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To not want vegetarians to decide where we eat on holiday!

(271 Posts)
indiestarr665 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:26:59

Myself and a group of friends go on an annual city break, usually to somewhere in eastern europe, and this year’s trip is coming up. Two of our number are vegetarian, and they tend to dominate the decision making when it comes to where we eat. My issue is that this is often at the expense of ambiance and so on - what usually happens is we traipse around, they will look at the menus and reject anywhere that doesn’t have about half a dozen veggie choices, even if it looks really nice and there are one or two options they can go for. We often end up forsaking the most interesting restaurants for places that are mediocre but have numerous veggie options. Worse, they make a beeline for vegetarian or vegan restaurants, the argument being that the rest of us (who are the majority) can eat anything on the menu whereas it doesn’t work the other way round.
I do appreciate that they have less choice, but when visiting a new city I do feel a bit annoyed at not being able to go to places with, say, a great atmosphere, reputation, view, etc etc because the priority is always whether the veggie menu is extensive.
In anticipation of this year’s trip I’ve sent round a list of suggestions of places that are meant to be good and that are ‘vegetarian friendly’ in the hope that we choose restaurants that suit everyone, not just them. But my message has been met with ‘I’m sure we’ll be fine, there are bound to be plenty of places’ which makes me think we’ll end up doing the same old thing of traipsing round. I’ve jokingly said that I don’t want to go to any vegan places, but actually I’m not joking, I really don’t want to! Am I being unreasonable?

SockMachine Fri 23-Aug-19 15:31:21

YANBU - do you all have to eat together every single night? I would say "I really want to try this place because it has great reviews for local cuisine...it might not be to everyone's taste but if anyone would like to join me on XX night that might be a good time fot YY and ZZ to try the vegan place if this doesn't have enough veggie options?"

Also - you need another person to back you up. Do any of the others feel the same way?

Userzzzzz Fri 23-Aug-19 15:33:28

Oh god this reminds me of a trip to Paris when this happened in the rain. It was pissing it down and we traipsed around for hours before giving up. I feel your pain.

lmusic87 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:34:24

I agree with @SockMachine - just offer different options

Engoltheharpy Fri 23-Aug-19 15:35:33

What does the rest of the group think?

Littlebluebird123 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:35:43

I'm veggie and count myself lucky if there's more than one option!
I understand the frustration but I would not behave like this. And if anywhere had lots of veggie options it often means it's at the expense of choice for others. I would want more of a compromise ie this is a local cuisine place with one veggie option (day one), more veggie friendly place (day two) for example. Can you all take turns to choose somewhere so it evens out a bit?

whothedaddy Fri 23-Aug-19 15:36:08

I'm on the fence (possibly biased as I don't eat meat)
I get that you want to try lots of new places but a lot of restaurants have the same 2 veggie options. Tomato pasta and mushroom rissotto. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't choose to go to a restaurant with only 2 things on the menu.

As PP suggested, why don't you just split up a couple of nights and do your own thing and meet for drinks afterwards

IsolaPribby Fri 23-Aug-19 15:36:11

Perhaps you could suggest that everyone gets a go at choosing a restaurant, and everyone else goes with the choice for that evening?

I'm assuming that as you are going on holiday with them then they are friends whom you can reason with?

Mrsjayy Fri 23-Aug-19 15:36:35

If this was your last experience why are you going again with out sorting it out sounds bloody miserable yanbu Iwould suggest turn about at picking somewhere surely you can talk to your friends about this.

PurpleDaisies Fri 23-Aug-19 15:37:07

Maybe eat separately and meet for drinks after?

brassbrass Fri 23-Aug-19 15:38:02

Do you have to be in each others pockets for the whole trip? Why can you go to different restaurants and meet later for drinks

Bookworm4 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:38:31

I’m a veggie and I think they’re being precious, they don’t need 6 options, if I’m in a group and a restaurant is chosen I’ll check the menu for something I’ll eat, I’m only going to eat one thing not 6! Tell them the trekking about won’t be tolerated.

7salmonswimming Fri 23-Aug-19 15:38:57

I've stopped doing city breaks with one particular friend for this very reason. It used to suck the joy out of my trip, as a large part of going on these breaks used to be trying new foods.

