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To be very suspicious of this ....

(77 Posts)
Homealonealways Sun 18-Aug-19 03:34:52

DH travels ALOT with work. Not quite FIFO but not far off it. I get really, really lonely. Have a job, good circle of friends but no family - all these things are wonderful but not the same as being with your husband. DH has suggested me 'dating' if I'm lonely as long as I'm honest with him about it. I was devastated he would suggest such I thing. Was too embarrassed to tell anyone in real life, until I had one too many rose's yesterday and blurted it out to my best mate. Her immediate response was well clearly that's what he's doing then ....... he is working away this weekend and now I can't sleep for thinking about what the hell he is doing ........ Does he genuinely want me to date other men or just get a pass for himself?!

Aquamarine1029 Sun 18-Aug-19 03:36:37

I think your friend might be right.

Greeborising Sun 18-Aug-19 03:39:21

Oh dear. Sorry op but he’s clearly shagging.
It sounds like he wants his cake etc etc
Do you want to live like this?!
Personally, I’d be gone.
Total lack of respect

Alicewond Sun 18-Aug-19 03:42:03

He does sound like he wants you to do so, to excuse what he’s already doing

OooErMissus Sun 18-Aug-19 03:45:41

Yes it does sound as if that's exactly what he's doing.

Bit rich that he expects you to be honest about it, if you do it, but he isn't being... hmm

MsDogLady Sun 18-Aug-19 04:00:44

That is horrible, OP. It sounds like he’s pushing for an open marriage, and he’s already had a head start. If my husband said that to me, I’d tell him to not bother coming home from his weekend trip. And I’d mean it.

Loveislandaddict Sun 18-Aug-19 04:02:29

Sorry, whats FIFO?

Are there any telltale symptoms that he’s playing away? Ie. Sudden interest in his appearance? Cagey with his phone?

Are you able to contact him when he is away fairly easily?

Any suspicious credit card entries?

It is a strange suggestion. Most people would say get a new hubby, meet up with friends xyz, not have a date!

Mileysmiley Sun 18-Aug-19 04:33:23

He is either having a affair or he wants to have a three-some

HennyPennyHorror Sun 18-Aug-19 04:36:58

Oh I would not be happy at ALL OP. I'd be very clear about this. I'd have to consider leaving.

Koalablue Sun 18-Aug-19 04:37:40

Love is. It's fly in fly out. Common in the mining industry of australia.
He's cheating. Sorry.

Durgasarrow Sun 18-Aug-19 04:38:21

Not a good sign, I am sorry to say.

Loveislandaddict Sun 18-Aug-19 04:46:11

Sorry, hobby, not hubby.

Freudian slip?!

SimplySteveRedux Sun 18-Aug-19 04:49:40

Tell him to FIFO - fit in or fuck off. He's clearly shagging around, you should tell him to fuck off. Make sure you get a STI test ASAP.

ifeelgreat Sun 18-Aug-19 04:55:35

Can you get on to emails / social media?

rainbowstardrops Sun 18-Aug-19 05:29:21

What an odd thing for a husband to tell his wife!
I'd ask him straight out if he was cheating on me

Yeahnahmum Sun 18-Aug-19 05:33:39

Yup. I think your friend is right op
That was my first thought too....hmm

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox Sun 18-Aug-19 05:35:02

My DH has worked away practically all our married life. He would no longer still be married if he suggested that. Of course he is doing it for a free pass. What a massive twat.

Homealonealways Sun 18-Aug-19 05:52:29

Sorry FIFO, fly in fly out. He spends approximately 6 months a year away. We have seperate accounts so I have no access to what he is spending money on. He doesn't have social media and I don't know any of his passwords for his email etc. He can sometimes be hard to get hold off when he's away. His behaviour hasn't changed recently, no sudden different in him apart from this comment. I'm younger than him, maybe the novelty is wearing off now that I'm no longer the 'young wife'

proseccoaficionado Sun 18-Aug-19 06:10:49

@Homealonealways So what are you getting out of this relationship?

Zoflorabore Sun 18-Aug-19 06:19:59

This is all damage limitation to me op.

He's telling you to date someone as when you find out that he's doing the same ( which you no doubt sadly will ) he can say that he offered you the same choice.

No decent man would want another man near his precious wife. The thought of it would leave most men feeling sick to the stomach and yours is actually suggesting you do it.

He's telling you what he is. Listen to him.

Sorry op flowers

YobaOljazUwaque Sun 18-Aug-19 06:29:32

Sounds like he could well have another wife and family elsewhere. Did you watch Mrs Wilson?

Shoxfordian Sun 18-Aug-19 06:31:00

It definitely sounds like he's considered it or has been doing it himself and wants you to do it as well so he can carry on

BitOfFun Sun 18-Aug-19 06:35:31

He's suggested something very strange- there's definitely a problem here. Do you have children?

Homealonealways Sun 18-Aug-19 06:37:21

I completely adore him, we work really well together. He's attentive, loving, I am really physically attracted to him and we have a great physical relationship. But there is niggling doubt in my mind. He is a really charming man, he completely swept me off my feet and now I'm worried he's lining up my replacement....

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox Sun 18-Aug-19 06:42:05

Actually, I would imagine he has always had this arrangement when traveling. Especially with no paper trail.

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