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To think that this mother not doing her daughter any favours

(77 Posts)
SirGawain Fri 23-Aug-19 15:24:48

At a country park the other day and witnessed a three or four year old having a mild strop which would be easily defused by ignoring or distraction. But no! The mother threatened to call a policeman.
It seems to me that this is wrong on two levels; firstly it is an empty threat which she cannot carry out. Secondly it instils the idea that the police are to be feared rather than being there to protect people.

StupidSlimyGit Fri 23-Aug-19 15:31:16

I was ready to read some ridiculousness but actually I agree with you on this one.
Personally I don't agree with using people in uniform (policemen, firemen, security guards etc) as a threat, surely you want your child to feel able to approach them? I'm trying to teach my two year old that if ever she finds herself alone she should seek these people out because they can help!

herculepoirot2 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:33:16

You’re probably right, but I couldn’t work up a sweat over it on a day like this. 🌞

KB197 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:34:52

Absolutely. We should teach our young children to trust the police if they need the help not to be scared of them by using them as a threat.

herculepoirot2 Fri 23-Aug-19 15:34:59

And policeman? Fireman? I’m rewatching Life on Mars at the moment and the language here feels quite 1973.

LolaSmiles Fri 23-Aug-19 15:37:07

I agree with you.

It's ridiculous and ends up telling children to fear people in positions of responsibility.

I also hate being in shops and hearing a parent apathetically say "stop it or the lady will tell you off". It's not the 18 year old sales assistants job to manage your child's tantrums and bad behaviour

Pardonwhat Fri 23-Aug-19 15:40:57

Yanbu. But the mum was probably flustered. I wouldn’t say it’s worth still thinking about now!

OneRingToRuleThemAll Fri 23-Aug-19 15:43:08

It's not quite the time of year when the mother will spend 4 solid months threatening that Father Christmas won't come.

SaffronFields Fri 23-Aug-19 15:45:07

I think you’re being too judgemental. Parenting is hard and we’re all muddling through.

Reading stuff like this makes me feel self conscious when I’m out and about with my 14 month old! Everyone’s got an opinion!

Bezalelle Fri 23-Aug-19 15:47:48

I hate the police, but YANBU.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Fri 23-Aug-19 15:49:30

This has reminded me of a woman who told me (proudly) that after threatening her son so many times that “the man” would come and take him away for being naughty and him still misbehaving (because he is a child and they do that kind of thing grin) that she actually got her neighbour to dress up in a Halloween costume and come and bang the doors and windows of her house one day to scare the crap out of her son and make him think “the man” had come to get him. shock poor fucking kid.

LolaSmiles Fri 23-Aug-19 15:51:56

SaffronFields
Why would this thread make you feel self conscious, unless you're someone who uses the emergency services as an empty threat for a fairly typical childhood strop?

CassianAndor Fri 23-Aug-19 15:54:15

I think this was the kind of line brought out by exasperated parents back in the day. I doubt it gave any of us an enduring hatred of the boys in blue, or thinking they won't help us.

No, it's not a great thing to say but seriously? Starting a thread about it?

SaffronFields Fri 23-Aug-19 15:58:48

I don’t mean this thread lolasmiles just in general I think people are too overally judgy. All parents are learning as they go.

If I heard someone say that I wouldn’t think it’s a big deal but then again my Mum routinely threatened to call social services to come pick me up when I misbehaved!

SnuggyBuggy Fri 23-Aug-19 16:04:45

I think some people instead of trying to diffuse a situation love to whip up drama.

whattodowith Fri 23-Aug-19 16:07:53

YANBU, my friend is a police officer and she hates parents who do this. She’s extremely lovely so definitely no threat to toddlers grin. It’s sadly quite a commonplace thing.

On the flip side I can completely understand the desperation felt trying to get a toddler to quit tantrumming.

katewhinesalot Fri 23-Aug-19 16:10:37

i remember cringing when I overheard this line being trotted out. Ineffective parenting at its best.

nononever Fri 23-Aug-19 16:12:15

This morning I witnessed a toddler having a strop because he didn't want to leave the shop. His mother said, fine, just stay here and I'll come back for you in 16 years grin.

SirGawain Fri 23-Aug-19 16:14:10

LadyGawain was a teacher and the number of parents who expected her to discipline their offspring for bad behaviour at home was incredible.

katewhinesalot Fri 23-Aug-19 16:16:12

His mother said, fine, just stay here and I'll come back for you in 16 years.

grin

StCharlotte Fri 23-Aug-19 16:18:05

It's not quite the time of year when the mother will spend 4 solid months threatening that Father Christmas won't come.

Don't bet on it. I've witnessed this thread being made on Boxing Day! I suppose it's still fresh in their minds for a few weeks...

Hecateh Fri 23-Aug-19 16:18:12

A parent once said to a child that I would tell them off if they didn't behave. It was in a shop and I wasn't working there. I looked at her and said 'Don't expect me to parent your child if you can't'.
The child wasn't even doing anything wrong just repeatedly asking questions which I know can be annoying but FGS

Pinkblueberry Fri 23-Aug-19 16:18:28

It’s a bit silly but I couldn’t get worked up over that one - it might have been just that one time but if she does it on a regular basis then yeah it’s gonna backfire eventually - ‘go on then mum, ring them...’
Better than the mum in front of me in the massive non-moving airport queue - she kept saying to her daughter who kept wanting to wander away ‘right, we’re going now...we’re going now come here...come here or we’re going without you...’ I wish... it was quite clear we all weren’t going anywhere for a while.

Baguetteaboutit Fri 23-Aug-19 16:19:18

I mean, I'm sure if she knew that her parenting style was being assessed by some random nosey parker stranger she'd have stuck to beat practice for your approval.

Baguetteaboutit Fri 23-Aug-19 16:19:54

Beat, lol...best grin

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