I don't see it as an issue. It's like deciding you're not going to do museum tours with people who don't like art; or not going on a hiking holiday with people who don't like to exert themselves. I just don't like to visit new countries with people who don't want to try all the new foods. Simply that you don't have enough in common to justify the time and financial outlay.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Fri 23-Aug-19 15:40:04

How many nights and how many of you? I'd do a Veggie/Vegan place one night of their choosing and the rest of you choose one or two restaurants for the remaining nights.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser Fri 23-Aug-19 15:40:56

To be fair, as a vegetarian it is pretty shit when you are travelling and veggie food is hard to come by. There’s nothing worse than going to a restaurant where your friends are all enjoying delicious meals and you’re left with a limp salad. Surely there must be some sort of compromise you can reach?

Interesting that PP mentions Paris, IME France is the worst country for vegetarian food. I swear I almost starved to death last time I was there!

LazyDaisey Fri 23-Aug-19 15:41:11

Split up for some of the meals. It really depends how many people in the group total and how many feel as you do. If there’s 6 of you, and two want vegan, two don’t care and two want meat, then agree to do a group meal once a day and go your separate ways for the other meal. Or pick a place with lots of restaurants like a town square and split up for dinner then grab drinks together an hour later.

smalalalalalala Fri 23-Aug-19 15:41:30

I'm veggie but I feel you. Went to a historic city of eastern Europe and our friends spent their time visiting pubs (including Hooters!), not giving any interest into the history and culture of the city. Even when we suggested going to the oldest pub in the city, they were not interested as too far (aka not on the hotel doorstep).

On this occasion we decided to go visiting some places without them (they wanted to have a lay-in) maybe you can decide that on one occasion you go to do your own things? So you don't impose your things but they will understand that you don't accept being imposed neither?

goodwinter Fri 23-Aug-19 15:41:31

There's room for compromise here, I think.

I'm a vegetarian. One the one hand, when you stop eating meat you have to accept that there'll be fewer choices when you go out to eat. I wouldn't dream of monopolising the choices of a whole group of people on holiday just to go somewhere that catered to me especially.

However, equally, my friends would make sure there's something that I'll eat on the menu wherever we go, and would probably happy to go to a veggie restaurant for one evening.

If I were your friends, I'd be happy you'd researched and found veggie-friendly places ahead of time. Maybe they're being flippant because they don't realise what you're trying to get at - could you make it more explicit but still in a friendly way?

user00119922 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:46:15

YANBU!!!!!!!!

StCharlotte Fri 23-Aug-19 15:47:14

Yes, I would send them off to eat separately.

In my experience, if you want many and varied vegetarian choices, Eastern Europe is not the place for you in the first place.

(I went to Iceland with a friend who, because of the cost (not that much more than London where we both lived and worked) refused to go out for dinner at all! We ended up in her hotel room eating the crisps she'd brought from home. I wish I was joking. I was bloody starving!)

DarlingNikita Fri 23-Aug-19 15:50:08

I would say "I really want to try this place because it has great reviews for local cuisine...it might not be to everyone's taste but if anyone would like to join me on XX night that might be a good time for YY and ZZ to try the vegan place if this doesn't have enough veggie options?"

I agree with this.

OtraCosaMariposa Fri 23-Aug-19 15:50:12

Send the veggies off to find their own food. Rest of you enjoy the local offerings.

Ridiculous to allow them to dictate a whole holdiay's eating like this.

AngusThermopyle Fri 23-Aug-19 15:52:08

Yanbu, I'm also a vegetarian as long as there's something on a menu, even if i have to ask for it to be tweaked slightly, I'll eat anywhere, and if there wasn't I'd happily go without and just get some bread or snacks in a shop. Taking turns in choices sounds like a good idea.

brassbrass Fri 23-Aug-19 15:53:43

The way to pitch it is say that you compromise every night of the trip but it would be fairer if they compromised as well. The other option is to separate for some meals.

brassbrass Fri 23-Aug-19 15:55:17

I'm a veggie but if I'm in the minority I just hope there will be one decent option wherever we end up

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