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SC want to come on our honeymoon

(134 Posts)
HoneymoonConfusion Fri 23-Aug-19 11:20:12

Firstly, I really do have a good relationship with my SC. And with all the drama going on surrounding a certain thread at the moment I'll mention that they are coming to our wedding and have been included in the whole process (like they are with everything).

We get married in a few months and are planning a honeymoon for next year. Older SC asked us if we were going anywhere and H told them what we had planned. Younger SC is now saying they want to come with us. H has said it's for grown ups really but we will do something together. They seem upset about this.

Are we being unreasonable saying no? We will take them somewhere as well but I would enjoy a honeymoon just me and H. I do know some families who have taken children on theirs.

Fwiw, it will not affect their mum in terms of childcare. Hs parents have said they will take them away for our days to Wales/ somewhere similar and they enjoy seeing their grandparents.

Will this pass do you think? I feel a bit awful!

Thehop Fri 23-Aug-19 11:21:56

Let them choose a family holiday. I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all!

PlatoAteMySnozcumber Fri 23-Aug-19 11:22:12

Honeymoon is absolutely for the married couple and shouldn’t include DC or DSC. Go for it.

edwinbear Fri 23-Aug-19 11:23:09

YANBU. Honeymoons are for couples, provided of course they have been part of the wedding beforehand grin

whattodowith Fri 23-Aug-19 11:24:17

YANBU. Honeymoons are for the married couple, nobody else.

Branleuse Fri 23-Aug-19 11:24:19

of course youre not being unreasonable.

Tell them that you are going to organise a family holiday for everyone, but that honeymoons are always a couples holiday with just the two people who get married.

I know some people take a family holiday after weddings btw to try and combine the two, but thats not generally what a honeymoon is.

Do you normally do family holidays?

Windydaysuponus Fri 23-Aug-19 11:24:35

Tell them there will be lots of kissing and you don't want them to have to see that!!
It's an easy way to clear a room at home too ime!!
Yanbu to want a honeymoon to yourselves!!
Do not be guilted by anyone into taking them!!

Queenioqueenio Fri 23-Aug-19 11:24:38

If they were your children and not step children would you feel the same?
My kids would be gutted if we went away on an exciting holiday and left them behind.

HoneymoonConfusion Fri 23-Aug-19 11:25:57

If they were your children and not step children would you feel the same?

Genuinely, yes I think I would. Especially seen as they will probably be going somewhere with their grandparents as well whilst we are away (will probably be school hol times).

CalmdownJanet Fri 23-Aug-19 11:27:12

Yanbu, I left my own child at home when I went on honeymoon, go for it and don't feel one bit guilty

Littlechocola Fri 23-Aug-19 11:27:34

We had our honeymoon and then went back a few months later with the dc.

Branleuse Fri 23-Aug-19 11:27:36

my kids would also be gutted to not come on an exciting honeymoon, but too bad for them. Not happening

PinkCrayon Fri 23-Aug-19 11:28:26


crustycrab Fri 23-Aug-19 11:29:08


MyCatHatesEverybody Fri 23-Aug-19 11:30:11

YANBU, the clue is in the name - honeymoon not family holiday.

Queenio but they're not her children. If they were hers then she'd have had plenty of child-free holidays/couple time with their dad before her DC were born.

TimeIhadaNameChange Fri 23-Aug-19 11:30:57

Any chance their mother could be stirring things? Hopefully not, but it might be something to consider. But YDNBU not to take them.

HappyParent2000 Fri 23-Aug-19 11:33:39

There comes a point in life where it’s far better to have a top end family holiday instead of a honeymoon.

If you have had a couples honeymoon before I would suggest putting the money into a big family getaway instead.

HoneymoonConfusion Fri 23-Aug-19 11:33:45

Any chance their mother could be stirring things?

I doubt it to be honest. She a very reasonable woman and we've never had any issues of that kind that I know of. We all get on pretty well really.

HoneymoonConfusion Fri 23-Aug-19 11:34:24

If you have had a couples honeymoon before

Well it's first marriage for us both so neither have been on honeymoon before.

frazzledasarock Fri 23-Aug-19 11:34:42

I wouldn’t mention it again. The DSC will get over the disappointment and in any case will be having a lot of fun with siblings and family on their holiday.

I would go guilt free and enjoy the rare alone time.

Greyponcho Fri 23-Aug-19 11:35:33

I had this issue... had a low-key honeymoon followed by a fabulous DC-orientated holiday a few weeks later. However, balanced it out the next year by having a lovely break with just hubby and a nice-but-low-key holiday with DSC.
Does their DM go on holiday without them at all? If so, might be worth saying its your turn to do so.

HoneymoonConfusion Fri 23-Aug-19 11:35:57

I wasn't alive when my parents married but I certainly remember them going away for anniversaries etc... without me whilst I was with my nan!

HoneymoonConfusion Fri 23-Aug-19 11:38:11

Does their DM go on holiday without them at all?

Yes, we both have been away without the children before. Not very often as we usually take them but both parents have had holidays in the past without.

I don't think she will have a problem with it, really I don't. We all get on very well and I'd imagine she'd offer to look after them an extra week (but we obviously won't do that as GPs are going to cover that). We've looked after them extra when she's been on weekends away or whatever.

BogglesGoggles Fri 23-Aug-19 11:39:14

I feel like honeymoons are a bit redundant nowadays when married couples tend to know each other very well/have sex before marriage. Nonetheless you are of course entitled to have a couples holiday whenever for whatever reason. So long as you make sure they aren’t upset about it I don’t think that anyone could reasonably find fault.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 23-Aug-19 11:40:00

My kids would be gutted if we went away on an exciting holiday and left them behind

This isn't simply a "holiday." It's a honeymoon and it's perfectly reasonable that the couple want it to be a private affair for just the two of them.

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