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AIBU to not want them to stay?

(236 Posts)
DumbleDork Tue 20-Aug-19 14:06:46

Trying to cut a long story short.

I’m 33, DH is 34. We’ve got 2 children aged 11 and 5. This Saturday is our wedding anniversary and we organised a long while ago for my father to have the kids at his house so we can go out for dinner, drinks and generally have the house to ourselves for the weekend. We usually use MIL & FIL for this kind of thing but my dad offered first.

Friday last week I got a message from my MIL to say my DHs brother, his wife and their 2 young kids are down in our home town for the weekend (they live about 5 hours drive each way away from us) and would we like to get together with them (that is MIL, FIL and DHs brother and family). I said yes and that we would probably only meet for a drink or two as we had plans of our own but it’s always good to see them as we don’t get to very much.

Anyway, then this morning MIL text me and said that BIL and family couldn’t book a B&B as the town is full (we live in a seaside resort) so she’d told them we would put them up as the kids are away so their 2 children could have our children’s room and the adults could sleep on an air bed in the living room, which happens to be below our room and not to worry about having to stay home to let them in and out and she will give them our key and they can come and go as they please?!

AIBU to be upset about this? Not to mention the fact they’ve taken over our wedding anniversary weekend, but we can’t have our evening of food, booze and sex we planned as we have 4 people in the house confused

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum Tue 20-Aug-19 14:08:18

Not this again.

choosingchilli Tue 20-Aug-19 14:08:22

YANBU! That's so cheeky, why can't MIL put them up?

MeanMrMustardSeed Tue 20-Aug-19 14:09:21

Just say no.

Raphael34 Tue 20-Aug-19 14:09:31

No you’re my being unreasonable, and their accommodation is not your problem. I’d be telling your mil you’ve already planned and put things into action to have the house to yourself that weekend. How cheeky of her to offer your house??!

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 20-Aug-19 14:09:54

YANBU. Say no, you have plans and can’t accommodate them. They shouldn’t have made plans without planning where they’d stay and they’re not staying with you.

Happy anniversary!

AryaStarkWolf Tue 20-Aug-19 14:10:27

Not this again.


Toneitdown Tue 20-Aug-19 14:10:34

For God's sake, just say no

blackpinkinyourarea Tue 20-Aug-19 14:12:46

"Sorry MIL, that doesnt work with our plans. BIL and co will need to make alternative sleeping arrangements". PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum Tue 20-Aug-19 14:13:38


I think I've seen this exact problem a few days ago on here.

It could be a different OP with the same problem though.

Purpleartichoke Tue 20-Aug-19 14:13:39

Say no
And take the key back from the ILs. I like our ILs having one, but yours can’t be trusted

HollowTalk Tue 20-Aug-19 14:16:02

Hang on, in what world do people say, "I'll give your uninvited guests a house key so they can let themselves in"?

Just say no, ffs!

Cordial11 Tue 20-Aug-19 14:17:01

So cheeky!!!!!! Say no! shock

WhatIsThis1 Tue 20-Aug-19 14:17:42

There is no problem here. You simply reply "Sorry that is not convenient for us this weekend. The reason the kids are away is because we want the weekend to ourselves. Please don't tell people they can stay at our house without asking us in future."

Butterymuffin Tue 20-Aug-19 14:18:02

Say no and get the locks changed or an extra one added.

Piffle11 Tue 20-Aug-19 14:20:18

You must know you're NBU to be upset/angry. You really must say no to this, otherwise you're giving MIL carte blanche to do as she pleases in the future. Your DH needs to tell her, and BIL (as no doubt she's already told him it's all fine) the situation. If BIL is a decent person he will completely understand. If he's as entitled as MIL, then maybe not … either way, put a stop to it NOW.

Socksontheradiator Tue 20-Aug-19 14:20:35

I'd say no. You've made plans already. There must be somewhere they can stay.
I can't believe the entitled attitude she has, in that she's already told them they can stay at your house.

Disfordarkchocolate Tue 20-Aug-19 14:23:05

Channel Nancy Reagan and 'just say no', we have plans to have sex in the living room and we don't want an audience.

SinkGirl Tue 20-Aug-19 14:23:33

It was our wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago, shortly followed by DH’s 40th.

MIL decided she and her boyfriend were coming to stay on our anniversary so she could spend the day with DH on his birthday. A few days before she decided she was bringing our niece. We spent our anniversary sleeping on the sofa as we gave them our room, and DN peed on and ruined our new mattress. Happy anniversary!

If you feel you can say no, say no. If not, call off the babysitter and celebrate another weekend.

DumbleDork Tue 20-Aug-19 14:24:03

Trouble is we’ve had this before and I’ve just let her get away with it. But those weekends weren’t special so I never said no and they never had a key. Now I need to find a way of saying no without being a dick

HeffaLump1 Tue 20-Aug-19 14:27:57

To ask in AIBU you must have a reason to think you are being unreasonable. What reason could you possibly have? Is there a back story?
Or is your MIL so thick she thinks you've gone to all that trouble to get dcs looked after, and are happy to have other people stay hmm

miniaturelocomotive Tue 20-Aug-19 14:28:33

Send @WhatIsThis1's message:

* *There is no problem here. You simply reply "Sorry that is not convenient for us this weekend. The reason the kids are away is because we want the weekend to ourselves. Please don't tell people they can stay at our house without asking us in future."

HeffaLump1 Tue 20-Aug-19 14:28:42

Ah x-post, slight back story

LightDrizzle Tue 20-Aug-19 14:29:30

“Sorry, we have got plans, maybe they can make it another weekend.
The less you explain the better, otherwise people will come back at you with why “x” isn’t a problem.

HeyMonkey Tue 20-Aug-19 14:30:09

No. Tell her you have specifically shipped out your kids for the weekend because you plan to have a 2 day shagfest all over the house, so BIL and SIL are on this occasion not welcome to stay over.


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