:04

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

OP posts:
Userzzzzz · 25/08/2019 09:09

In my mind if you book attached properties you can’t expect quiet and 30mins noise at 7am during school holidays isn’t hideous actually. There could have easily been a baby screaming through the night in that sort of holiday property.

SmartPlay · 25/08/2019 09:21

I think you were right to leave that review. The owner was really rude to say that to you! It would be fine if it were older children who were just screaming for fun or who are badly behaved. But complaining about a baby crying, especially if it's only for a short period of time, and then such snotty responses (in person and the one on the review) is unacceptable.

Thehop · 25/08/2019 09:24

They were really unfair. You can’t atop babies crying by magic!

plunkplunkfizz · 25/08/2019 09:25

What kind of help should they have been offering you?

GinNotGym19 · 25/08/2019 09:35

I wouldn’t of apologised in the review. Babies cry! Even if he wasn’t teething, babies cry about anything and everything!
Yanbu. This is one of my pet peeves, how is a baby crying disrespectful?
I’d rather have a baby crying next door than a dog barking or noisy party.

pinkyredrose · 25/08/2019 09:37

How could they have helped you? If i was on holiday i wouldn't want a screaming kid next door, tooth or not.

Rubyupbeat · 25/08/2019 09:38

Nog sure why someone would knock and ask if you needed help, many people could become quite defensive about that, so probably the reason they reported it?

Zaphodsotherhead · 25/08/2019 09:43

It's difficult. Now I no longer have young children, I'd be a bit annoyed by a child crying if I were on holiday, but then I wouldn't go on holiday in school holidays either. But, as a mum, I know that you can't just 'stop babies crying', what were you supposed to do, exactly, to keep your toddler quiet? It was crying, ffs, not screaming in the garden or jumping up the stairs or something preventable.

swingofthings · 25/08/2019 09:51

Fsuggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help*
That's a fifldiculous suggestion. Not only because no-one has to help you, why would they and secondly, be s'use what help could they offer that you couldn't do yourself?

Personally in your situation, I would have taken the baby out at 7am in his stroller, anything for distraction after giving him calpol. Why was this not an option?

howyoulikemenow · 25/08/2019 09:59

They sound like arseholes and should have left you be. They are not family friendly if they 1) don't expect children to cry 2) think you can magically stop them crying

LilyR2019 · 25/08/2019 10:02

The problem is that an increasing number of parents are becoming entitled & allowing their children to scream & create chaos in public places whilst their parents smile on indulgently "ah they're just kids" as they have become accustomed to the noise. This means the world has become increasingly sensitised to the issue of child noise as some parents don't attempt to calm their children in such scenarios.

Adults with Aspergers & misophonia have a really hard time coping with this sort of noise & they are not going to enjoy their holiday if this is part of it. Ultimately it is about consideration for all.

Of course kids cry, especially when they're teething, that's part of having children, but perhaps, knowing your child was teething and out of consideration for others, a detached property might have been more appropriate for your family?.

That said the owner wasn't very understanding of your situation & I can understand why you would be miffed.....

Goodlookingcreature · 25/08/2019 10:03

You’re being unreasonable, your trip and enjoyment wasn’t more important than everyone else who’d paid. I wouldn’t like to listen to someone else’s child screaming and crying, and I’d expect the person I paid to sort it. You were inconsiderate and unreasonable to take the child away while he was teething and expecting everyone else to be okay with being kept awake.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 25/08/2019 10:05

If i was on holiday i wouldn't want a screaming kid next door, tooth or not.

So should families with babies or toddlers just never go on holiday then?

howyoulikemenow · 25/08/2019 10:05

I have misophonia and possible Aspergers but I can understand that if I'd booked to stay in a family friendly place then there might be noisy kids...including my own. It's not all about me, and a baby in pain cannot understand it's causing an inconvenience.

People on here are really strange.

Dagnabit · 25/08/2019 10:06

swingofthings Calpol isn't some wonder drug knock out juice, you know? Hmm You sound more ridiculous.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 25/08/2019 10:07

Why do you think they should of offered to help?

If I knew one of my was disturbing some one else holidays we would have gone for a walk etc out of the way to ensure we were being considerate.

Dieu · 25/08/2019 10:07

A baby crying at 7am would be my idea of a nightmare on holiday, even though it's not your fault.

Dieu · 25/08/2019 10:08

And I think it was a bit shit to leave that review, if I'm honest.

GinNotGym19 · 25/08/2019 10:09

But the owner would of known a baby was on the booking! If she had noise sensitivity like Aspergers then she shouldn’t accept family bookings.
She can’t accept family bookings then moan when a baby cries...all babies cry!

SmartPlay · 25/08/2019 10:10

Some of the comments here are just weird .... if you as a grown-up can't stand crying babies and toddlers, then don't book a holiday in a place that's marked as child friendly.

And as for the suggestions to not take a teething baby on holidays. Seriously? So you are not allowed to go on holidays until your child/children have all their teeth? Because until that's the case you obviously never know when they'll be teething!

SleepIsForTheWeeak · 25/08/2019 10:11

They should say no children/babies if they want people to be quiet, I’d be really annoyed if I booked and then was made to feel like shit because I have my children with me (who were included on the booking!). Despite what mumsnet thinks, babies and young children make noise and sometimes you can’t just stop it by requesting they do so! If you had sneaked your child in and it’d said no children, then this would be a very different situation.

They are clearly trying to keep bookings up, but don’t actually want people with babies and children there in reality. Your review would put me off booking as a family, I’d be grateful for the heads up.

JustHereWithPopcorn · 25/08/2019 10:12

At 7am at a family holiday cottage in the school holidays.. I don't think there is anything wrong with that! Babies cry, and some all through the night! I would have left the same review, the owner was rude.

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swingofthings · 25/08/2019 10:12

Calpol isn't some wonder drug knock out juice, you know? hmm You sound more ridiculous
What planet are you on? Calpol is to help with pain. If that kid was crying and nothing comforted him, he must have been in some pain. Are you saying that it is bad parenting to take a tion to try to reduce their kids pain? Do you never take pain killers yourself even if you are in distressing pain?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 25/08/2019 10:12

You were inconsiderate and unreasonable to take the child away while he was teething

Oh come on Hmm
Most people book holidays quite far in advance, how was OP supposed to know her child would be cutting a tooth that week?? Perhaps you think people with babies just shouldn't be allowed to go away at all for the first 2-3 years just in case their trip happens to coincide with a tooth coming through. Or are you seriously suggesting that they should have cancelled their holiday at the last minute (most likely losing a significant amount of money) because of an otherwise well child teething? Ridiculous.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 25/08/2019 10:13

It sounds like there is more to this than meets the eye. My kids cut teeth but a bit of calpol, a nice cold chew toy, a cuddle and some distraction meant they didn’t cry for long periods. When you are in these kind of communal situations you need to make an extra effort. So many people don’t. You obviously woke everyone up and they complained. Perhaps they had you down as one of the many permissive parents who thinks it’s ok for their kid to wake everyone up at 7am. It’s not. We trained our kids to sleep later and stay quiet until a reasonable holiday hour - 9am day. Even then they weren’t allowed outside near other cottages until it was clear everyone was up. It’s called consideration. I suspect that your general approach was not a considerate one and the crying was the last straw. If not then you’ve been judged as permissive because of those who’ve gone before.

Clearly other people with children found it a welcoming place. Perhaps time for some naval gazing. Maybe it was unfair, but are you sure?

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