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Just been shouted out by funeral party...

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Pinklady1982 Fri 23-Aug-19 13:05:55

Aibu to be feeling really upset by this? I was just driving along and a funeral car pulled out slowly from a turning. They had about 10 cars behind it which were possibly all part of the party, so I slowed down and let a load of cars through. Now this was a residential road and I could see some other cars had joined the back of the queue. I started easing forward a bit as if I kept waiting there letting all the cars out I would be there ages and needed to get home, also I wasn't to know if they were all part of the funeral. I had right of way as they were in a side turning, but sat there patiently for a while. Well this lady then rolls down her window and starts shouting at me! Saying they are part of the funeral party and could I not see that. I explained that I had let about 10 cars go and wasn't to know who was part of the party and who wasn't. She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out. I just put my window up and pulled over as I felt a bit shaken. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable anyway at the moment and I hate confrontation. I know that at these times emotions will be heightened, but was I really in the wrong here? They were going to then be pulling out onto a main road where I'm sure they would be seperated by other cars, so you can't all expect to stay together surely?

Mumminmum Fri 23-Aug-19 13:22:11

She was grieving and not thinking straight. You were nice to let so many cars through. When my mum and I went to the local parish office to get a copy of my wedding certificate in English, there was a funeral going on. When we went to our car one of the mourners gave us a very nasty stare and got such an aggressive body language that we got a bit worried. He obviously felt we had no business being there. My guess is he didn't normally go to church and didn't know about the parish office. Or maybe that parish offices even exist.

Lifecraft Fri 23-Aug-19 13:23:43

I would have shouted "it'll be your funeral soon if you don't shut your fat cakehole". But I'm not the most sensitive of souls.

Saucery Fri 23-Aug-19 13:25:09

YANBU to feel a bit shaken by it, but she was probably grieving. Or possibly a bit of a cow normally anyway. Either way, it’s no reflection on you and more than 10 cars in a funeral procession is quite unusual so how were you to know.

rosedream Fri 23-Aug-19 13:25:42

Try not to take it personally.

Regardless of the situation some people can't see anything but from their own point of view. They act righteous and probably believe they are correct in their actions.

A person once had a go at me for absolutely no reason. She thought my dog was off the lead when it was on a stretchy one so wasn't going to go in the next field to chase sheep. She screamed at me when she realised her mistake i have a hidden illnesses you know. I totally agree with that statement and try to always bare that in mind. What I thought ironic was that she gave no thought to whether I could of had one or not.

What I'm trying to say is some people just can't see a whole situation. Taking a second to think really helps.

You did nothing wrong.

NoBaggyPants Fri 23-Aug-19 13:27:55

You should have waited for all the cars to exit. It might have added a few seconds to your journey, but that would have meant so much more to those in the funeral procession.

chockaholic72 Fri 23-Aug-19 13:30:11

I've been in funeral corteges - us Catholics do a mean funeral :-) Don't worry about it at all; I had a bin lorry squeeze in front of us and the hearse at my dad's funeral, and then stop to load up! You weren't to know, and it will be an emotional day. Never nice being shouted at by a random stranger though - you obviously need chocolate/cake/crisps to calm you down (or I would anyway!).

TheQueef Fri 23-Aug-19 13:30:25


Lifecraft Fri 23-Aug-19 13:30:53

You should have waited for all the cars to exit. It might have added a few seconds to your journey, but that would have meant so much more to those in the funeral procession.

Nonsense, they'll all get split up and junctions and traffic lights anyway. Let all the hearses out, but everyone else is just a normal road user, who happen to be going to a funeral.

WillLokireturn Fri 23-Aug-19 13:31:00

I'm not surprised you got shouted at. Whether you were going to be 10 mins later home is immaterial compared to procession following hearse on way to bury their loved one.

It's sad no matter who they were, but more cars following usually means something a bit more tragic (child, or unexpected death) or person who was greatly loved by many people.

