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Husband brought a woman into our home

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girlsgonetame Mon 19-Aug-19 09:37:02

I posted here recently about a friendship my husband has developed with a colleague. He saved her in his phone under a mans name, lied about seeing her, said it was because I was jealous and he didn't want to have to explain himself. I decided he should give me some space for a few days whilst I worked on my issues with trust and jealousy. He came home at the weekend, assured me there was nothing going on and that he loved me, loved our family, didn't want to ruin that. He told me he would maintain a friendship with this woman as they are doing nothing wrong but that he would be more honest with me about it

Fast forward to today. I am supposed to be at work today but after everything that has happened I couldn't face it so have taken the kids to holiday club with the youngest at DHs parents house and booked myself last minute leave so that I could have a day at home with nothing else planned, get some jobs done, have some time actually to myself without DC or H around

He cycled to work this morning so left really early (starts at 8)
Just before 9 a car pulled up and out they both got. She was walking around my house like she owned the place. Was I unreasonable to hit the roof? He says he'd forgotten something that he needed for a meeting this morning and she had offered to drive him as he'd cycled.

She didn't even say anything she just said "I think I'd better go and wait in the car" 

GinDaddy Mon 19-Aug-19 09:38:42

YANBU at all.

If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn’t save her in his phone under another name. Or lie about her.

This is not looking good for him and I think you should confront where possible to understand where you stand.

fluffygal Mon 19-Aug-19 09:40:13

Did he know you would be at home?

Handbaghag Mon 19-Aug-19 09:40:24

YANBU. Let us know what happens. Sorry to hear this.

Toothproblems Mon 19-Aug-19 09:40:28

Did he know you would be home?

I'm a bit torn on this if he hadn't tried to hide his 'friendship' i wouldn't think anything of it. But the fact he changed her name and kept her a secret i would be thinking very seriously about our marriage

JustHereWithPopcorn Mon 19-Aug-19 09:40:40

Oh dear that doesn't look good I'm sorry OP! If he was just picking something up for a meeting surely she would have just waited in the car while he quickly popped in and out? I would be suspicious about what they were really there together for.

Ynci Mon 19-Aug-19 09:41:07

“Walking round like she owned the place”.
Makes me think she has been there before.

YouOkHunz Mon 19-Aug-19 09:41:31

They came home for a shag. LTB.

formerbabe Mon 19-Aug-19 09:41:38

So sorry op..flowers

Takemebacktolondon Mon 19-Aug-19 09:42:04

Well it’s obvious what they were there for. I bet he was gutted when you turned up.

changeofname0987 Mon 19-Aug-19 09:42:37

I'm sorry OP. I can only advise you to trust your instincts and don't be played for a fool.

Mileysmiley Mon 19-Aug-19 09:43:06

Smell the bed sheets ... you will know if somebody has been in there

Carpetburns Mon 19-Aug-19 09:44:32

Did she get out?

AmIThough Mon 19-Aug-19 09:44:52

He's a liar and a cheat OP, I am sorry.

TheInvestigator Mon 19-Aug-19 09:44:56

What exactly was she doing?
Did they see you when they came in? Or did they not know you were there?
How was she acting like she owned the place? Which rooms did she go in? What did she do?

LemonPrism Mon 19-Aug-19 09:44:59

@Mileysmiley if she was there the whole time they didn't get a chance to DTD....

Witchofzog Mon 19-Aug-19 09:45:12

Were you in the house when they showed up or outside. I know hindsight is a great thing but if you were outside it might have been a better idea to give them 20 mins or so. He is just going to make out everything is plausible when really he is behaving in a hugely shady way. I feel for you- what an awful way to behave

LemonPrism Mon 19-Aug-19 09:45:56

If he'd forgotten something wouldn't she have just waited in the car anyway? While he ran in and grabbed it?

Odd behaviour

katewhinesalot Mon 19-Aug-19 09:46:03

Doesn't look good does it.
A friend discovered all the neighbors had been seeing a car regularly at her house and had suspected an affair but nobody told her until she discovered it a different way.
Ask the neighbours about her car if you want definite proof.

cheesydoesit Mon 19-Aug-19 09:46:13

Is this 'Steve'? OP, how much can you take? It sounds miserable.

Whatisthisfuckery Mon 19-Aug-19 09:46:33

Oh dear, that doesn’t sound good. If he’d had nothing to hide he wouldn’t have been trying to hide it. I also bet she’s been there before, and I bet if you’d have hidden in a cupboard or something you’d have found him doing more than picking something up.

Sorry OP, you’ve got a cheat there by the sounds of it.

apacketofcrisps Mon 19-Aug-19 09:47:10

....why are you putting up with this?

Rethymnon Mon 19-Aug-19 09:48:05

Don’t let him fool you a second longer OP.

Nobody but nobody stores a woman under a man’s name for any other reason than a guilty conscience.

As a PP says, if he was just picking something up, why did she need to even come in?

This must be really really awful for you, but change the locks today and begin divorce proceedings ASAP.

At least now you know and won’t drive yourself crazy trying to second guess his lies.

Angelf1sh Mon 19-Aug-19 09:48:24

Your various posts about this woman are quite contradictory. The last one I read it sounded like your husband was obsessed with her but she wasn’t remotely interested and you were more or less stalking her online. Whatever the truth of their relationship, you clearly don’t trust your partner and I think your relationship has run it’s course. You’d be better off focusing on your own wellbeing and mental health rather than concentrating any energy on either of them.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets Mon 19-Aug-19 09:49:15

I think it’s obvious they came home for a shag.

How did he react when you were there?

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