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To have hated ‘This is going to hurt’ by Adam Kay?

(454 Posts)
SweetMelodies Sat 24-Aug-19 15:27:16

Just that really. So many recommendations to read it from others, it seems to have so much praise and is a number 1 seller.

I like to think I have a good sense of humour and sometimes a pretty dark one at that but I just found the book absolutely dripping in misogyny. Sure it IS well-written and he is obviously a very talented writer and some bits were indeed funny... but a lot of it really turned my stomach, the language, the way he speaks about women, his really narrow-minded attitude towards birth that isn’t evidence-based at all, just based the very limited picture of birth he has. He clearly puts the women in a category of ‘other’ and ‘less than’.

I did feel terrible for him having experienced the dreadful situation at the end and it did highlight how overworked drs can be... but at the same time I think the language and attitudes displayed in it really summarised the paternal and disrespectful attitudes in the maternity system that lead to so many women traumatised by childbirth.

Despite this I appear to be completely alone in this way of thinking, did anyone else not get a great feel from this (or parts of this) book?

SandunesAndRainclouds Sat 24-Aug-19 15:30:57

I’m a nurse and ex-midwife and didn’t get a sense of misogyny at all. But now you’ve mentioned it I might re-read with a different set of eyes!

JustDanceAddict Sat 24-Aug-19 15:31:52

Nope, I loved it

feelingsicknow Sat 24-Aug-19 15:32:28

I enjoyed it and read it (listened to it actually) quite recently. Can you give me examples of what you mean? I honestly can't think?

Wrongdissection Sat 24-Aug-19 15:33:07

Midwife here, not a fan for all the reasons as stated above.

Cocolapew Sat 24-Aug-19 15:33:30

I didn't like it either. I found it very sneery, and yes to the misogyny.

feelingsicknow Sat 24-Aug-19 15:33:44

Also, the audiobook is actually read by him himself, and I didn't detect any hint of misogyny in his retelling of it or the language he used.

PegasusReturns Sat 24-Aug-19 15:34:45

Can you explain a bit more? - I read the book but didn't get that impression. I'm interested in what I missed.

LoopyGremlin Sat 24-Aug-19 15:35:04

I enjoyed it and actually went to see him speaking at his show last week.

LakieLady Sat 24-Aug-19 15:35:10

I thought it was great and didn't feel it was misogynist. I also thought it did a great job of showing how under-resourced the NHS is, to the point where patient safety is compromised.

BeanBag7 Sat 24-Aug-19 15:35:47

I just found it boring. I think it was the writing style, I just didn't get on with it

ChelseaCat Sat 24-Aug-19 15:36:21

PP - all midwives hate doctors, of course you hated his book too 🙄

YummyFoodie Sat 24-Aug-19 15:36:29

No other book has ever made me laugh so much. He vocalised what most doctors probably think. They're only human. They deliver hundreds of babies so the experience is not as special as it seems to the parents. They don't see birth as a miracle but as hard graft. I think people getting offended by everything these days is a bit much. What kind of book would it have been without the dark humour? A pointless sugar-coated one.

Loopytiles Sat 24-Aug-19 15:36:31

I agree, there was v little empathy in it IMO.

Loopytiles Sat 24-Aug-19 15:36:59

And very samey anecdotes.

ChelseaCat Sat 24-Aug-19 15:37:01

Sorry, directed at Wrong dissection obvs!

HelloJackieYouLookNice Sat 24-Aug-19 15:38:17

As a HCP I sympathised with a lot of it and recognised much of the pressures. I dont see it that way at all, I have also seen him live and he came across really well. I am looking forward to the sequel!

FrenchSchnoodle Sat 24-Aug-19 15:40:55

I didn't like it either. It was boring, I didn't find it funny at all. It was a complete waste of money.

I didn't like his writing style and was actually quite weirded out after I'd finished it as I simply couldn't identify with 95 percent of the comments on Amazon praising him.

SomethingAboutNothing Sat 24-Aug-19 15:43:02

I'm a student midwife and agree with you OP, as do many midwives from what I have seen on the fb group I am on.

As for the PP who said all Midwives hate Drs, what a load of rubbish hmm

NoDontLookAtMeImShy Sat 24-Aug-19 15:44:28

Can you give an example OP? I didn't get that impression myself.

SomethingAboutNothing Sat 24-Aug-19 15:44:47

The sad thing is how mysogyny is so ingrained in maternity care that few see it for what it is.

ColdAndSad Sat 24-Aug-19 15:46:18

I found it misogynist and ageist. I really didn't like it. I thought he was extremely disrespectful to the people in his care, and went for cheap laughs instead of telling us the truth of how things are.

EL8888 Sat 24-Aug-19 15:47:36

I think you are. I read it enjoyed and didn’t pick up on any of the things you mentioned

mollyblack Sat 24-Aug-19 15:48:43

I read it a while ago and enjoyed it, though i we r to the stage version of it at the edinburgh festival and did notice some of it ranked, particularly when he referred to a forceps birth with a perfect outcome of baby and mother well- i thought, easy for you to say i bet that mother is not well at all!

Horriblehhenrietta Sat 24-Aug-19 15:49:14

After having one awful birth (with lots of life saving intervention at the end) and one c section (the second time round), the book made me feel heard.
You seem to hear so much about natural birth and might feel like you have failed if yours doesn’t go that way. The book is uncomfortable reading at times but birth is bloody uncomfortable, and I think we forget that not so long ago many women died during it (and some still do).

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