I think you should have waited, and that underneath you know that.

covetingthepreciousthings Fri 23-Aug-19 13:35:09

I'm not surprised you got shouted at. Whether you were going to be 10 mins later home is immaterial compared to procession following hearse on way to bury their loved one.*

But how was OP to know they were all part of the procession? It's a residential street so other people in cars could have joined on, she'd already let 10 cars out.

Ocies Fri 23-Aug-19 13:37:01

@WillLokireturn - how exactly was she supposed to know which cars were part of the funeral party? She had already let a good number through. I doubt they had banners!

Each2TheirOwn Fri 23-Aug-19 13:37:23

Unless they were all black limos then you would have no way of knowing. She was in the wrong, not you x

WillLokireturn Fri 23-Aug-19 13:38:21

You can usually spot whose going to funeral in cars following the hearse and the cheeky van drivers or normal traffic that has or wabts to cut in. When it's safe, I pull over and let them by, if it's obviously a funeral procession.

If they weren't bothered about being part of the funeral procession as a sign of respect, (it's part of the grieving process following the person you love who died), they'd have gone straight to crematorium or church and not follow the hearse, so it does matter. They are not normal traffic.

maddening Fri 23-Aug-19 13:39:17

Yanbu at all op, they were on a main road, this is what happens and it is ridiculous for mourners to expect the world to stop no matter how much they love the deceased. Why would she make a sad day any more awful by being a twat, you could have been someone having a worse day or trying to get to an Important appointment about a tragic situation - she behaved badly Imo.

NoSauce Fri 23-Aug-19 13:39:35

Probably best in those circumstances is to wait until the flow of traffic picks up and then try and move out.

BPSSquestion Fri 23-Aug-19 13:41:21

Relax pinklady, you did OK and wnbu to assume, after ten cars, that the rest were not likely to be close rellies of the deceased and more likely to be other road users caught behind the cortège

ReanimatedSGB Fri 23-Aug-19 13:43:55

I've heard (though don't know how universal this is) that one way to tell if an 'ordinary' car is part of the procession is if it has its lights on: some people put their lights on in daylight to follow the hearse.

But in general you WNBU and she was an entitled twat.

AnnonniMoose Fri 23-Aug-19 13:44:12

The day I went to view my late DH at the funeral home, there was only one parking space available, and it was a disabled space. My friend who was driving me parked there. After the viewing, and pretty shaken and in tears, as we went back to her car, a couple started screaming at us about parking in a disabled space (at the back of a funeral home, so we'd obviously not just parked there for the hell of it). They were really nasty.

Now I know we should't have parked there, but there was no other space, and I wasn't going to give up the last ever chance of seeing my DH for the sake of a parking space. They wouldn't accept that though.

People can be arseholes.

AnnonniMoose Fri 23-Aug-19 13:46:02

Sorry, I know the above doesn't have to do with a funeral procession, but it has to do with death.

butteryellow Fri 23-Aug-19 13:47:32

YWBVVU I'm not surprised you got shouted at. Whether you were going to be 10 mins later home is immaterial compared to procession following hearse on way to bury their loved one.

Weird opinion - if I'm 10 minutes late picking up my kids then that's fairly material to them and without wanting to be crass, is someone being 10 seconds later because they were behind a non-funeral-procession related car that significant?

TheWernethWife Fri 23-Aug-19 13:47:36

Lifecraft I love you.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 23-Aug-19 13:49:58

She was grieving and not thinking straight.

Well it can’t have been a close family member. If she wasn’t it the actual cars, so I think you’re making excuses for her to be perfectly honest. It’s hardly going to be her mum or dad, brother or sister, is it.
She sounds like a bully to me. Total lack of respect for the person whose funeral it was.
Shouting like a fish wife.

IAmBannedAgainTheBastards Fri 23-Aug-19 13:50:26

I think you should have waited too

walkintheparc Fri 23-Aug-19 13:52:09

I honestly had no idea that 'funeral processions' with people in their own cars was a thing! I just thought it was the long black vehicle with the coffin that went slow. I'm sure I've done a lot worse than you then OP!

I've never been to a funeral that people drove to (e.g. here they've all been inner city so everyone walked) hence not knowing this.

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